I have absolutely no idea what to do right now.

    • I have absolutely no idea what to do right now.

      Friday night I was out with a few friends.
      2 guys, one girl plus me (guy). One guy I've known for 6 years, we've been best friends but lately we've been having issues similar to that of the story. Other guy I have met once before at a party, we were fairly chill. Girl I have liked a lot for almost a year, have helped her with cutting, have always been available to talk when she needed it, always up to give her a ride even if it's far away, etc.

      We were just chilling and my 6 year friend and female friend went to grab something (we were getting some ecstasy for a friend and for us, trying to find the person). I then asked the other guy if, and I quote myself to the best of memory, 'If you don't mind, could you lay off (Girl) a bit? Cause I like her a lot. If you really want to thats fine I don't care, but yeah'. A bit selfish I know, but I was planning to ask her out today or monday. He seemed chill about it, he said 'Sure, I'll try' and that was that. We had a pretty good night and all was well. I went way out of my way to give her a ride home too, and got her home when she needed to even if it cut my night short.

      Skip to tomorrow, my 6-year friend bitched me out for what I said to other guy. Fair enough. He said that I acted like I owned her. Not at all true, nor was it my intentions. My guess is that he didn't hear EXACTLY what I said and therefore didn't hear the part about me being okay with it if other guy really wanted to.

      Anyways. He then pulled an insanely dick move and told the girl. She, having heard what I assume was an eschewed version of what I said, got really, really pissed at me. He also told her that I like her. Now she's beyond pissed at me. She won't even let me talk to her and tell her my side of the story, won't even hear out my apologies.

      I don't know what the fuck to do. These guys are my closest friends, and now they're both against me. And my plans to ask her out are completely gone thanks to one thing I said that was misinterpreted. I'm really pissed, depressed and confused right now. The girl I am completely infatuated with hates me, my best friend is against me, and I just don't know what I can do.

      The post was edited 2 times, last by IG75 ().

    • Re: I have absolutely no idea what to do right now.

      If I were you, I would try talking to the friend that lied to her. Tell him that not only did he cause issues between you two, but also between you and the girl that you like. If he doesn't want to listen, I suggest you try to explain one last time to the girl, maybe in a facebook message. Tell her your side of things, and to soften it up a bit, tell her about your plans on asking her out. If she doesn't forgive you, you might just need to give it some time. She might need to cool off, as girls hold grudges longer then guys. Speaking of that, I have a feeling your guy friends will lighten up within the next few days. From my experience, they're usually not good with being mad at someone for to long.




      “We've all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That's who we really are.”
      -J.K. Rowling

    • Re: I have absolutely no idea what to do right now.

      Me and him have been fairly rocky recently. This isn't the first time I or him have been pissed at each other. And I'm 100% sure he knows the issues he caused.

      Every time I try to talk to her she tells me to stop bothering her. I'm going to wait a bit. we have an English project together (group of 3, not just us) so that might help make things more civil.

    • Re: I have absolutely no idea what to do right now.

      Try talking to the first guy, the one you told to lay off of the girl. Maybe you could ask him what he said to your friend, if he did misinterpret what you meant, maybe he could help fix things. If anything, it's worth a shot since you say you two are fairly chill. Since he inadvertently caused this whole mess, he could help fix things. Otherwise, your best bet would be to try getting your best friend to talk to you again, because at the current moment, I doubt you're going to get much of a chance to talk to the girl for now. Give a couple days before trying anything so they can have time to clear their heads out and be more rational if you talk to them.
      Hope things work out :)

    • Re: I have absolutely no idea what to do right now.

      1. You should not have said something.
      2. He should not have told your long-term friend.
      3. Your long-term friend should not have told her.
      4. I have no idea why she is mad about it...

      Personally, I think they are making a big deal out of nothing. Do you think that either your long-term friend or your new friend could like the girl, therefore distorting it?

    • Re: I have absolutely no idea what to do right now.

      the new friend is certainly attracted to her, I don't know if it's a serious 'like' though.
      the 6-year friend has a girlfriend that he is very loyal to and I don't doubt him one bit when it comes to that.
      yes, I think it's a big deal of nothing too.


      I'll try to get in contact with the new friend, I never got his numb.

    • Re: I have absolutely no idea what to do right now.

      I've tried apologising to everyone so far. My friend of 6 years said 'It doesnt cover it', and the female friend doesn't even acknowledge it, just says she doesn't want to talk to me. I'm really trying to show them how I feel and that I know I've done wrong, they just won't accept it yet.

      E: Except the guy I can't get in contact with, of course.

      The post was edited 1 time, last by IG75 ().

    • Re: I have absolutely no idea what to do right now.

