This is going to be a really really long post, I just hope someone will take the time to help out. It's really important to me and I've really lost all idea as to what to do. And please, it's actually serious.
During my 8th grade and beginning of my freshman year, my best friend and I weren't extremely close. We first became friends in middle school because she is one of three triplets, and I was really close with one of the others since I was in first grade. But as my current best friend and I grew closer, it became a really good friendship. We have a lot of the same interests, we have matching personalities, music taste, clothing taste, humor; the works. In 8th grade, we were never extremely close due to being separated in the school, but a lot went on with her. She was extremely depressed, and she cut herself practically everyday for a long time. I believe her mom started her on therapy after she found out, but I'm not exactly sure when (she doesnt talk about this time in her life much, for obvious reasons). During the summer after 8th grade and into freshman year, she had her first true boyfriend. When he dumped her shortly into our freshman year, she was a complete mess, and she went back to cutting and feeling suicidal. This is when I started to get closer to her. I don't mean to sound over confident, but I was a REALLY good friend. She was an extremely secretive person, she always has been and always will be, but i tried my best to break her shell. I like to think I'm one of the few people that really got to her, and from what she has said, I definitely was. I was there for her all the time, I couldn't have been a better friend if I had tried. I really tried to care for her, because well, she was becoming my best friend. It's only natural. Her sadness seemed to last most of our freshman year, though she did stop cutting and she imporved slightly. I'm still not exactly sure how depressed she really was throughout the entire school year, since she kept a lot to herself, but I know she was NEVER perfectly fine. Over this past summer, she improved a lot. We went on a lot of religious retreats together, since we're involved in the same church program. She even admitted that I was her "jesus" figure in her life (not to get religious on everybody). In saying that she meant i basically saved her. But then she met her current boyfriend.
One thing I failed to mention is that my friend and I fight- A LOT. We've always gotten into little tiffs and arguements, its just our nature. But we've always, ALWAYS come back to each other. A lot of things were effected by her depression though, which caused us to butt heads a lot. There are a lot of scars on our friendship, but we've always held on. There's too much to let go of. Well, that's at least how I always used to feel.
When my best friend met her current boyfriend, I already knew it was going to be trouble. I'f heard things about him, and he was pretty well-known to be a..not so great guy. But I figured I'd at least give him the benefit of the doubt, and see for myself. As their relationship grew, I was not impressed. He was moody and rather unfaithful, and he had a really angry side to him. He also was into drinking a lot. At first I think he was even going to use my best friend, though I'm not entirely sure. One thing about my best friend though, is she has always been a little too desperate for a boy. I don't mean that to sound mean, but she just really feels as if she needs that affection.
This year, my sophomore year, he has caused more trouble in my life, my best friends life, and literally everybody's life, than anyone ever has. He has brought drama, extreme annoyance, and just plain stupid shit into our lives, especially mine. I gave him several chances to be nice to me, and I started being his friend on a few occasions. It has never worked, and the first time he went as far as to blame me for not getting enough time with my best friend, telling me im self-centered and selfish, its always been about me, and he just verbally abused me.
Let me tell you now, I have severe depression this year. Personally, I think it's worse than my best friend ever had, and it really controls my life. My best friend is the only one I really feel comfortable talking to about it. I need her a lot, just like she needed me.
So here this guy is telling me I'm selfish, when I need my best friend? What the hell is that? He's the one who came into this friendship randomly and screwed it up. I was here first, to put it bluntly.
