basicly...about a month ago from now...i was at home...my mom called and told me she was gunna go to get mcdonalds...cuz im a sucker for icecream... i asked for one...about 30mins later.....she told me to come to my ex gf's house [my mom and my ex gf's mom are friends...] so... i went there... i went there...grabbed my icecream...and said i was going home...but....my ex gfs mom told me to sit down and eat it there...for some reason... i agree'd...so i sat down...and ate my ice cream...with my ex on the other couch... we started talking about her new job....and what she was gunna do later in the day... so after we were done talking and shit...she said she was gunna go upstairs....she expected me to follow her [and kinda...do stuff] i was reluctant because of the relationship i was/am in...but she kept asking me...to the point where i would say she was begging...so... i went up...we watched tv...and sat on her bed...about after 30 mins of watching TV....i noticed she was moving fairly close...so... being the person i always told my gf i was/am..i moved away slowly..she moved closer...after about 10mins of that stupid shit...i noticed she was kind of laying in an awkward position...and then i noticed she was like...masturbating...beside me...i didn't say anything....for some reason....and kinda ignored it...then she moved closer...still masturbating..beside me....then she moved closer....to the point where our legs were touching...annnnnnnd..being the fucking RETARD i am... i moved closer....she moved closer....and i ended up....helping her with what she was doing...i made her orgasm... and i went home after that... [we didn't have sex...just...rubbing..]
now...this was about a month ago....so..at first... i was wondering what the fuck i should do... i have never cheated on a gf before...in my entire life...and aparently...that changed.... i fucking PROMISED my gf i wouldn't ever... i said it was fucking impossible....holy fuck was i wrong... i was panicing... i avoided my gf for about 2 days....and i have no idea why... i didnt know if i should tell her... i didnt know if i shouldnt... so...once again...being the fucking STUPID person i am... i didn't tell her.... i feel like an idiot!...this ruined my fucking life....and i have nobody to blame but me... when i tell my gf i love her.... i know im not lying... i do love her...more than anything....but.... it seems like it has partially lost meaning ever since i did that...
i am wondering if i should come clean... and pray to God she forgives me....but...i dont know.... i can't live without her...but i know i can't live like this...keeping this from her...she will have to know sometime...
basicly... i have thought about doing 3 things...
1:come clean...and Praying to God she forgives me..
2:continue what i am doing..and attempt to live like i am...all depressed and shit...
or...
3: [what im thinking is the best option] write a letter....about what happened...how it happened...why it happened...who's fault it was... and how i hope she forgives me...and how sorry i am... and give this letter to her when i believe the time is right....when i think she will be the most forgiving...when i will even have the balls to give the letter to her...
what do you people think?
right now... my fkn life is ruined...i am...fucking depressed all the time...hiding it from everyone... and ... i tell her i love her... and i feel like it is lying... even though i know it isnt a lie.. i do love her...like...more than anyone or anything...but... i know that this will fucking affect me for the rest of my life...and i get depressed when i tell her i love her... i know i shouldnt.... that is a good thing... i used to be able to say i love you to her...and get this feeling that everything was perfect...and that the rest of my life would be easy...as long as i had her...
now... i just..it is a giant fucking mess...i feel like crying when i talk to her...im depressed 24/7...and something that isnt uncommon is i think of suicide...although i always end up saying to myself that i promised her i would never leave her unless she didnt want me...[i did say that to her...]and that would be not only leaving her....but completly abandoning her......
Guys: What would you do?
Girls: If your bf cheated on you...what would you do...how would you feel...would you break up with him?
just...idk what to do...just...yeah....
it's almost 3am and i cant sleep because of the thoughts im left alone with...
but before you guys suggest anything...there are a few things that i would like you to consider before putting in your input/thoughts
...i cant live with out her...i love her dearly...and i would do anything to keep her...
but... i know that i cannot keep things the way they are..at least not forever...
i put her way above myself...if i have to...i'll do whatever i can to decrease the pain i know i have caused her...
i can't believe that i am as stupid as i am...
anyway... i know i repeated alot of shit...and i know...this thing was way too fucking long...but... i would just appreciate your guys thoughts... idk what to do
now..ima try to go to sleep... i gotta get up in 4 hours for school... =\
now...this was about a month ago....so..at first... i was wondering what the fuck i should do... i have never cheated on a gf before...in my entire life...and aparently...that changed.... i fucking PROMISED my gf i wouldn't ever... i said it was fucking impossible....holy fuck was i wrong... i was panicing... i avoided my gf for about 2 days....and i have no idea why... i didnt know if i should tell her... i didnt know if i shouldnt... so...once again...being the fucking STUPID person i am... i didn't tell her.... i feel like an idiot!...this ruined my fucking life....and i have nobody to blame but me... when i tell my gf i love her.... i know im not lying... i do love her...more than anything....but.... it seems like it has partially lost meaning ever since i did that...
i am wondering if i should come clean... and pray to God she forgives me....but...i dont know.... i can't live without her...but i know i can't live like this...keeping this from her...she will have to know sometime...
basicly... i have thought about doing 3 things...
1:come clean...and Praying to God she forgives me..
2:continue what i am doing..and attempt to live like i am...all depressed and shit...
or...
3: [what im thinking is the best option] write a letter....about what happened...how it happened...why it happened...who's fault it was... and how i hope she forgives me...and how sorry i am... and give this letter to her when i believe the time is right....when i think she will be the most forgiving...when i will even have the balls to give the letter to her...
what do you people think?
right now... my fkn life is ruined...i am...fucking depressed all the time...hiding it from everyone... and ... i tell her i love her... and i feel like it is lying... even though i know it isnt a lie.. i do love her...like...more than anyone or anything...but... i know that this will fucking affect me for the rest of my life...and i get depressed when i tell her i love her... i know i shouldnt.... that is a good thing... i used to be able to say i love you to her...and get this feeling that everything was perfect...and that the rest of my life would be easy...as long as i had her...
now... i just..it is a giant fucking mess...i feel like crying when i talk to her...im depressed 24/7...and something that isnt uncommon is i think of suicide...although i always end up saying to myself that i promised her i would never leave her unless she didnt want me...[i did say that to her...]and that would be not only leaving her....but completly abandoning her......
Guys: What would you do?
Girls: If your bf cheated on you...what would you do...how would you feel...would you break up with him?
just...idk what to do...just...yeah....
it's almost 3am and i cant sleep because of the thoughts im left alone with...
but before you guys suggest anything...there are a few things that i would like you to consider before putting in your input/thoughts
...i cant live with out her...i love her dearly...and i would do anything to keep her...
but... i know that i cannot keep things the way they are..at least not forever...
i put her way above myself...if i have to...i'll do whatever i can to decrease the pain i know i have caused her...
i can't believe that i am as stupid as i am...
anyway... i know i repeated alot of shit...and i know...this thing was way too fucking long...but... i would just appreciate your guys thoughts... idk what to do
now..ima try to go to sleep... i gotta get up in 4 hours for school... =\
[CENTER]I'm not as think as you drunk i am[/CENTER]
[CENTER]:confused::confused::confused:[/CENTER]
[CENTER]:confused::confused::confused:[/CENTER]
