Like most any other teenager I need advice, no really more of insight, from other point of views to see how things played out like they are.
So I am a teenager, a teenage girl of 18, to be exact. I've like guys had my fair share of heart breaks. But I have never dated. Everyone thinks I'm pretty, I think I'm average, and I'm fine with being just that....But anyway on to my point.
Oh by the way, my name is Leena. About a year, I guess little over a year now, I met this boy. It was at a local Rock fest put on by the radio stations here in town. It was raining that day, and for a summer day it was pretty cold and I had dressed lightly. Me and my cousin had been to the show the day before (it's the whole weekend) and on Saturday we where waiting in the rain for the concerts to start. I was with a bunch of her friends and we were huddled on the side walk, talking and trying to keep warm, When this boy and his friend walked up to talk to my cousin, he apparently was a boy from her school and quickly said "Hi." to them before diverting his attention to me. A "drenched rat" if you will sitting on the side walk soaked to the bone and shaking. He stuck his hand out as if for a high five, which I normally don't do High fives let alone with a total stranger, but I felt like I should. I made a comment on this hands being cold, and he told me he was sorry. I said " It;s fine my hands are so cold they are numb anyway." so he grabbed my hands and began to rub them with his. (to warm them up) and made small talk with me. Soon though he left with his friends. I asked my cousin about him and she said he was a boy they all knew and went to school with. and that he was the boy who had said I was beautiful the day before.
So I have to admit I kinda had a crush starting there, I mean he was sweet and cute, and even though he didn't know me he stopped and "attempted" to warm me up.(there was no getting warm in that freezing down pour.)
So that summer I spent almost entirely with my cousin and I had found him on facebook and added him, it took him a while to get on and add me, but he eventually did, and we started talking on the IM, and talked almost all that night. Once he had to get off though we exchanged numbers and continued to talk for a while that night, from then on we talked pretty much all the time. especially when I was at my cousins, we either, IM all day and night, talk on the phone, or text. And every morning before I got up he'd of texted or IMed my cousin telling her to tell me to talk to him as soon as I got up. We even hung out a bunch.
It was great, that whole summer was probably the best I'd ever had.
So, obviously we liked each other, we'd both admitted it to each other by then, and by then hell anyone could have seen it from a mile away... Well to be honest I'd never been kissed before, so when he tried, I'd get nervous and Id turn way... I wanted to kiss him, I really did, but I didn't know how to go about it, even though he was the one making the move, my automatic response was to move away.... This happened a lot.. ( which I regret) I hate that I was so shy around him, but he.. I don't know I just didn't want to make a mistake around him I suppose.
So time when on and he even asked me out.( I couldn't answer)
It wasn't him that was the problem no he was great, it was other guys.
See I've never dated... But all my guy friends have turned out liking me as more than friends when I only want to be just friends, and no matter what I do this seems to happen..
So I didn't want to hurt them, by going out with someone.. cause they seemed so upset just by me liking him (I know this was a stupid ideology, They should've been happy, I should have talked to them and told them how much he meant to me, but I was scared of losing people I cared about, so I didn't.)
So it's now the 4th of July 2009,(Yeah my timing in this is a bit off) and he was at the river with his family to watch the fire works.(he doesn't get along with this family) and once again I was at my cousin's house, and I wanted to go... She didn't so I said fine, I'd go alone... Once she realized I meant it, she decided to go to...( I'd of rather she didn't but, what can you do. )
So we make it down to the river and I tell her he's there and we should meet up with him and watch the fireworks, so we do. We all hang out and talk, and he and I flirt some... Okay well a lot...
Then he his my butt with his laptop and I make a big scene and storm off across the street to sit on a wall,(hoping he'd follow alone.0 and he does he follows soon behind me, he tells me he's sorry and that he just doesn't know how to act around me because of how he feels for me, and he asks me out... I say yes, and so we walk back holding hands. Then my mom comes to pick us up and ruins the whole thing.
So I don't know what happened, either he didn't hear me say yes or what... But he eventually is dating a girl... I don't know how it happens or what but he says his life was stressful and he didn't know for sure himself how it happened. He breaks up with her(we hadn't been talking for a while when his life had been stressful) and we start talking again and hanging out all till summer was over.
Then I didnt see him or talk to him much for a month or two. In october I asked him out on a date. It was nice and we kissed.. It was my first kiss and i blushed and even in the dark he could tell so he laughed at me....We ended up kissing a few times during the movie...After he went home, he went to a party and then again I stopped hearing from him, and i found out why.
This is the part where I'm not sure what to think. but I'll skip the filler.
