I don't understand...

    • I don't understand...

      Hi, first post, I registered for this site because I feel like a loser and I need some guidance.

      I am an 18 year old male, going to be 19 in two months. I am still a virgin, I have never had a girlfriend for more then 3 days, and only kissed one girl.

      This type of thread has probably been seen a thousand times before, and I am expecting the copy/paste 'it will come when it comes'.

      I don't understand what to do with my life and chicks...at all..I am a full time computer technician, I make pretty decent pay overall, I drive a completely done-out Green 92 civic Si and it is the nicest car out of any guy in my age group around my town. I know everyone, young or old, you have met me before and probably liked me. I only make friends not enemies, I can make anyone laugh eventually, and I'm only going to talk about something if I know about it, instead of making shit up.

      Every chick I have met likes me and enjoys hanging out, I am mainly in with the stoner crowd as I have a connection to every type of drug out there.

      I've always been a bigger guy so for the last 5 months I have worked my ass off to lose 74 lbs of weight and 6" off my waist. This was utterly fucking pointless as my body is covered in disgusting stretch marks from my previous fattiness. I'm still pretty big too, while every other fucking guy is skinny as hell with ripped abs..all my friends are jacked


      I guess I can't really blame a girl for not wanting to touch me, I am just a nice guy with a nice car, I can look down my road left or right and see ten single guys who like 10x better then I do in my town, so what chance do I have?

      I just don't know what I'm doing wrong...I try and approach chicks, the ones who don't laugh at me and like to chill get completely put off when I go for anything more then friendship (Not like touching her, like going for a coffee...)

      For a long time being a virgin never bothered me...hey theres always tommorrow, or maybe I will have a good night at a party sometime? Nope...I am out of high school now, I have lost my teenage love life years in the gutter...and now as I become an adult I see what I lost.

      I live with my two best friends, a 18 yr old guy and 17 yr old girl. Spending time with them is one of the few things that keeps me happy...it is just hard because they are the best couple you could ever see. Being able to have someone to hold...or hug and kiss even when everything in your life is shit.

      I know it is just sex, and I know it is just dating, they say you will go through 5-10 'loves' before finding the love of your life, but if I can't even get a girl to touch or kiss me...how can I hope for something like a relationship.

      Sorry for the huge wall of text post...I just needed to vent...being a virgin while everyone around me enjoys this amazing thing called love is destroying me...I can't enjoy my job or my car, and getting high isn't 1/10th the feeling of having a girl smile at me...even if she doesnt like me

    • Re: I don't understand...

      Hey mate.

      I congratulate you on losing that weight. You seem down on yourself thought still, you probably dont have much self esteem im guessing.
      Chicks love it. Look at yourself for now, you're down on yourself. You need to work on loving yourself before loving another person.

      Just because you have a nice car doesnt mean youll get a girlfriend. Things like that wont get you far, if i girl just digs you because of your ride. Work on yourself and your personality. Looks arent everything, believe me. I felt exactly like you 2 years ago and now i wish i went back and didnt date until now.

      I hope you find your way.
      [CENTER][SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] [/CENTER]
      [CENTER] Cassie: Do you remember when you rode with me in the ambulance after I tried to kill myself?
      Jal      : Of course.
      Cassie      : That's what love feels like.      [SIZE=4][SIZE=3]
      ♥      [/SIZE]       [/SIZE]      [SIZE=4]I Love You Dylan[/SIZE][SIZE=4] [SIZE=3]♥[/SIZE][/SIZE][SIZE=1]
      [/SIZE]      [/CENTER]

    • Re: I don't understand...

      Thanks for the reply, I know material possesion's are meaningless when it comes to feelings and emotion. It's just ever since one day when a buddy mentioned something like

      "Honestly man with the ride you got, the cash you make and the shit u can get im surprised you aint got the hottest girl around"

      It makes me feel like I must have something pretty damn wrong with me If I can't even attract the gold diggers who would be trying to screw me over for my money, let alone an actual decent girl...

    • Re: I don't understand...

      Come on, you're fine.
      You're my age. It took me years to find someone like my boyfriend now.
      I went through alot of losers.. and pain
      [CENTER][SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] [/CENTER]
      [CENTER] Cassie: Do you remember when you rode with me in the ambulance after I tried to kill myself?
      Jal      : Of course.
      Cassie      : That's what love feels like.      [SIZE=4][SIZE=3]
      ♥      [/SIZE]       [/SIZE]      [SIZE=4]I Love You Dylan[/SIZE][SIZE=4] [SIZE=3]♥[/SIZE][/SIZE][SIZE=1]
      [/SIZE]      [/CENTER]

    • Re: I don't understand...

