"i'm just not feelin it anymore"

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    • "i'm just not feelin it anymore"

      Recently my girlfriend has said that she no longer feels amazing when i finger her.
      we are both 16 and have been going out for 6 months. the first time i fingered her was about three months into our relationship and i have probably done it about 20-30 times since then.

      the problem
      This has been happening for about a month. she said that sometimes she can feel nothing and sometimes it can even hurt. i really want to be able to share sexual experiences with her but i cannot and it is really getting me down. i love her. i want to satisfy her. she has been using a cup for her period for the last two cycles and her vagina has felt quite a bit larger than it did originally. i have looked for side effects of cups on the internet and i have found nothing about it stretching the vagina.

      we have been experimenting recently to see i f we can find any technique that works and the most effective method was that she moved her pelvis around while i fingered her but still that only made it feel "better than usual but not nearly as good as it was" (this was also close to the start of her next period, 1-3 days.)

      i have asked her to try using pads and tampons for her period this month to see if it makes any difference. she has agreed to do so.

      anyone. if you can offer help and support please do. this whole thing kinda gets me down.:cries:

      The post was edited 1 time, last by oscarius4 ().

    • Re: "i'm just not feelin it anymore"

      oscarius4 wrote:

      Recently my girlfriend has said that she no longer feels amazing when i finger her.
      we are both 16 and have been going out for 6 months. the first time i fingered her was about three months into our relationship and i have probably done it about 20-30 times since then.

      the problem
      This has been happening for about a month. she said that sometimes she can feel nothing and sometimes it can even hurt. i really want to be able to share sexual experiences with her but i cannot and it is really getting me down. i love her. i want to satisfy her. she has been using a cup for her period for the last two cycles and her vagina has felt quite a bit larger than it did originally. i have looked for side effects of cups on the internet and i have found nothing about it stretching the vagina.

      we have been experimenting recently to see i f we can find any technique that works and the most effective method was that she moved her pelvis around while i fingered her but still that only made it feel "better than usual but not nearly as good as it was" (this was also close to the start of her next period, 1-3 days.)

      i have asked her to try using pads and tampons for her period this month to see if it makes any difference. she has agreed to do so.

      anyone. if you can offer help and support please do. this whole thing kinda gets me down.:cries:


      Have you tried fingering her and licking her pussy simultaneously?

    • Re: "i'm just not feelin it anymore"

      oscarius4 wrote:

      u guys aren't helping.


      I'm offended. I gave you good advice. Did you even try what I asked you? By your response, I am getting the impression that you have not done that. Tongue and finger in pussy equals excellence. I was trying to be nice and helpful.

      But now you have brought the rage outta THE MVP.

      Maybe all this time, you just made it feel good enough. Hence the word enough. Screw it, unless you say sorry, I will not give you detailed and step by step advice. Tootles and good luck.

      ---------- Post added at 09:51 PM ---------- Previous post was at 09:49 PM ----------

      oscarius4 wrote:

      it's not that easy though. she doesn't want to have sex until it feels the right time (i have very intrusive parents.) also i want the first time to actually be good. that is why i want to make sure it will be. it's not because my penis is broken.


      You got a big problem. Hahahahahaha! If she said that to you, then basically you need to become an expert in pussy licking and pussy fingering. So try to resolve that or she might move on to someone else. Tootles.

    • Re: "i'm just not feelin it anymore"

      Yea I have personally never found condoms advise any good tbh...

      I think you should evaluate your technique, a lot of guys think that slipping your fingers in and out is the best way to conduct 4play with fingers. I personally disagree. If we are talking specifically about fingering here, you should use 2-3 fingers and instead of slipping them in and out, put them in as far as they go and apply pressure against her clit with the side of your same hand where your thumb meets your index finger. Instead of slipping them in and out,kind of thrust against your vagina and curl your fingers back also, this all may seem as it will hurt, and it will if you head straight into such a thing, but this is a technique that really does work with regards to fingering.

      4play in general can be so much fun and is essential when it comes to sex. It can obviously be enough fun on it's own. But you need to make her feel turned on, tease her in more ways than one. Set the mood right, look at her with suggestive and sexual glances, glide your hands over her skin as you kiss her neck and nibble her ear, do many many things but DON'T rush right into fingering her, it will not be wanted that way. All the best and good luck ;)
      ''there is no way to peace, peace is the way''

      The post was edited 1 time, last by ThailandTom ().

    • Re: "i'm just not feelin it anymore"

      ThailandTom wrote:

      Yea I have personally never found condoms advise any good tbh...

