backup guy?

    • backup guy?

      Back in January finally worked up the courage to ask out a girl let`s call her T. I`ve had had my eye on for a while. Her response basically amounted to her saying that he parents would not let her date till she was older and saying I was great guy, etc. I`ve talked to her in person and online for the past few weeks and have started to become concerned that I`m more being played for a fool then anything else.

      Everytime I see her at parties, I`m always the one who has to ininitate the conversation and most recently has gotten worse, leaving party events without bothering to say goodbye, never seeming to able to commit to plans to be able to see her. AKA her suddenly wanting to delay some group movie night thing to the summer, just because ONE of her close friends can`t come, when she was the one who suggested still hanging out in groups in the first place. Just never seem to anywhere near her priority list, always seems to 20 things more important. Most recently became more worried about this, when some random girl at one party was actually being way more flirty to me, then T, who was the one is actually invited me.

      I`m pretty inexperienced with this kinda stuff, so wanted to some other people`s opinion. Though still not looking good ATM, least I think. Just feel like I`m on the hook with her. Alledgely her parents won`t let her go out, but she never really gives me any sign that she did not just say that to just let me down easy.

    • Re: backup guy?

      She might just be trying to keep it as her parents want it for now.

      My advice is keep talking to her when she's online or nearby but stop going out of your way for her, it won't be worth it.

      If nothing else, keep her as a friend. If it becomes more in the future, great. If not, well you didn't go out of your way all the time.

      Hope it works out
      True story of a teenage girl overcoming teenage weight problems: Weight loss for teens

    • Re: backup guy?

      I agree with above, it may be that she's trying to stay friends but also keep distance so nothing mounts up to wanting to date etc.

      Having said that, the things that she has done do sound a little fishy and she might just feel a little uncomfortable around you at the moment. I know that might hurt to know but it could be time to just see her as a friend instead of someont that you liked because it looks like she's trying to stay distant from you.

      You can never know until you ask. You don't deserve to have your head messed with so by all means, there's nothing better than being blunt and ask where you stand with her. Give her the oppotunity to be honest with you, and if she says one thing and does another then you know that she isn't right for you.

      GOOD LUCK!

    • Re: backup guy?

      Thanks for the advice, this has been going on for a while. Will still be civil with her, but just stick with seeing her as a friend. At the end of my rope with all this, not gonna wait around for a girl who doesn`t give me any signs that the feelings are mutual. Just gonna move on, I was surprised she not give me a flat out "No." in the first place, so I kinda already prepared myself for this a bit.

      Will probably see the other flirty girl in a few weeks at another party, I did think about becoming involved with her when I first met her, but I needed to first figure out my feelings for T and what was going on with her.

      Feel ready to give this other girl a chance, was instantly attracted to her, when I first met her. The last thing I wanted was for this other girl to feel like she was my second choice and I didn`t want to pursue anything with her BEFORE I had wrapped my head around this whole situation with T. Didn`t want to be that guy who just jumps from girl to girl.