Basically he was tired of living at home his mother treated him bad and he had wanted to move out since way before i knew him. He had moved out with this girl, to a different town, and lived with her, they dated. He talked to me on and off then, (this was about the middle of the school year) he told me he missed me and wanted to be with me, told me how crappy she treated him but he couldn't return to living with his mother. He asked me to move down there with him, or even move away to a different state with him, and then we;d go for a while without talking and talking, it was like a yoyo.
Till one weekend I had my friend over at my dad's. He texted me, said he had left her finally that he had gotten some money and moved into an apartment back in town. I was happy and my friend... welll (long story short... is a whore) and she automatically wanted to talk to him i told her no over and over again, I didnt want them to talk and i had only just started talking to him again.
I gave her a fake number.
he finds out an guilts me into giving him her number.
They talk.
They know each other 2 days, and sleep together.
In the span of a week... they sleep together 3 times.
Then he say's I cause drama because I was upset with them both for doing what I knew They'd end up doing... Which is why I didn't want them talking.( she was supposed to be my best friend.... But Once a whore.... always one...)
Well he end up telling her that he's just not into her and i still haddn't heard from him since him saying i was the cause of drama.
A couple months ago now, we started talking off and on, I had messaged him on facebook saying I was worried about him( I had heard a rumor something bad had happened to him.) He said thanks and gave me his new number and we started talking little bits. Before this I had seen him at the mall and he had almost talked me when he saw me and flirted with me doing silly things whenever I'd see him around the mall that night)
So when we started texting, he asked if i was surprised when i saw him, I said no, I knew he was there (I get the "butterfly feeling" whenever he's around and I don't have to see him to known it's him.) But he said.
"Seeing you, brought back memories of when my life was being happy for."
The he started texting me most nights, I'd be asleep, but it was nice to wake up too. Saying he missed me and such or sending me pictures.
Well the other day, we started texting, and I don'r remember what brought it up. But he said. " I'm sorry babe, I've always pushed myself away, because I feel very strongly for you. Plus when I feel like that I like to show emotional affection along with physical and i know you wont permit that."
I mean I'm a virgin and all so no I don't want to jump into a physical relationship, but he was the one always saying no when we were flirting, because I was a virgin he said it would be a "No no"
So all in all I just don't know what to make of him....
I have strong feelings for him, and even though he has hurt me and pushed me away, they wont just go away...
I don't understand his actions at all.
So anyone else have any ideas?
So I am a teenager, a teenage girl of 18, to be exact. I've like guys had my fair share of heart breaks. But I have never dated. Everyone thinks I'm pretty, I think I'm average, and I'm fine with being just that....But anyway on to my point.
Oh by the way, my name is Leena. About a year, I guess little over a year now, I met this boy. It was at a local Rock fest put on by the radio stations here in town. It was raining that day, and for a summer day it was pretty cold and I had dressed lightly. Me and my cousin had been to the show the day before (it's the whole weekend) and on Saturday we where waiting in the rain for the concerts to start. I was with a bunch of her friends and we were huddled on the side walk, talking and trying to keep warm, When this boy and his friend walked up to talk to my cousin, he apparently was a boy from her school and quickly said "Hi." to them before diverting his attention to me. A "drenched rat" if you will sitting on the side walk soaked to the bone and shaking. He stuck his hand out as if for a high five, which I normally don't do High fives let alone with a total stranger, but I felt like I should. I made a comment on this hands being cold, and he told me he was sorry. I said " It;s fine my hands are so cold they are numb anyway." so he grabbed my hands and began to rub them with his. (to warm them up) and made small talk with me. Soon though he left with his friends. I asked my cousin about him and she said he was a boy they all knew and went to school with. and that he was the boy who had said I was beautiful the day before.
So I have to admit I kinda had a crush starting there, I mean he was sweet and cute, and even though he didn't know me he stopped and "attempted" to warm me up.(there was no getting warm in that freezing down pour.)
So that summer I spent almost entirely with my cousin and I had found him on facebook and added him, it took him a while to get on and add me, but he eventually did, and we started talking on the IM, and talked almost all that night. Once he had to get off though we exchanged numbers and continued to talk for a while that night, from then on we talked pretty much all the time. especially when I was at my cousins, we either, IM all day and night, talk on the phone, or text. And every morning before I got up he'd of texted or IMed my cousin telling her to tell me to talk to him as soon as I got up. We even hung out a bunch.
It was great, that whole summer was probably the best I'd ever had.
