Me and my girlfriend have been going out for about a month now. This is the third time we've gone out with each other (we broke up twice before, but have got back together.)
First off a confession, the two times we split up, the reason we did so was that I cheated on her.
I'm not proud of what I did. The first time I slept with someone she knew when I was at a party. She found out and broke up with me. We got back together, and after going out for about 6 months, another girl I knew started flirting with me, and we ended up sleeping together a few times. However, one of the times, the condom split and she ended up getting pregnant. At this point, she told my girlfriend about us, and me and my girlfriend split up again.
We didn't talk again really for a few months, and she was rightly angry with me. However, a while back we started talking again, I convinced her I genuinely was sorry about what I'd done, and that I still loved her. She's took me back, and we've been going out for about a month now.
I explained all this because I need to admit I do have a bad history, I want to say this isn't me complaining about her, I understand completely why she may not trust me totally. She's been very paranoid that I'm going to cheat on her again, making me delete numbers of girls on my phone and telling me she doesnt want me talking to certain people. While the two times before me hugging other girls didnt bother her (like I don't mind when she hugs her friends) but I've had to stop that now as it upsets her. It's not reasonable though for me to delete all the numbers of other girls, I do need to talk to my friends. It just bothers me how little she does seem to trust me.
I want to ask, how long do people think it'll take for her to start to trust me again, and will she ever trust me? Any ideas for how I can make her trust me more (its difficult to prove I'm never going to cheat)? if you were in her position, what'd you want me to do to show you I'm not going to cheat again? Also, my reluctance to delet all the numbers she wants has only added to her suspicion, so any help with that would also be appreciated. I can understand why she would want me to delete to numbers of certain people (such as the ones I had previously cheated on her with) but its not practical for me to delete everyones number. Do you think I should just go along with it for now though, or should argue from the start about not wanting to get rid of every number.
It doesn't help aswell that her friends are constantly reminding her about my past. They seem to be constantly trying to convince her that I will cheat again. I'm sure think they're helping her and stopping her from getting hurt, but I'm not going to cheat again, I am going to remain faithful. I want to get it right this time, but they're not helping.
Sorry that was so long. I just want to re-ittirate again, this isn't me complaining about the way she's acting, as I completely understand it. What I did to her before was horrible, but I have changed, and I am sorry about what I did. While I can't prove that to you, when giving advice could you assume that I have changed and am just trying to start making things right (When asking for advice on another forum it just turned into an attack on me about the way I behaved before and how "there's no way you really love her" etc.)
Thanks in adavance for any advice.
First off a confession, the two times we split up, the reason we did so was that I cheated on her.
I'm not proud of what I did. The first time I slept with someone she knew when I was at a party. She found out and broke up with me. We got back together, and after going out for about 6 months, another girl I knew started flirting with me, and we ended up sleeping together a few times. However, one of the times, the condom split and she ended up getting pregnant. At this point, she told my girlfriend about us, and me and my girlfriend split up again.
We didn't talk again really for a few months, and she was rightly angry with me. However, a while back we started talking again, I convinced her I genuinely was sorry about what I'd done, and that I still loved her. She's took me back, and we've been going out for about a month now.
I explained all this because I need to admit I do have a bad history, I want to say this isn't me complaining about her, I understand completely why she may not trust me totally. She's been very paranoid that I'm going to cheat on her again, making me delete numbers of girls on my phone and telling me she doesnt want me talking to certain people. While the two times before me hugging other girls didnt bother her (like I don't mind when she hugs her friends) but I've had to stop that now as it upsets her. It's not reasonable though for me to delete all the numbers of other girls, I do need to talk to my friends. It just bothers me how little she does seem to trust me.
I want to ask, how long do people think it'll take for her to start to trust me again, and will she ever trust me? Any ideas for how I can make her trust me more (its difficult to prove I'm never going to cheat)? if you were in her position, what'd you want me to do to show you I'm not going to cheat again? Also, my reluctance to delet all the numbers she wants has only added to her suspicion, so any help with that would also be appreciated. I can understand why she would want me to delete to numbers of certain people (such as the ones I had previously cheated on her with) but its not practical for me to delete everyones number. Do you think I should just go along with it for now though, or should argue from the start about not wanting to get rid of every number.
It doesn't help aswell that her friends are constantly reminding her about my past. They seem to be constantly trying to convince her that I will cheat again. I'm sure think they're helping her and stopping her from getting hurt, but I'm not going to cheat again, I am going to remain faithful. I want to get it right this time, but they're not helping.
Sorry that was so long. I just want to re-ittirate again, this isn't me complaining about the way she's acting, as I completely understand it. What I did to her before was horrible, but I have changed, and I am sorry about what I did. While I can't prove that to you, when giving advice could you assume that I have changed and am just trying to start making things right (When asking for advice on another forum it just turned into an attack on me about the way I behaved before and how "there's no way you really love her" etc.)
Thanks in adavance for any advice.