I told them to stop caring :/

    • I told them to stop caring :/

      So I have these two really close friends that have been helping me with my cutting but the other night things kinda got bad and over the past few days i've told them both to stop caring because I was fed up them having to sort me out every time I cut because it just didn't seem fair on either of them. So after telling them several times they decided they would leave me alone for two weeks. I lasted one night and i cut, really bad so i panicked because it wouldn't stop bleeding, but i didn't want to tell either of them because i thought they might get mad at me, they ended up figuring it out but didn't talk to me about it so it kinda made me feel worse although i told them to leave me alone :/ urghhh i really don't know what to do because i really need them but doing this might help me? i just don't know, i really need them though, there the only ones i can talk to about this whole thing and im scared i'll get worse because at the moment it's not getting any better but i cant keep relying on them to help me :/ urgh i dont know what to do :(
      Not looking for any advice by the way, just needed to write down how i felt. :/ All though if you do have some advice that would be nice.
      And i feel like I'm [COLOR="Red"]breaking[/COLOR] up and I wanted to [COLOR="red"]stay[/COLOR]...(8)

    • Re: I told them to stop caring :/

      I think the only thing you can do is seek help, professionally, is there someone at school you can talk about? A support worker or something?

      That was really the only thing that helped me, it was getting to the point where I was cutting out of habit, like I expected myself to do it X(

      Explaining to someone about what's making you cut also helps a lot, its nice to get things out in the open =]
      :D I like Cupcakes. Pretty pretty cupcakes :D

    • Re: I told them to stop caring :/

      We don't really have anyone at school to talk to about it, well no one i'd feel comfortable talking to :/ maybe it will help me, i suppose i'll just have to give it a try and see what happens.
      And i feel like I'm [COLOR="Red"]breaking[/COLOR] up and I wanted to [COLOR="red"]stay[/COLOR]...(8)

    • Re: I told them to stop caring :/

      Heya :)

      You know, my girlfriend was in your situation once a long while back. She used to self-harm, and her two best friends, although very concerned, weren't allowed to interfere. After a while, she realised that she had no one else there for her, and that she needed them there more than she ever knew before.

      I think that your friend have already shown great willingness to stand by you and help you no matter what. I think that you should talk to them, tell them that you're okay, you're sorry for turning your back on them, and you do need them there for you. Explain to them what's causing the depression and cutting, explain to them how they can help and what you don't want them to do. This way, everyone's a winner, you get the help that you need, and they can relax knowing that their friend isn't on their own.

      You need help with this sort of thing, and the start of this is getting it from your friends. No matter how you do it, you need their help again - you won't get through this on your own, as you've proven.

      Stay strong, stick with them.

      Good luck :)

      ~Tenris
      [LEFT][SIZE=4]My mind turns to metal, its gears are turning,[/SIZE][/LEFT]
      [LEFT][SIZE=4]And my sanity withers and dies.[/SIZE][/LEFT]
      [LEFT][SIZE=4]This world all around me, it's bitter and twisted;[/SIZE][/LEFT]
      [LEFT][SIZE=4]Reality, madness or lies?[/SIZE][/LEFT]

    • Re: I told them to stop caring :/

      there the only ones i can talk to about this whole thing and im scared i'll get worse because at the moment it's not getting any better but i cant keep relying on them to help me :/ urgh i dont know what to do :(
      Again yo, as I've told you and others have about 5 times already, the fact that you aren't going all out when it comes to getting better is a huge problem

      you're worried about what your parents might think, if I remember correctly yo

      I say fuck what your parents think, tell them, tell your school, tell whoever and everyone you can so you have a bigger, more reliable SUPPORT SYSTEM AROUND YOU yo

      it's no surprise that you're feeling guilt yo, and your friends are dealing with the pressure of being the only two able to help you.

      the relapses you've been having aren't right at all yo, I believe you need real, professional help at this point, especially if we go by your current record

      there's only so much we on the Internets can do, just like there's only so much your friends can do if they have to be the only ones looking out for you. Friends are a necessity to have, and they'll be with you through and through no matter what, but do yourself a favor and them a favor and relieve the stress you all must have yo

      The post was edited 1 time, last by Prophet of 50 Cent ().