And I was hoping for the best...

    • And I was hoping for the best...

      Well, my week has been especially horrible, and I just don't like my life anymore. All my life I've been a social outcast, constantly being made fun of, attacked, and looked down upon. In my 5th grade year, my best friend left me and moved to another school, and we had been extremely close friends since 3rd grade. After that, I was completely alone. Constantly the arrogant assholes were attacking me, and I was even attacked in the middle of my school lunch; I was chocked almost to unconciousness, and the teachers didn't even help. It wasn't until my 8th grade year a girl started to talk to me, as if we had been friends for so long. It wasn't long after that that a lot more people began to talk to me; I finally had a decent group of friends and the attacks against me stopped. I was actually happy. But everything comes to an end.

      During my highschool years, I had many friends, and I would hang out with them alot. But then my mother won custody of my sister and she came to my school. She began spreading rumors about me, very nasty ones, and I actually lost a few of my friends because of her, and the upper classmen began to criticize my every action, and I felt suffocated because of it. But that one girl still was very good friends with me, and I still had a few good and close friends. Then we came into this current school year. She fancied another guy (not that I had major feelings for her) and began hanging out with him, and I felt alone again. I developed a crush on a girl in my class, and we began spending some of time together, though not much. Then, it was our homecoming, and I realized that she was actually talking to a guy behind my back. She seemed pissed at him though, so I didn't give up hope. Just yesterday, her and I went to a college day thing in a city near us. We spent the entire day together. I actually thought I had a chance. It turns out her 16th birthday party was tonight...and I wasn't invited. Whats more, she was hanging out with the people who made my life a living hell. I felt once again like an outcast. I had three years in complete social abandonment, and then I had many friends, only to have almost all of them ripped away three years later. I just got recent word as well that one of my friends' brothers was bitten by a rattlesnake in Florida, so she rushed down to make sure he was okay. Alone, again. And to make matters worse, my cousin may have just contracted the H1N1 virus from her school. It seems my life is just going downhill; the happiness is just an illusion. I feel happy for a moment, and it is immediaely ripped away, and I just feel like I'm falling. I don't know what to do. Through my experiences, humans live only to cause misery and pain to everyone else.

      I really, really want to just go and beat the living shit out of every person who has made my life as horrible as it is, and I don't care what happens to me. I just want them gone, or maybe to make them feel how I feel, just take away all of their happiness.

      I feel so alone, and I think my life is just a joke...I'm ready to just die.
      We sing the Death Song kids
      Because we've got no future...
      And we want to be just like you...

    • Re: And I was hoping for the best...

      Man stay strong! Please. Life can only get better. I have a story sort of like yours; bullying, etc...whenever I get down I listen to "Beautiful" by Eminem, just remember "Don't let them say you ain't beautiful...they can all get fucked, just stay true to you."

      There are so many good people in the world. There are a lot of pricks and you have been unlucky enough to have to deal with a large amount of them. But stay strong and true to you and you will get out and live life stronger due to it. Count your blessings, each and every one. If your supposed best friend doesn't invite you to a party, it shows she cares more about public opinion of her than you, and you deserve better. KEEP GOING and PM me if you want to chat.
      All the best.
      Messi
      X

    • Re: And I was hoping for the best...

      iamivabe1992 wrote:

      Well, my week has been especially horrible, and I just don't like my life anymore. All my life I've been a social outcast, constantly being made fun of, attacked, and looked down upon. In my 5th grade year, my best friend left me and moved to another school, and we had been extremely close friends since 3rd grade. After that, I was completely alone. Constantly the arrogant assholes were attacking me, and I was even attacked in the middle of my school lunch; I was chocked almost to unconciousness, and the teachers didn't even help. It wasn't until my 8th grade year a girl started to talk to me, as if we had been friends for so long. It wasn't long after that that a lot more people began to talk to me; I finally had a decent group of friends and the attacks against me stopped. I was actually happy. But everything comes to an end.

