How can I gain my mom's trust back?

    • How can I gain my mom's trust back?

      About 4 weeks ago I got caught sneaking out. My mom was really mad, but she didn't say much. This was the first thing. Then, about a week later, I told her I was going to the movies. She's the kind of mom that will look up the movie and like calculate the time it's over then be there 15 minutes before it's over. So right about the time she pulled up, I was getting out of a white truck with my friends, and there was rap music blasting. She was in the car behind us. After I got home she got really mad and grounded me for a couple weeks. Then a few days later, she read all my journals and all the notes that me and my friends write. They said some pretty bad stuff. Like stuff about sex, drugs, alcohol, and other things. So she searched my room while I was at school and she found thongs (which I'm not supposed to be wearing) and the worst part is she found a pregnancy test in my bathroom trash can. When I got home she told me that she knew I was having sex, and she had a talk with my boyfriend next time he came over. A couple days later, I asked if I could go to my friends house, and she said "No I can't trust you anymore. I feel like I don't even know you anymore" and that hit me hard. It made me feel horrible. I need to gain her trust back, how can I do that. I know it will take time. Oh yeah and the stupid pregnancy test wasn't even mine, it was my sister's. But she denied it and my mom believed her because as she said she trusts my sister 100% and she trusts me 0%.
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      The post was edited 1 time, last by mizzmarisol ().

    • Re: How can I gain my mom's trust back?

      That's a bit tough for believing you but I get where she's coming from cause of all that other evidence to suggest not being trustworthy. However, it was wrong of her to search your stuff while you're at school. It's your private stuff!

      Perhaps try to negotiate with her about some things and ask if keeping her updated and being honest about what you did that day or where you're going to go, will help to re-establish that trust back. Tell her how you feel as well and listen to what she has to say too.

      Hope this helps

    • Re: How can I gain my mom's trust back?

      I think we've all been through a situation where our parents didn't trust us for a while at one point or another. Theres not really much you can do, just prove yourself to her. Try to help out around the house more, don't bother her or try to start arguments, just prove to her that you're more responsible and you feel bad about lying to her. After a little bit of trying to help out around the house, ask if you guys can have a serious conversation. Just apologize for what you did, and tell her that you were being stupid and you won't lie again. If the conversation seems to go well, in a few days ask if you can go to your friends house again. Try with something small first, so you can prove that you can handle a small responsibility.




      “We've all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That's who we really are.”
      -J.K. Rowling

    • Re: How can I gain my mom's trust back?

      You have been a very naughty girl. In my country we would do things to you for this.




      But in all seriousness, learn from this and be more careful next time. Its not ok for your mom to be searching your stuff, but its also not really OK for you to be doing drugs and alcohol. If you going to do this kind of stuff, for god sake don't write it down! And if you absolutely must hide it well, not someplace your mom would look. Same goes for your pregnancy tests. For now, just lay low and don't do anything to arouse suspicion. In a month or two have a talk with your Mom, and hopefully you've earned her trust back.
      Unfortunately my producer Azamat Bagatov could not make entry to your country because of sex crime problem. But it has been resolved now, because the horse was above the age of consent.

      The post was edited 1 time, last by bad news ().

    • Re: How can I gain my mom's trust back?

      bad news wrote:

      but its also not really OK for you to be doing drugs and alcohol.


      I don't think she was asking for justification for what she did, or opinions on it. She did what she did, and thats besides the issue right now.

      bad news wrote:

      Same goes for your pregnancy tests.


      Did you even read what she said?


      mizzmarisol wrote:

      Oh yeah and the stupid pregnancy test wasn't even mine, it was my sister's. But she denied it and my mom believed her because as she said she trusts my sister 100% and she trusts me 0%.




      “We've all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That's who we really are.”
      -J.K. Rowling

    • Re: How can I gain my mom's trust back?

      Linda wrote:

      I don't think she was asking for justification for what she did, or opinions on it. She did what she did, and thats besides the issue right now.


      I didn't say she was. She probably wasn't asking for a picture of borat either. I know I sound like a total dick telling her that doing drugs and drinking alcohal was probably a bad idea (something unheard of now days), but she lost her mom's trust for a reason.



