Show this One at my Admission

By Christian Pastuisaca

It is the living on the edge that birthed the greatest plans I’ve ever contrived from life. Balancing on a bullet pledge for no other reason to remind me that someday I will die. The equalization of opposing forces usurped by those who conscientiously try to forget their own battle that they feel raging inside. Equanimity be mine; If only when standing over the void preparing to dive. The nothingness is vast and disparaging. So many levels people have plunged past transfixed on the feeling that led them on this path. Count the everyday tragedies until you get to infinity, dial up your level of apathy so you can keep your sanity. I see the same readiness and weariness in my comrade’s eye and it doesn’t sooth me. Depression is a tiny vacation to hell during life. It makes you stay up at night to wait for the apocalyptic sunrise. I have grown stoic to the pontifications so pick and choose and hide behind your own divine and I’ll see you in the eventual demise. I have faith in the everyday failures, wins, and tries; cycle atop of cycle, come and claim your routine prize. Universe atop of Universe, bumping into someone else’s life. It was purely by chance we met in this time stream. I needed what I needed to tie my shoe and you took what you took to get through whatever everyday stood in your way. We both won’t ever stop and that lead us both to this precipice drop with no fear to jump. That is the scariest part; I have no fear to jump.

thanks

(because the last one got such a great reaction here is some more)

Concentrated rage

Today walls do not have a chance to stand if they get in my way. Little boys acting like vice lords. In this microcosm we wait to be picked off one by one until the next wave swallows us and we are thrown away. I can disappear in the whole wild world and escape responsibility if I so chose. What stays the same are the feelings that affect the people in masses. Constant danger, perfect paranoia is perfect awareness Stephen King said. Freedom in our pursuit of happiness but this voyeuristic society finds a way to fit a crowd in, diluting it. Freedom in my pursuit of destruction; try to stop me. I am comparable to any Gods rage you can imagine when I am faced with opposition in my quest to live life before death. The accuser stands and spills his guts to the rulers of society about the underground. Peeping Tom peeping me while I do my dirty deeds. Screaming Sycophants with compulsive need to grovel and beg in their own seat and tears do not deserve to walk in the same league as us. How many of us turn into dogs when our oppressors take us on a walk of death? The threat to ones freedom can make anyone see logic in mutiny. Bafflement, contempt, and disillusion is what I feel. I am led by self interest and altruism is a virtue that is truly scarce. I recognize this a universal feeling now. Still Ignominious is not my title. Still i believe in honor among thieves but who could place faith in thieves, degenerates, and addicts. I have faith in everyone to be bullet takers. I should be filled with lead instead i walk unnoticed; perhaps the best thing. Bullet dodging a true test of character. Its either fast and painless or missed by a whores hair. I do everything out of self interest and so do you. I am a dog unwilling to be trained, seeing red, and comfortable with the inevitable walk to the white room with the doctors staring. I see the fear in you as an instinct. Somewhere in natural selection you slipped through the cracks a paradox in your own species. You are unwilling to fall while we watch you grasp unto others trying to defy the gravity of the situation. There are more of us than there are of you. We are all willing to take you to the depths without hesitation. You hesitate after your guard leaves you naked and we strike with sincerity. We are all sincere in our revenge. It is in our self interest to be sincere.