      HOLY...
      it sounds like me.
      i was always the outcast. but they had good reasons to hate me, people shouldn't have been doing that to you without reason. but they needed someone, someone that they saw as weak or could be made weak. they gang up on you and try to use you to lift them-selfs up. [this humanity is surely a waste of energy...] you should not feel like it will come to an end. Mine came to an end after my girlfriend killed herself. my girlfriend and me, seams much like you and that girl. I'll give as much advice as I can.

      iamivabe1992 wrote:

      During my highschool years, I had many friends, and I would hang out with them alot. But then my mother won custody of my sister and she came to my school. She began spreading rumors about me, very nasty ones, and I actually lost a few of my friends because of her, and the upper classmen began to criticize my every action, and I felt suffocated because of it. But that one girl still was very good friends with me, and I still had a few good and close friends. Then we came into this current school year. She fancied another guy (not that I had major feelings for her) and began hanging out with him, and I felt alone again. I developed a crush on a girl in my class, and we began spending some of time together, though not much. Then, it was our homecoming, and I realized that she was actually talking to a guy behind my back. She seemed pissed at him though, so I didn't give up hope. Just yesterday, her and I went to a college day thing in a city near us. We spent the entire day together. I actually thought I had a chance. It turns out her 16th birthday party was tonight...and I wasn't invited. Whats more, she was hanging out with the people who made my life a living hell. I felt once again like an outcast. I had three years in complete social abandonment, and then I had many friends, only to have almost all of them ripped away three years later. I just got recent word as well that one of my friends' brothers was bitten by a rattlesnake in Florida, so she rushed down to make sure he was okay. Alone, again. And to make matters worse, my cousin may have just contracted the H1N1 virus from her school. It seems my life is just going downhill; the happiness is just an illusion.

      you may be alone physically and emotionally, but mentally, many people understand where your coming from, and are ether there or past it. I feel sorry for you, but I'm glad you've seen its an illusion. its an illusion that we make up. we make life what it is, and we struggle to find "happiness" but what is it really? is it just chemicals and electric signals in the brain? or is it something more... more real. the same goes for love. You've seen part of a new world. you've taken the first steps. if you start to see the world for what it is, it will only continue to become worse. but it will become easier to understand, and you will see the truth.

      iamivabe1992 wrote:

      I feel happy for a moment, and it is immediaely ripped away, and I just feel like I'm falling. I don't know what to do. Through my experiences, humans live only to cause misery and pain to everyone else.

      I really, really want to just go and beat the living shit out of every person who has made my life as horrible as it is, and I don't care what happens to me. I just want them gone, or maybe to make them feel how I feel, just take away all of their happiness.

      you may feel like they made your life miserable, and they have. but it is you that is having a "bad" life? think about it. you see the truth, and these people simply see the cloud which is happiness and friendship. one day they will be alone, and finally understand. weather this happens in this lifetime, or as they die. they will be alone. we are all alone..... no one can understand it. so what if thieve been thought the same thing. they weren't you, and never will be. events are seen thought there eyes and seen as they see it. we all see it diffidently, being alone.

      iamivabe1992 wrote:

      I feel so alone, and I think my life is just a joke...I'm ready to just die.

      you are alone, the thing you are not tricked by is the joke, and you arn't ready for death. trust me....
      [SIGPIC]http://www.thecommonage.net/mandala.gif[/SIGPIC]
      The living may not hear them; Their voices may fall upon deaf ears. But make no mistake; The dead are not silent. My Skype: Alaestor My TeamSpeak3: ts3.FutureGadgetLab.net

    • Re: And I was hoping for the best...

      I kind of went through the same thing. I was always the guy that people picked on, and they tried to get under my skin. Most of the time, they succeeded. I've had rumors spread about me, and I've spread them. At some point, you have to fight fire with fire. If you don't, people will just take advantage of you forever. Another thing I did was I distanced myself away from the people making my life miserable, and I just sort of fell into another crowd. Now I've got amazing friends, and the people who were dicks just leave me alone, and I ignore them too. Just hang in there man. People are douches, but there are the rare people out there who are good, and have good intentions. Life does get better, although that may sound like bullshit, but it does. Just give it time.