      Well I sent her a fbook message, I know I should have waited but it all had to be said. Here's a copy for you all to read.




      'I'm just feeling really terrible right now and like a huge dick, because I know I fucked up big time and I know I keep fucking up. All I'm trying to say is that I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I'm not going to keep bothering you with this because I know you're tired of hearing it, I'll just go with the flow, but I need to say this all. I know it won't change much but please just believe me when I say I'm sorry. I wasted a friendship, an amazing friendship, and you never realise how much something means to you until it's at its worst. I'm not asking for forgiveness, or anything like that. I'm offering my apologies, and that's it.'

    • Re: I have absolutely no idea what to do right now.

      Well you've said what's to be said. Time heals all wounds m8, and if she doesn't accept that now, I think she will later.

      ...But I really don't see why she is THIS pissed off at you. You didn't really do anything too wrong..
      [CENTER]To the dumb question, 'Why me?' the cosmos barely bothers to return the reply, 'Why not?[/CENTER]
      [CENTER]Hitchens[/CENTER]

    • Re: I have absolutely no idea what to do right now.

      Yep for sure. I also said
      'I'll see you tomorrow because I figure you don't want to talk to me right now. If so text me, I guess.'

      She hasn't taken me up on the offer yet. So I have no idea.
      E: She's gone to bed (she has climbing early morning tomorrow). So I'll let you all know tomorrow.

      The post was edited 1 time, last by IG75 ().

    • Re: I have absolutely no idea what to do right now.

      alright, update as requested.

      She told another mutual friend about it (who I've already told) and the mutual friend says that she told her not to tell me what she said, but that it wasn't THAT bad. I trust said mutual friend, me and her are a little closer than her and female friend.

      Still not talking to me unless necessary though.



      Also, I'd really like some more female perspectives. Because I don't see why she's THIS angry, and I'd like a balance of people giving me insight. Not to say that I don't appreciate any advice or input.

      The post was edited 5 times, last by IG75 ().

    • Re: I have absolutely no idea what to do right now.

      You never know yo, maybe she actually liked this guy you were telling to slightly back off, and hearing the eschewed version of the story set her off. Either that or the eschewed version of the story made you look like such a total dick that if by some chance she liked you, she feels really hurt by what seems to be the fact that you're not what you seemed to be to her.

      I'll tell you this though yo......in the future, as much as every bro likes to think that the rule of "bros before hos" will never be broken, don't ever tell another guy to back down if you two both seem to like a chick, it'll only make her seem (to that guy) like a trophy that must be won. He might have come up with this plot on his own just to make you look bad to get the girl, possibly telling your long time friend that eschewed version of the story to fuel the fire between you, him, and that girl.

      As for apologizing like you did on Facebook, that was a big no-no yo. It in a way made you look a tad spineless and a flip-flopper by saying things like you "wasted" the friendship. She'd probably have given you a chance to tell your side eventually if she realized that you were 100% confident with your story, now this just looks like you really were that supposed dick your friends were trying to make you out to be. And if all else failed yo, and she never talked to you again by some chance, you could have had solace in the fact that you didn't bend to anyone's whim and were true to yourself.

      I would have simply apologized for the misunderstood situation and told her exactly how it went down. It's too late now though, so all you can do is adapt to what's happened and try to give a better impression of yourself to her. Also, think about it too, another possibility as to why she might have been pissed may have to do with the fact that you didn't tell her how you felt.

      What did she exactly did she tell the mutual friend, if you don't mind me asking? Because you might still have a shot of fixing things depending on her reaction to it yo

    • Re: I have absolutely no idea what to do right now.

      I don't know, the mutual friend told me that she said not to tell me what she said.

      Yeah I know the facebook move was spineless lol. I tend to lack a backbone when I am apologizing. I was afraid that it would seem that I'm trying to make excuses if I told her the situation from my view.

      She's only met him like, twice, and he's not (in my opinion) overly attractive, so idk.

      I'll definitely avoid pulling that in the future.
      [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
      ^lolselfpictureinbathroommirror

    • Re: I have absolutely no idea what to do right now.

      Alright, update. Sorry for double post.

      She fbook'd me and said this:
      'look, i did over react, i've just had so much build up, it over flowed when that happend. Im sorry i dont know what to tell you, im not sure im too ready to forgive. but this is a step forward talking to you.'

      and we had a convo about that, later on she said
      'i understand why you did, and im sorry it made you feel aweful ( flirting with him)'


      So basically she's apologizing to me for overreacting, but saying she doesn't think she's ready to forgive me. Um, I guess good news?
      [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
      ^lolselfpictureinbathroommirror