My "Father"

    • My "Father"

      Well, this isn't a post about some upset teen wanting to cry about daddy-issues.

      No, this is just something I want to get off my chest and seeing as most of my friends have issues and are currently in crisis I have chosen not to share this with them. So I've decided to write to a bunch of people of whom will not really care about this and of whom I've never met.

      Well, I'm moving out of my house in early May. I'm moving two hours away and I will be living on my own. Yes, I have the consent of my Mother and Step-father. My entire family supports my decision to move out. I am a mature individual and I am clearly capable of supporting myself. I will be moving to the beach in May and in August I'll leave and move to the other side of the state to go to college.

      That is just some background information to get out of the way. The point of this post is that when I move to the beach, and then go to college in August I've decided to completely erase my father from my life. He will no longer exist and he and the rest of that side of my family will no longer exists. He has never supported me financially, and has never pulled his weight as a father. He is in his forties and still doesn't have his life together. I have attempted to have a functional relationship with him but he just destroys it every time.

      I have come to this conclusion after many wasted chances that I have given him. He has showed no clear interest of being apart of my life and the only good thing that has resulted from his actions, besides the creation of me, was the growth in my maturity.

      I just wanted to tell someone how I felt because I haven't talked to him since October.

      I know this is a really long post that most of you won't read but it will give me peace of mind knowing that I got this off of my chest.
      You do not understand my logic and you may think this is irrational but I do not need to go into detail to explain my logic. And if I did, you would understand my reasoning.

      Thank you for the opportunity to be free of this wandering thought.

    • Re: My "Father"

      yes i agree, please pay no heed to that idiot, he got banned for his troubles for it!! well i can understand your reasoning, if you have given the man umpteen chances to have a fruitful father daughter relationship and he has blown it then maybe it is best you cut him out, like we can only be responsible for our own happiness, and if he is making you unhappy then you do what you need to do, now having said that, he is your father, and he maybe is unable to show his feelings, and i doubt he is the only person to have a mest up life at that age, now im not justifying anything on his part, but, have you talked to your mother about it? get her opinion on the matter maybe, but its seriously your choice, and you seem to have a firm head on your shoulders so you seem to know what you are doing, i really hope everything will work out for you!!!

    • Re: My "Father"

      I have talked with my Mother about it and she supports my decision. My step-father has been more of a role-model to me and although he too has is flaws he was been more of a father than anyone else, including my biological Dad.

      My father would always ask to borrow money and such. He could support himself if he tried but he doesn't want to take responsibility for his actions and all he does is whine to people who will share pity on him and I'm not one of those people anymore. I, frankly, see through his bullshit and until he decides to pick up the phone and call me just to say "Hello, I hope you are having a wonderful day. I miss you." I will not give him the opportunity to pull me down anymore.

    • Re: My "Father"

      AjCapri wrote:

      I have talked with my Mother about it and she supports my decision. My step-father has been more of a role-model to me and although he too has is flaws he was been more of a father than anyone else, including my biological Dad.

      My father would always ask to borrow money and such. He could support himself if he tried but he doesn't want to take responsibility for his actions and all he does is whine to people who will share pity on him and I'm not one of those people anymore. I, frankly, see through his bullshit and until he decides to pick up the phone and call me just to say "Hello, I hope you are having a wonderful day. I miss you." I will not give him the opportunity to pull me down anymore.



      well then you have no other option in my view, you have tried as a responsible person to let your biological father into your life, its not just blood relationship that makes a person a mother/father/brother/sister etc, its sum1 who will support you no matter what, and put the needs of their family ahead of their own, if you mother supports you decision than i say there is nothing more you can do, a responsible father does not ask for money from their own child, unless it is a temporary thing, to save yourself alot of wasted time energy and most likely tears cut this man out of your life and be done with him, who knows that wake up call might make him rethink his life and want to be a better person and father, i knw its tough not talking to your own friends and having to come on this, but sometimes a strangers view gives you the perspective you need from a different angle, i hope everything works out for you, and that you live a more happier life because of your actions!!!! :) best of luck!!!