3 years ago, on this very date actually, my good friend moved away to Italy. Well, she was more than my good friend; we became good friends early that year, and we ended up liking each other and going out through the summer before she left. I was so infatuated with her, and I know the word is thrown around a lot, and I know we were only 14, but I really felt like I truly loved her, I had never felt about any girl like that. Knowing that she was leaving in the summer we didn't waste any moment, and were together the majority of that holiday, since we met up nearly every day. But then she left, I told her I couldn't have a long distance relationship, so it ended, and about a month later, she and I both had new boyfriends and girlfriends respectively. Mine didn't last, but her's lasted a bit longer, and we gradually spoke less and less. But then at Christmas of the same year I had a kind of blessing in disguise. When I was speaking to her online she asked me if I still loved her, and would I kiss her if I saw her. I told her yes to both of the questions, but then found out that it was her boyfriend who'd said these things. I felt so betrayed, and I refused to speak to her again, as I felt I couldn't trust that it wasn't her boyfriend speaking and not her. Several days later, she turned up at my house, having come back to England for a few days. I was left shaken, I was still angry at her for what had happened before, and then I found out she had left her boyfriend for reasons I can't recall now. She asked if I would come with her into town, and stupidly I said no as I'd only been there with my friends (who were with me at the time) the day before. Anyway, so she left, and I was stunned for the rest of the day. All I wanted to do was to see her again, to talk to her, to kiss her. She finally came back to my house, and we did all those things, then as soon as she'd arrived, she left again, to go back to Italy.

I realise I've been moping on now for a while about relationship stuff which may be nothing, but it all seems important to me in the long run. Anyway, we went back to chatting online, and she got back with her boyfriend again. However, this time she told me that she still loved me, despite being with this guy. A few months later, I asked her if she really loved me when she had being saying it, and she said no. I had had enough. To be honest, it was my own fault for thinking she really did still like me, but I just got so angry at her that I simply ignored her. I ignored her for a whole year, and it is probably the decision I regret most in my entire life. She had moved to this strange new country, and will have been confused and vulnerable, and I just blanked her, so much for being a friend, let alone a boyfriend. She even tried to talk to me a few months after I started ignoring her, and I was about to reply back with the truth when for some reason I just didn't reply, and I let it slide further and further. All the while I felt so guilty, and looking back on it I can't believe I was so selfish. Then in march last year she spoke to me again on facebook, and I finally replied and told her the truth. I really thought she would just hate me for it, but she just brushed it off, and although our conversation was nothing like what they used to be, it was a start. The next time I really spoke to her was next july when she came to my house with a few other friends. I can't deny that it was awkward, I hadn't seen her for a year and a half, and most of that time I had just ignored her. Just as before it ended as quickly as it began and she went back to Italy again, and still we barely spoke.

This has been a really long post, I know, and thankyou to anyone who has read this far, but I'm nearly done. So now, over a year since I last saw her, I'm speaking to her on facebook and I've found out she's moved back to England because of family issues, but wants to go back to Italy. I think she's got something really great going on with a guy back there, and she wants to go back. I can't get any more out of her now, I just don't know what to say. I want to see her and just talk to her, just try and make it right, but right now I just don't know what to say. It's just so messed up and I feel so guilty that the amazing friendship we had is ruined. If I'd have made the effort to speak to her regularly it could be so much better, but right now it's like speaking to someone I never knew. I at least want to try and do something to salvage our friendship now, but I've no idea how to do it. I just want to apologise for ruining it, but I don't know how. As I said before, if you've read all this, thankyou, now I need your advice. Please help me try and make this work again.

Thanks for your advice, but she hasn't moved back in to where she used to live where I could easily see her, she lives across the other side of the country, so it's not as simple as just being able to see her in person and talk this over and make it better. It's not about my feelings for her any more. Yes I loved her, and there's a tiny bit inside of me that still does, but it's been 3 years now, and all I want as a supposed friend is for her to be happy. Don't get me wrong, if she moved back to her old home near me and things went back to normal I would jump at the chance to get her back, but I've accepted that that isn't normal any more. For her normal is back in Italy where she wants to be, and if that's where she's happy then so be it. I've moved on, and that's not going to change. I've accepted the fact that she'll never live near me again, even if she is in England, but I don't want that to stop us from still being friends. You can't imagine how much I wish it was as you said, that she's moved back to her old home, if only it was that simple...

Thankyou for your advice guys, it really means something. I think the first thing I'm going to do is apologise for all the times when I haven't spoken to her, I want to show her that I still care, and that's a start. She obviously really loves this guy back in Italy and she wants to be back there, I just can't help but wonder what will happen if she doesn't go back, so obviously I want to be there for her if the worst happens, but it's difficult. Like one of you said, she's obviously completely changed, and so have I, and it's like talking to a new person I've never met before. It's so difficult for me to speak to her as a friend and get it back to how it was when it's not face to face and just words on a screen. Even our conversation yesterday evening left trailing. She was saying how being back here is ruining her life, and, as the first thing a friend would do, I told her it would be alright. Then that was it, I had no idea what to say to her. If it's this hard to even talk how am I ever going to make this work?

Shit, so you remember the guy she had waiting for her back in Italy? According to facebook she split up with him. I don't know what happened there, I want to talk to her about it, but obviously I can't just go barging in asking about it.

No, I haven't had chance yet.

I hate to resurrect my old thread, but I don't know how to speak to her at all. She's online on facebook and so am I and I want to so much, but I've no idea how to even begin. I want to just jump straight in there and apologise, but is that the right way to go?