But still, I gave him another chance, and he screwed it up again. A lot of stuff went down between me and my best friend ever since he came into the picture, since she kinda started neglecting me because of him. I'm not gonna explain that all though. But basically, just recently, he told my best friend not to be friends with me anymore. And it gets worse. This guy had told me loads of things about my best friend in the little time i was actually okay with him. He said, "I could never marry her" and "She bitches at me" and stuff like "Oh I'm not gonna be with her forever" and how he wants his "future relationships" to be. Well...according to my best friend, she was gonna be with this guy "FOREVER". She wants to marry him and everything...apparently he wasnt on the same page. So I told my friend EVERYTHING. She started crying of course, but she had to know. So like I said, he had told my friend to stop being friends with me, and he had verbally abused me too. He called me a lesbian, because apparently I cling to her too much. He also accused me of "flirting" with her, and "being all over her". Apparently I can't be best friends with anyone without it being a lesbian relationship. Yeah that totally makes sense (IM AS STRAIGHT AS A POLE.) This was freaking bullshit.
But you know what? This caused a massive fight between me and my friend and everything, and she forgave him. Even after he said all that shit to me, spread the lesbian thing to other people, and treated me like just plain CRAP, when all i did was allow him to completely steal my best friend away from me. And she FORGAVE HIM. Theyre completely normal again. THAT made me really angry.
But the thing is, I love my best friend more than anything in the world! We have this friendship that can't be broken. I know all high schoolers say things like this, but you really have no idea. We basically live off of each other. Both of us are crushed whenever we fight, and we really can't stand it. We truly do need eachother, and we can't just forget everything.
But lately, I've just been feeling really shitty. Like, I would do anything for my best friend, literally I'd die for her and all that. But her and her boyfriend have literally hurt me so bad...I kinda want to give up on her. I would never EVER let one of my boyfriends treat her like that and just forget it, there's no way in hell! I would've dumped his ass a looonnngg time ago, that is just not something you put up with. But she just doesn't see it that way. She "loves" him and he said he'll "change" for her. Now we all know that a 17 year old asshole will not do that any time soon. It's just the truth. And I just don't know what to do because I feel so hurt that I just want to let go of her, and let the friendship die and just leave it be. But for some reason i CANT. Like i literally can't. I've tested it before, and it hurts..a lot. Because like I said, I need her. I just wish there was something I could do.
Anyone have any ideas? I know this was a lot, but it's an important issue to me, and it really does hurt.
During my 8th grade and beginning of my freshman year, my best friend and I weren't extremely close. We first became friends in middle school because she is one of three triplets, and I was really close with one of the others since I was in first grade. But as my current best friend and I grew closer, it became a really good friendship. We have a lot of the same interests, we have matching personalities, music taste, clothing taste, humor; the works. In 8th grade, we were never extremely close due to being separated in the school, but a lot went on with her. She was extremely depressed, and she cut herself practically everyday for a long time. I believe her mom started her on therapy after she found out, but I'm not exactly sure when (she doesnt talk about this time in her life much, for obvious reasons). During the summer after 8th grade and into freshman year, she had her first true boyfriend. When he dumped her shortly into our freshman year, she was a complete mess, and she went back to cutting and feeling suicidal. This is when I started to get closer to her. I don't mean to sound over confident, but I was a REALLY good friend. She was an extremely secretive person, she always has been and always will be, but i tried my best to break her shell. I like to think I'm one of the few people that really got to her, and from what she has said, I definitely was. I was there for her all the time, I couldn't have been a better friend if I had tried. I really tried to care for her, because well, she was becoming my best friend. It's only natural. Her sadness seemed to last most of our freshman year, though she did stop cutting and she imporved slightly. I'm still not exactly sure how depressed she really was throughout the entire school year, since she kept a lot to herself, but I know she was NEVER perfectly fine. Over this past summer, she improved a lot. We went on a lot of religious retreats together, since we're involved in the same church program. She even admitted that I was her "jesus" figure in her life (not to get religious on everybody). In saying that she meant i basically saved her. But then she met her current boyfriend.
One thing I failed to mention is that my friend and I fight- A LOT. We've always gotten into little tiffs and arguements, its just our nature. But we've always, ALWAYS come back to each other. A lot of things were effected by her depression though, which caused us to butt heads a lot. There are a lot of scars on our friendship, but we've always held on. There's too much to let go of. Well, that's at least how I always used to feel.
