she broke up. i want her back.

    • she broke up. i want her back.

      hello folks.
      i'm M, from bangladesh. this is my first post.

      this seems to be a nice place for sharing my disastrous problem. i sincerely hope that u guys understand my position and help me out.

      im currently going thru a breakup for 2+ months. started going out with her almost a year and half back. we were frends for a few months b4 that and i had asked her out.

      at that time ... i was in grade nine and she was in grade ten. she was due to sit for her GCE o levels in may/june 2009. even tho some of our frends protested, we still decided to go out anyway. it was a dream. we both loved each other. implicitly trusted each other. shared both our innermost secrets. talked on the fone for hours. we both fought our own families when they got to know abt us and advised us to break up. both of us, although teenagers, had plans to go for a long-term relationship because of our excellent compatibility.

      our relationship went on for almost 16 months like this. no hitch, no problems we couldnt tackle together. but then, one fine day 2 months , shbacke told me she had no future with me and decided to break up. i didnt protest even though i was heartbroken.

      just to inform u guys, i am currently 18 and she is a year younger than me even though she studies a grade higher. i am currently sitting for my GCE o levels while she is taking her AS level exams.

      her parents are really touchy abt the age issue. they wudnt like their daughter to be with a guy who was less than 3 years her senior, much less a junior guy. on the contrary, my parents are pretty flexible even though they do not encourage me to seek a relation at this age.

      folks ... i am facing dire straits. life is pretty much shit. not a day goes that i cant think abt her. i know (from talking to her occasionally) that she feels the same. she still loves me a lot. so do i. even then ... she doesnt want to pursue the relation anymore at this moment. she is NOT cheating on me. trust me, i know :)

      what do i do at this point ? please advise me !
      thanks
      M
    • Re: she broke up. i want her back.

      Hey M,

      So, let me get this right - you are currently 18 and the girl in question is 17, yes? If that's the case, personally, I see nothing wrong with that. It's only a year - it could be a much wider age gap. You also say, she does not wish to persue the relationship at the moment? Well, if I were you - I'd respect that, though by the sounds of things, you already are.

      Maybe you should talk to her about the relationship - maybe you could be together secretly for a while? Or, you could both discuss the situation to both your parents, and hers, and tell them exactly how it is?
      Regardless of what you do, I think you have something worth keeping and fighting for. Just be patient with the situation and I'm sure things will work out for you both.

      Good luck!
    • Re: she broke up. i want her back.

      thanks a bunch, SimpleGirl !

      yes, abt the age thing, you are correct. but the problem is that she's a grade above me and will be graduating a year before me, will get into uni a year before me ... the list goes on.

      these sorts of things become inconsequential as more time passes (like when u are in ur mid 20s and have a job and stuff) but she doesnt seem to see the point.
      i have full respect for her decision though. i never pressured her to do anything and, in this case too, have not forced her at all. it's up to her if she wants to ditch me and be down abt it.

      it's screwed me up though. not outwardly ... but im having one of the most turbulent times of my life in terms of emotions. now i know when someone quoted : You never know what's gone 'till its gone.

      :)
    • Re: she broke up. i want her back.

      That's a true saying, very true.

      Maybe now, you should take some time out for yourself? You're, I imagine, feeling depressed, heartbroken, upset, unmotivated, the list can go on when it comes to dealing with issues of the heart, I guess. So, maybe because of the way you're feeling right now - you should take some time for yourself and instead of questioning her on things. Question yourself. What do you want? Time? Space? A new start with someone else? Do you want to fight for it all? Could be alot to consider - but you have time on your side to help you come up with the answer.

      Take care!