Okay.. hi. I have.. a bit of a problem. I'm 14, turning 15 this September. I've dealt with growing up more then my age in the past 2 years, parents divorce, mom's mental issues, and please for the people that are here to give me advice for the story I'm about to tell, don't tell me I'm too young for this, or my age, I've delt with pain and scars that many people my age havnt.
Well I know this sounds stupid but even from USA my friend put my msn on this site called add my addy. First it was fun, but I'm trying to delete my account, too many pervs adding me, and countless that I've blocked & deleted. I'm in Argentina right now, need to skip grades and deal with highschool classes in spanish, its really stressful. But last year around October or so, this guy added me. He's from England and before you say he can be anyone, I had him on facebook, I've got to know him, his friends, even his mother and brothers. I know him in the sense that I know he's not someone else pretending. He's 17 years old, 3 years older then me. First I talked to him for 2 reasons. He wasnt any of other guys asking for cam, and once we found out we both had cam, we would video chat without any uk sexual stuff at all, just looking at eachother and talking. And secondly well I could use a friend to lean on, things at home were bad enough, and it was just i dont know a break from life.
Then after sometime like a month maybe, I found out I completly fell for him. Now what I thought back then was.. well I'm asian, smart but never was the popular one, I know I'm not that pretty but I'm not ugly either and well I knew someone like him would never fall for him, especially knowing guys like him would have plenty of gorgeous girls around him. But when I pushed him away, and yes I did knowing what a heartbreak was, I've been through it before, i did deleting him on facebook and msn and thinking I'd never talk to him again and that's that. But somehow my friend thought I was wrong about it, and talked to him. Then after that he emails me saying to unblock him and he really needs to talk to me. So I did only on msn, and he tells me that he's not rejecting me, he's been avoiding me because he believes he fell in love with me and that he really wants me. Now I know at this point what you are thinking, but we spent 7 hours just on video chat each night untill it was 2am my time, and about 5am his. With him, when im not online he would email me with poems, love letters, and just amaze me, sometimes his words brought tears, happy tears. It had been great for almost 4 months now, and I readded him on facebook and everything. We even had this talk where we really wanted to see eachother in person, and my friend that startted this for me actually is going to england with her family in november or december this year, and she is 90% sure I can come with. Besides that even before that, I was planning on not staying in this country, moving here was temporarily. I am planning to go to Australia or England for boarding school sometime between 2 years. So yes we talked about lots of things, we became inseperable, and we would leave little posts on eachothers wall, constantly email and stuff. But he's in college, i didnt know in the British system you finish school at 16 and start college after that. Well I went to this church retreat about a month ago in the start of January. When I came back.. first he talked to me, said he missed me and loves me, but he didnt ask for cams after because he had to go back to college and he had a lot of work to do. Then he wasn't on for about a week and it was confusing to me.. then once like 2 weeks ago, he was on, talking to me, and then just when I was going to cheer him up, he was really stressed about a coursework, he told me it wasnt school anymore, its his career on the line. and I get that, I really do, I study my ass off because in usa I wanted to get into Ivy League and here well if I go to England, I really want to get into Cambridge or Oxford. But then he told me off, saying he wasnt in the mood to talk to anyone. And that still left me confused, I didnt hear the usual I love you after that first week I came back and that was about a month ago. I got really confused and waited untill the start of this week emailing him asking if it's me, he said nothing to do with me, its just college and he still doesnt feel like talking to anyone. Then 4 days ago... I find out he deleted me from his facebook and also deleted my friend. Hasnt been on msn, dont know if he blocked me or if he hasnt been on, I suspect the second because I wrote an email asking why and what happened, why he would do all this without a word. Is this over or I dont know, it all happened too fast without a word, I dont think he played me, he had nothing to gain, I'm not one of those "flash and sexual" people on cam at all. Now I'm confused without a word from him, I checked his personal website and my picture's still there I dont get what happened.. Any ideas? And please dont say I dont know love, I've heard that. But it might be, it might not be, for my case if you think about it, it doesnt take away the confusion, nor does it take out the pain. So please advice, I dont care if it stings, just no "omfg ur still a child" I have two little sisters, I went through hell for that past 2 yrs, with my mother getting a boyfriend and all please just advice and no hate stuff. Thanks..