So, obviously we liked each other, we'd both admitted it to each other by then, and by then hell anyone could have seen it from a mile away... Well to be honest I'd never been kissed before, so when he tried, I'd get nervous and Id turn way... I wanted to kiss him, I really did, but I didn't know how to go about it, even though he was the one making the move, my automatic response was to move away.... This happened a lot.. ( which I regret) I hate that I was so shy around him, but he.. I don't know I just didn't want to make a mistake around him I suppose.
So time when on and he even asked me out.( I couldn't answer)
It wasn't him that was the problem no he was great, it was other guys.
See I've never dated... But all my guy friends have turned out liking me as more than friends when I only want to be just friends, and no matter what I do this seems to happen..
So I didn't want to hurt them, by going out with someone.. cause they seemed so upset just by me liking him (I know this was a stupid ideology, They should've been happy, I should have talked to them and told them how much he meant to me, but I was scared of losing people I cared about, so I didn't.)
So it's now the 4th of July 2009,(Yeah my timing in this is a bit off) and he was at the river with his family to watch the fire works.(he doesn't get along with this family) and once again I was at my cousin's house, and I wanted to go... She didn't so I said fine, I'd go alone... Once she realized I meant it, she decided to go to...( I'd of rather she didn't but, what can you do. )
So we make it down to the river and I tell her he's there and we should meet up with him and watch the fireworks, so we do. We all hang out and talk, and he and I flirt some... Okay well a lot...
Then he his my butt with his laptop and I make a big scene and storm off across the street to sit on a wall,(hoping he'd follow alone.0 and he does he follows soon behind me, he tells me he's sorry and that he just doesn't know how to act around me because of how he feels for me, and he asks me out... I say yes, and so we walk back holding hands. Then my mom comes to pick us up and ruins the whole thing.
So I don't know what happened, either he didn't hear me say yes or what... But he eventually is dating a girl... I don't know how it happens or what but he says his life was stressful and he didn't know for sure himself how it happened. He breaks up with her(we hadn't been talking for a while when his life had been stressful) and we start talking again and hanging out all till summer was over.
Then I didnt see him or talk to him much for a month or two. In october I asked him out on a date. It was nice and we kissed.. It was my first kiss and i blushed and even in the dark he could tell so he laughed at me....We ended up kissing a few times during the movie...After he went home, he went to a party and then again I stopped hearing from him, and i found out why.
This is the part where I'm not sure what to think. but I'll skip the filler.
Basically he was tired of living at home his mother treated him bad and he had wanted to move out since way before i knew him. He had moved out with this girl, to a different town, and lived with her, they dated. He talked to me on and off then, (this was about the middle of the school year) he told me he missed me and wanted to be with me, told me how crappy she treated him but he couldn't return to living with his mother. He asked me to move down there with him, or even move away to a different state with him, and then we;d go for a while without talking and talking, it was like a yoyo.
Till one weekend I had my friend over at my dad's. He texted me, said he had left her finally that he had gotten some money and moved into an apartment back in town. I was happy and my friend... welll (long story short... is a whore) and she automatically wanted to talk to him i told her no over and over again, I didnt want them to talk and i had only just started talking to him again.
I gave her a fake number.
he finds out an guilts me into giving him her number.
They talk.
They know each other 2 days, and sleep together.
In the span of a week... they sleep together 3 times.
Then he say's I cause drama because I was upset with them both for doing what I knew They'd end up doing... Which is why I didn't want them talking.( she was supposed to be my best friend.... But Once a whore.... always one...)
Well he end up telling her that he's just not into her and i still haddn't heard from him since him saying i was the cause of drama.
A couple months ago now, we started talking off and on, I had messaged him on facebook saying I was worried about him( I had heard a rumor something bad had happened to him.) He said thanks and gave me his new number and we started talking little bits. Before this I had seen him at the mall and he had almost talked me when he saw me and flirted with me doing silly things whenever I'd see him around the mall that night)
So when we started texting, he asked if i was surprised when i saw him, I said no, I knew he was there (I get the "butterfly feeling" whenever he's around and I don't have to see him to known it's him.) But he said.
"Seeing you, brought back memories of when my life was being happy for."
The he started texting me most nights, I'd be asleep, but it was nice to wake up too. Saying he missed me and such or sending me pictures.
Well the other day, we started texting, and I don'r remember what brought it up. But he said. " I'm sorry babe, I've always pushed myself away, because I feel very strongly for you. Plus when I feel like that I like to show emotional affection along with physical and i know you wont permit that."
I mean I'm a virgin and all so no I don't want to jump into a physical relationship, but he was the one always saying no when we were flirting, because I was a virgin he said it would be a "No no"
So all in all I just don't know what to make of him....
I have strong feelings for him, and even though he has hurt me and pushed me away, they wont just go away...
I don't understand his actions at all.
So anyone else have any ideas?