      Did you even read what she said?
      Probably not a good idea to be having ANY pregnancy tests lying around the house, even if they do belong to her "trusted" sister. Especially right after her mom read about her doing drugs and having sex. I guess I shouldn't have assumed it was hers, but who has sex and then doesn't take any pregnancy tests? I'm sorry that I'm the one that has to say this, but "mizzmarisol" didn't exactly think before she acted. Doing stupid stuff, writing about it, and leaving it in your room for your mom to find wasn't very smart. She did something stupid, and she sounds like she doesn't even want to take responsibility for it, she just wants to find the quickest and easiest way out so she can go back to doing it again. One of the reasons I f*ckin hate the modern teenager. I know that makes me sound like a total nerd because it is cool do do that stuff. I guess I was just dropped on my head when I was a baby or something. I just don't know why its so cool to be doing that stuff. But whatever. Rant off, before more "cool people" rush to the OP's defense.
      Unfortunately my producer Azamat Bagatov could not make entry to your country because of sex crime problem. But it has been resolved now, because the horse was above the age of consent.

      The post was edited 4 times, last by bad news ().

    • Re: How can I gain my mom's trust back?

      One of the reasons I f*ckin hate the modern teenager. I know that makes me sound like a total nerd because it is cool do do that stuff. I guess I was just dropped on my head when I was a baby or something. I just don't know why its so cool to be doing that stuff. But whatever. Rant off, before more "cool people" rush to the OP's defense.


      I never said it was cool. The reson why I did that stuff was cuz I thought it was the only way I could solve my problems. I know that I was wrong now. I'm not saying I won't ever pick up another beer. I'm just clarifying that I never said it was cool or anything close to that.
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    • Re: How can I gain my mom's trust back?

      bad news wrote:

      but who has sex and then doesn't take any pregnancy tests?


      People who use condoms, and birth control? But even then things can happen, like the condom can break, or you may miss a pill.

      bad news wrote:

      I'm sorry that I'm the one that has to say this, but "mizzmarisol" didn't exactly think before she acted. Doing stupid stuff, writing about it, and leaving it in your room for your mom to find wasn't very smart. She did something stupid, and she sounds like she doesn't even want to take responsibility for it, she just wants to find the quickest and easiest way out so she can go back to doing it again.


      How do you know if she did or didn't think? You don't. Who are you to judge her decisions on if they were "wise" or not? You're no one. I'm sure you've made mistakes in your life, even if they're not mirroring hers. However, you don't have the right to judge her, and say her decisions are stupid and how irresponsible she is. Like I said before, she wasn't asking for you to call her decisions stupid, she was asking for help on how to get her mom to trust her again, which is the responsible thing to do. You don't know what shes going to do once her mom trusts her again, and I really think you should stay out of trying to give people advice for your own good, or at least until you stop judging so quickly.




      “We've all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That's who we really are.”
      -J.K. Rowling

    • Re: How can I gain my mom's trust back?

      this might sound weird but stay home for a couple weeks, spend quality time with your mother. parent's trust isn't hard to get back, specially since most parents want to trust their children. after a while you could shit on her pillow and get away with it. don't be afraid to get close to your mom. and in the future be more sneaky to avoid this situation.
      [FONT="System"][SIZE="4"]I find it funny that thing that built me up,
      is the same thing that broke me down.[/SIZE][/FONT]

    • Re: How can I gain my mom's trust back?

      well the best thing to do is not do thing behind your mum's back i.e. saying your going the cinemas when in actual fact your going taking drugs and drinking. just say your going with friends when she allows you again. i doubt your mum will ever forget the incident though so expect your mum to be carsious around you.

      and if your going to take a pregnacy test, make sure you get rid of it away from where your mum can just find it, and don't expect people not to read your jurnal, always have the feeling people wont respect your privicy, meaning find a place they will never find or dont have one, especialy with a lot of infomation someone like your mum wouldnt want to read if she found it.
      never underestimate the power of a sick mind :D
      [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
      The emperor protects

    • Re: How can I gain my mom's trust back?

      deno70 wrote:


      and if your going to take a pregnacy test, make sure you get rid of it away from where your mum can just find it


      mizzmarisol wrote:

      Oh yeah and the stupid pregnancy test wasn't even mine, it was my sister's. But she denied it and my mom believed her because as she said she trusts my sister 100% and she trusts me 0%.


      ........