      Beavtownkid wrote:

      Hi, first post, I registered for this site because I feel like a loser and I need some guidance.

      I am an 18 year old male, going to be 19 in two months. I am still a virgin, I have never had a girlfriend for more then 3 days, and only kissed one girl.

      This type of thread has probably been seen a thousand times before, and I am expecting the copy/paste 'it will come when it comes'.

      I don't understand what to do with my life and chicks...at all..I am a full time computer technician, I make pretty decent pay overall, I drive a completely done-out Green 92 civic Si and it is the nicest car out of any guy in my age group around my town. I know everyone, young or old, you have met me before and probably liked me. I only make friends not enemies, I can make anyone laugh eventually, and I'm only going to talk about something if I know about it, instead of making shit up.

      Every chick I have met likes me and enjoys hanging out, I am mainly in with the stoner crowd as I have a connection to every type of drug out there.

      I've always been a bigger guy so for the last 5 months I have worked my ass off to lose 74 lbs of weight and 6" off my waist. This was utterly fucking pointless as my body is covered in disgusting stretch marks from my previous fattiness. I'm still pretty big too, while every other fucking guy is skinny as hell with ripped abs..all my friends are jacked


      I guess I can't really blame a girl for not wanting to touch me, I am just a nice guy with a nice car, I can look down my road left or right and see ten single guys who like 10x better then I do in my town, so what chance do I have?

      I just don't know what I'm doing wrong...I try and approach chicks, the ones who don't laugh at me and like to chill get completely put off when I go for anything more then friendship (Not like touching her, like going for a coffee...)

      For a long time being a virgin never bothered me...hey theres always tommorrow, or maybe I will have a good night at a party sometime? Nope...I am out of high school now, I have lost my teenage love life years in the gutter...and now as I become an adult I see what I lost.

      I live with my two best friends, a 18 yr old guy and 17 yr old girl. Spending time with them is one of the few things that keeps me happy...it is just hard because they are the best couple you could ever see. Being able to have someone to hold...or hug and kiss even when everything in your life is shit.

      I know it is just sex, and I know it is just dating, they say you will go through 5-10 'loves' before finding the love of your life, but if I can't even get a girl to touch or kiss me...how can I hope for something like a relationship.

      Sorry for the huge wall of text post...I just needed to vent...being a virgin while everyone around me enjoys this amazing thing called love is destroying me...I can't enjoy my job or my car, and getting high isn't 1/10th the feeling of having a girl smile at me...even if she doesnt like me


      Let's start with your personality. According to you, you don't have any special traits and are the average person with nothing in particular to offer that others can't. So... why not change that? Become something special, something unique, something nobody else is. Become a unique person, like nobody else is. Make yourself stand out, and be one of a kind. Right now you're a generic type of guy with some bad luck, just like a lot of people, but why not change that? In the end, what you do with yourself is completely up to you. Reinvent yourself, become somebody people are intrigued in. Now, after reading that, take a step back. First, the 'unique' person is already there, you just have to SHOW it. You have to show people your uniqueness. You're one of a kind, but you present yourself as the average Joe. People want the YOU inside of YOU, not the person half the people in the world are. Every person has their own special, but most people store it away and use only the safe, easy and generic substitute.

      As for the weight, what you did is big and you should feel damn proud for losing all of that weight. Instead of worrying about the stretch marks-which WILL in time disappear- why not praise yourself for accomplishing and maintaining something most people dream of. 74lbs is not a small feat by any standards, and you going that far just shows how determined you are to better yourself. It's great, really.

      Now, the sex. Look, believe it or not, most girls aren't willing to have sex before they're 18. Well, that's how it is where I live. Of course some people will do it earlier. Of course some people will have it more than once, with more than one person. But you can't be the best at everything, you can't always be part of the group of people who have had success. You just haven't had a lot of luck with females, which is understandable. I know you weren't looking for a generic answer, but in this case it's really the only thing that applies; you have to find the right person and work on it. Additionally, you shouldn't look at sex as something that you want to have because it feels good and other people have done it. Sex is always better when there's emotion and meaning behind it. A lot of people have sex earlier, but a majority of those people don't get much out of it- and are even faced with regret later on- because they jumped the gun and it had absolutely no meaning behind it. Just wait for it. As stupid and generic as it sounds, just wait for it. It will happen. If not tomorrow, then in a week; if not in a week, then in a month; if not in a month, then in a year; if not in a year, then in a few years. But it will come. Having a negative outlook on it all won't do you anything but extend the waiting period. Be proactive in finding a person whom you care deeply about, and if it's something both of you want it'll happen. If you just want meaningless sex however, get a prostitute. A condom will protect you from the diseases, and considering you have the financial means it wouldn't be hard at all. But you probably won't go out and find a prostitute. Why? Because it's outright worthless and will do nothing but fill you with regret. Now, that worthlessness is what most 16-year-olds feel, so don't feel bad you weren't one of those teenagers who banged the hot chick after school.