Well I know this sounds stupid but even from USA my friend put my msn on this site called add my addy. First it was fun, but I'm trying to delete my account, too many pervs adding me, and countless that I've blocked & deleted. I'm in Argentina right now, need to skip grades and deal with highschool classes in spanish, its really stressful. But last year around October or so, this guy added me. He's from England and before you say he can be anyone, I had him on facebook, I've got to know him, his friends, even his mother and brothers. I know him in the sense that I know he's not someone else pretending. He's 17 years old, 3 years older then me. First I talked to him for 2 reasons. He wasnt any of other guys asking for cam, and once we found out we both had cam, we would video chat without any uk sexual stuff at all, just looking at eachother and talking. And secondly well I could use a friend to lean on, things at home were bad enough, and it was just i dont know a break from life.
Then after sometime like a month maybe, I found out I completly fell for him. Now what I thought back then was.. well I'm asian, smart but never was the popular one, I know I'm not that pretty but I'm not ugly either and well I knew someone like him would never fall for him, especially knowing guys like him would have plenty of gorgeous girls around him. But when I pushed him away, and yes I did knowing what a heartbreak was, I've been through it before, i did deleting him on facebook and msn and thinking I'd never talk to him again and that's that. But somehow my friend thought I was wrong about it, and talked to him. Then after that he emails me saying to unblock him and he really needs to talk to me. So I did only on msn, and he tells me that he's not rejecting me, he's been avoiding me because he believes he fell in love with me and that he really wants me. Now I know at this point what you are thinking, but we spent 7 hours just on video chat each night untill it was 2am my time, and about 5am his. With him, when im not online he would email me with poems, love letters, and just amaze me, sometimes his words brought tears, happy tears. It had been great for almost 4 months now, and I readded him on facebook and everything. We even had this talk where we really wanted to see eachother in person, and my friend that startted this for me actually is going to england with her family in november or december this year, and she is 90% sure I can come with. Besides that even before that, I was planning on not staying in this country, moving here was temporarily. I am planning to go to Australia or England for boarding school sometime between 2 years. So yes we talked about lots of things, we became inseperable, and we would leave little posts on eachothers wall, constantly email and stuff. But he's in college, i didnt know in the British system you finish school at 16 and start college after that. Well I went to this church retreat about a month ago in the start of January. When I came back.. first he talked to me, said he missed me and loves me, but he didnt ask for cams after because he had to go back to college and he had a lot of work to do. Then he wasn't on for about a week and it was confusing to me.. then once like 2 weeks ago, he was on, talking to me, and then just when I was going to cheer him up, he was really stressed about a coursework, he told me it wasnt school anymore, its his career on the line. and I get that, I really do, I study my ass off because in usa I wanted to get into Ivy League and here well if I go to England, I really want to get into Cambridge or Oxford. But then he told me off, saying he wasnt in the mood to talk to anyone. And that still left me confused, I didnt hear the usual I love you after that first week I came back and that was about a month ago. I got really confused and waited untill the start of this week emailing him asking if it's me, he said nothing to do with me, its just college and he still doesnt feel like talking to anyone. Then 4 days ago... I find out he deleted me from his facebook and also deleted my friend. Hasnt been on msn, dont know if he blocked me or if he hasnt been on, I suspect the second because I wrote an email asking why and what happened, why he would do all this without a word. Is this over or I dont know, it all happened too fast without a word, I dont think he played me, he had nothing to gain, I'm not one of those "flash and sexual" people on cam at all. Now I'm confused without a word from him, I checked his personal website and my picture's still there I dont get what happened.. Any ideas? And please dont say I dont know love, I've heard that. But it might be, it might not be, for my case if you think about it, it doesnt take away the confusion, nor does it take out the pain. So please advice, I dont care if it stings, just no "omfg ur still a child" I have two little sisters, I went through hell for that past 2 yrs, with my mother getting a boyfriend and all please just advice and no hate stuff. Thanks..