      “We've all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That's who we really are.”
      -J.K. Rowling

    • Re: How can I gain my mom's trust back?

      Linda wrote:

      People who use condoms, and birth control? But even then things can happen, like the condom can break, or you may miss a pill.


      Exactly. We don't know this girl's story at all.

      How do you know if she did or didn't think? You don't. Who are you to judge her decisions on if they were "wise" or not? You're no one. I'm sure you've made mistakes in your life, even if they're not mirroring hers. However, you don't have the right to judge her, and say her decisions are stupid and how irresponsible she is.


      And why not? Am I not allowed an opinion? Yes, I've made mistakes, and most of the time I've manned up to them. She isn't. She's looking for the easiest way out so she can do them again, and you're helping her.

      Like I said before, she wasn't asking for you to call her decisions stupid, she was asking for help on how to get her mom to trust her again, which is the responsible thing to do. You don't know what shes going to do once her mom trusts her again, and I really think you should stay out of trying to give people advice for your own good, or at least until you stop judging so quickly.


      My mistake. Next time I'll try to think of all the positive things that can come from reckless drug and alcohol use, and even give her a nice pat on the back, because that's what she deserves.
      Unfortunately my producer Azamat Bagatov could not make entry to your country because of sex crime problem. But it has been resolved now, because the horse was above the age of consent.

    • Re: How can I gain my mom's trust back?

      bad news wrote:

      And why not? Am I not allowed an opinion? Yes, I've made mistakes, and most of the time I've manned up to them. She isn't. She's looking for the easiest way out so she can do them again, and you're helping her.


      An opinion yes, but you're not only judging her, but making assumptions about her life. Me giving her opinions on how to get her mom to trust her isn't helping her get the easy way out. Its what I would do in that situation, because I know how it feels for one of your parents to not be able to trust you.


      bad news wrote:

      My mistake. Next time I'll try to think of all the positive things that can come from reckless drug and alcohol use, and even give her a nice pat on the back, because that's what she deserves.


      How was this reckless? She didn't drive, kill anyone, or endanger any lives. Learn what reckless means before you use it. You're making this seem like she drove high/drunk and killed someone.

      Anyways, I'm done replying back to you. You clearly don't understand that not EVERYONE is 100% perfect.




      “We've all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That's who we really are.”
      -J.K. Rowling

    • Re: How can I gain my mom's trust back?

      Linda wrote:

      An opinion yes, but you're not only judging her, but making assumptions about her life. Me giving her opinions on how to get her mom to trust her isn't helping her get the easy way out. Its what I would do in that situation, because I know how it feels for one of your parents to not be able to trust you.


      Yet you don't know how a parent feels when one of their kids goes off, has sex, drinks, and does drugs behind their back.


      How was this reckless? She didn't drive, kill anyone, or endanger any lives. Learn what reckless means before you use it. You're making this seem like she drove high/drunk and killed someone.
      Not this time.

      Anyways, I'm done replying back to you. You clearly don't understand that not EVERYONE is 100% perfect.
      Now you're making assumptions about me. How ironic. I don't want anyone to be perfect, I just don't give people the reassurance they desire when they act like a total dumbass, despite how "cool" what they did was.
      Unfortunately my producer Azamat Bagatov could not make entry to your country because of sex crime problem. But it has been resolved now, because the horse was above the age of consent.

    • Re: How can I gain my mom's trust back?

      Just be good to your mom from now on and like what they say, talk to her and let her know how sorry you are. After all, your mom is kind of a good mom before everything happened so there's hope that she'll realize that you're trying to change and make up for the things you did. Like what Linda said, try and show her you're being responsible now. Also you still seem a good kid to her..feeling sorry for everything and realizing how bad you made her feel, so keep that as a reminder to keep you going for the good change.

    • Re: How can I gain my mom's trust back?

      I've been there where a parent doesn't trust you. Right now, the best thing you can do is prove yourself to your mom. Help around the house, like the other person said. And spend quality time, and don't bring up an argument. Then, when you start gaining a little bit of trust back talk to her about everything that happened. Try to explain yourself because what your mom did to search your room isn't really right & as one of her daughters, you deserve way better than that to have your own privacy is something you should talk to your mom about, and just try & make sure nothing can stand in the way of your- daughter, mother relationship.