    • Re: I don't understand...

      The moral high road is often the lonely one.

      The only time I've ever seen the 'lower' area of a girl was when it was a 21 yr old hooker shoving 2 oxys up it she just bought off me, and it was enough to put me off those types, even though I have considered it.

      It just seems like the 16 year old 'cookie cutter' kids with twisted baseball caps and skate sneakers who steal cigarettes and bang the hot chick are feeling a lot happier in general then I am. I try to think about other things and enjoy life until she comes along, it just feels like every day gets longer and longer as people walk down the streets holding hands.

      Edit: Also, I don't feel like having sex because it 'feels good' or 'everyone else does it', I can't describe the exact feeling of it, but I would simply assume my horomones (and being sexually available but not active for 4 years since puberty), gives me a natural uhh drive towards wanting intercourse. Not trying to be a perv...

      The post was edited 1 time, last by Beavtownkid ().

    • Re: I don't understand...

      [CENTER][SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] [/CENTER]
      [CENTER] Cassie: Do you remember when you rode with me in the ambulance after I tried to kill myself?
      Jal      : Of course.
      Cassie      : That's what love feels like.      [SIZE=4][SIZE=3]
      ♥      [/SIZE]       [/SIZE]      [SIZE=4]I Love You Dylan[/SIZE][SIZE=4] [SIZE=3]♥[/SIZE][/SIZE][SIZE=1]
      [/SIZE]      [/CENTER]

    • Re: I don't understand...

      I don't know if this will make you feel any better but I think you look a bit like Robert Pattinson from the Twilight movies. And lots of girls think he's hot. :]

      Um, I think Cass Cass is right and that you really need to start loving yourself, before someone else will love you. Low self-esteem, can bring you down, and make you feel bad about yourself, and you then project that as your image. People naturally gravitate towards confident people, so when you are not confident, then people won't gravitate towards you.

      Work on yourself, and get back your self confidence first, and just really start to love yourself and who you are.

      When you do that, I'm sure you will find that a lot of people will gravitate towards you.

      Hope I helped a bit, and if you need anymore help or guidance, feel free to ask me :)

    • Re: I don't understand...

      I like the green car... but then I'm more into what it looks like than what it can do car wise as I'm a complete idiot when it comes to shit like speed or whatever else you guys like to drool over :')

      And you look like a decent guy to me, congrats on losing the weight too!! :)

      But you really do need to love yourself before you can love someone else. I know that sounds a little... text booky? but it's true, low self esteem shows :/ I don't think you need to build confidence, just build up more of a positive relationship with yourself :)
      :D I like Cupcakes. Pretty pretty cupcakes :D

    • Re: I don't understand...

      Thanks for all the positive responses guys, I am going to continue working out to lose weight and hopefully tone some muscle.

      I am also going to work on my self esteem..it just seems like everyone in the world could like me 'as a friend' and any compliment they give me could be a meaningless lie to make me feel better. Obviously they all aren't though :p

    • Re: I don't understand...

      Beavtownkid wrote:

      Thanks for posting cass...im the younger one obviously on far left if anyone cares to see what i look like..

      and to douche bag ripping on my car, post yours and see how it stands against the might civic si :wink:


      No problem

      sleeplessdays wrote:

      I don't know if this will make you feel any better but I think you look a bit like Robert Pattinson from the Twilight movies. And lots of girls think he's hot. :]

      Um, I think Cass Cass is right and that you really need to start loving yourself, before someone else will love you. Low self-esteem, can bring you down, and make you feel bad about yourself, and you then project that as your image. People naturally gravitate towards confident people, so when you are not confident, then people won't gravitate towards you.


      :) im always right
      [CENTER][SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] [/CENTER]
      [CENTER] Cassie: Do you remember when you rode with me in the ambulance after I tried to kill myself?
      Jal      : Of course.
      Cassie      : That's what love feels like.      [SIZE=4][SIZE=3]
      ♥      [/SIZE]       [/SIZE]      [SIZE=4]I Love You Dylan[/SIZE][SIZE=4] [SIZE=3]♥[/SIZE][/SIZE][SIZE=1]
      [/SIZE]      [/CENTER]