When my best friend met her current boyfriend, I already knew it was going to be trouble. I'f heard things about him, and he was pretty well-known to be a..not so great guy. But I figured I'd at least give him the benefit of the doubt, and see for myself. As their relationship grew, I was not impressed. He was moody and rather unfaithful, and he had a really angry side to him. He also was into drinking a lot. At first I think he was even going to use my best friend, though I'm not entirely sure. One thing about my best friend though, is she has always been a little too desperate for a boy. I don't mean that to sound mean, but she just really feels as if she needs that affection.
This year, my sophomore year, he has caused more trouble in my life, my best friends life, and literally everybody's life, than anyone ever has. He has brought drama, extreme annoyance, and just plain stupid shit into our lives, especially mine. I gave him several chances to be nice to me, and I started being his friend on a few occasions. It has never worked, and the first time he went as far as to blame me for not getting enough time with my best friend, telling me im self-centered and selfish, its always been about me, and he just verbally abused me.
Let me tell you now, I have severe depression this year. Personally, I think it's worse than my best friend ever had, and it really controls my life. My best friend is the only one I really feel comfortable talking to about it. I need her a lot, just like she needed me.
So here this guy is telling me I'm selfish, when I need my best friend? What the hell is that? He's the one who came into this friendship randomly and screwed it up. I was here first, to put it bluntly.
But still, I gave him another chance, and he screwed it up again. A lot of stuff went down between me and my best friend ever since he came into the picture, since she kinda started neglecting me because of him. I'm not gonna explain that all though. But basically, just recently, he told my best friend not to be friends with me anymore. And it gets worse. This guy had told me loads of things about my best friend in the little time i was actually okay with him. He said, "I could never marry her" and "She bitches at me" and stuff like "Oh I'm not gonna be with her forever" and how he wants his "future relationships" to be. Well...according to my best friend, she was gonna be with this guy "FOREVER". She wants to marry him and everything...apparently he wasnt on the same page. So I told my friend EVERYTHING. She started crying of course, but she had to know. So like I said, he had told my friend to stop being friends with me, and he had verbally abused me too. He called me a lesbian, because apparently I cling to her too much. He also accused me of "flirting" with her, and "being all over her". Apparently I can't be best friends with anyone without it being a lesbian relationship. Yeah that totally makes sense (IM AS STRAIGHT AS A POLE.) This was freaking bullshit.
But you know what? This caused a massive fight between me and my friend and everything, and she forgave him. Even after he said all that shit to me, spread the lesbian thing to other people, and treated me like just plain CRAP, when all i did was allow him to completely steal my best friend away from me. And she FORGAVE HIM. Theyre completely normal again. THAT made me really angry.
But the thing is, I love my best friend more than anything in the world! We have this friendship that can't be broken. I know all high schoolers say things like this, but you really have no idea. We basically live off of each other. Both of us are crushed whenever we fight, and we really can't stand it. We truly do need eachother, and we can't just forget everything.
But lately, I've just been feeling really shitty. Like, I would do anything for my best friend, literally I'd die for her and all that. But her and her boyfriend have literally hurt me so bad...I kinda want to give up on her. I would never EVER let one of my boyfriends treat her like that and just forget it, there's no way in hell! I would've dumped his ass a looonnngg time ago, that is just not something you put up with. But she just doesn't see it that way. She "loves" him and he said he'll "change" for her. Now we all know that a 17 year old asshole will not do that any time soon. It's just the truth. And I just don't know what to do because I feel so hurt that I just want to let go of her, and let the friendship die and just leave it be. But for some reason i CANT. Like i literally can't. I've tested it before, and it hurts..a lot. Because like I said, I need her. I just wish there was something I could do.
Anyone have any ideas? I know this was a lot, but it's an important issue to me, and it really does hurt.