      I think you should evaluate your technique, a lot of guys think that slipping your fingers in and out is the best way to conduct 4play with fingers. I personally disagree. If we are talking specifically about fingering here, you should use 2-3 fingers and instead of slipping them in and out, put them in as far as they go and apply pressure against her clit with the side of your same hand where your thumb meets your index finger. Instead of slipping them in and out,kind of thrust against your vagina and curl your fingers back also, this all may seem as it will hurt, and it will if you head straight into such a thing, but this is a technique that really does work with regards to fingering.

      4play in general can be so much fun and is essential when it comes to sex. It can obviously be enough fun on it's own. But you need to make her feel turned on, tease her in more ways than one. Set the mood right, look at her with suggestive and sexual glances, glide your hands over her skin as you kiss her neck and nibble her ear, do many many things but DON'T rush right into fingering her, it will not be wanted that way. All the best and good luck ;)


      good advice, and yeah anti condoms advice is never good, a virgin can only know so much right? lol
      [CENTER] [/CENTER]

    • Re: "i'm just not feelin it anymore"

      lol, I will second that for sure. But to add something quickly for oscars sake, don't make the fingering side of the 4play be the only aspect to it. get creative and build up to things, tease like I said and kiss her whilst fingering, look into her eyes and just connect!
      ''there is no way to peace, peace is the way''

    • Re: "i'm just not feelin it anymore"

      first of all, we are both virgins and we will have sex when we feel the time is right. i use two fingers and rub the wall of the vagina that is on the stomach side of the body. if i rub to vigorously with a kind of "come hither" movement. she says it hurts. i have tried going in and out with my fingers but i did not see any noticeable reaction and i asked her if it felt good and she said no. oral is a no go just cause we are not into that kinda stuff. she often tries to push my hand in further but then it still doesn't make much difference.

      do you think this is a problem with my technique or a medical problem with her??

      thanks for the support you guys.

    • Re: "i'm just not feelin it anymore"

      have you tried clitoral stimulation? not all girls can get off with just vaginal penetration. also, what the hell is a cup? ive never heard of it and have had my period for years! try not to do that before her period, the vagina is very sensitive then and even the slightest motions (such as the come hither) hurt sometimes. is it that she isnt aroused enough either? sometimes it just takes a while for the oven to heat up (sorry terrible analogy.) i know these arent organized but im trying to help you out, sorry =[.

    • Re: "i'm just not feelin it anymore"

      oscarius4 wrote:

      Recently my girlfriend has said that she no longer feels amazing when i finger her.
      we are both 16 and have been going out for 6 months. the first time i fingered her was about three months into our relationship and i have probably done it about 20-30 times since then.

      the problem
      This has been happening for about a month. she said that sometimes she can feel nothing and sometimes it can even hurt. i really want to be able to share sexual experiences with her but i cannot and it is really getting me down. i love her. i want to satisfy her. she has been using a cup for her period for the last two cycles and her vagina has felt quite a bit larger than it did originally. i have looked for side effects of cups on the internet and i have found nothing about it stretching the vagina.

      we have been experimenting recently to see i f we can find any technique that works and the most effective method was that she moved her pelvis around while i fingered her but still that only made it feel "better than usual but not nearly as good as it was" (this was also close to the start of her next period, 1-3 days.)

      i have asked her to try using pads and tampons for her period this month to see if it makes any difference. she has agreed to do so.

      anyone. if you can offer help and support please do. this whole thing kinda gets me down.:cries:


      Okay. So a few times I have had the same problem. When my boyfriend had fingered me before, I found it to not be as pleasurable as the previous times before. We worked through it. I have never had the feeling of "feeling nothing". The only way a girl would feel nothing is by going to deep. There aren't enough cell sensors deeper in the vagina so they may feel pressure, but nothing more. I doubt that is the case, because that is common with just sex.
      If it hurts, maybe she isn't wet enough? I have told my boyfriend that he has to use more foreplay, suck on me, or rub me and do what makes me hot and bothered. :p

      Fingers shouldn't hurt because the vagina stretches when aroused. So make her more aroused. Ask what she likes, what turns her on. Rub her clit, because that is usually the most sensitive part of the woman's body. It'll get her aroused. Or at least it should. Just don't give up. I don't believe it's your fault.
      You could also switch it up when you want by giving her head.

      I don't really know what a "cup" is for a menstrual cycle. I've only used tampons and such. So I have no advice for that area.

      Anyways, if this is never resolved, you could just give her head, and eventually move on to sex when you have more privacy and such. Girls tend to love that. Anyways I do. :rolleyes:

      Good luck! :)

      ---------- Post added at 11:32 PM ---------- Previous post was at 11:27 PM ----------

      oscarius4 wrote:

      first of all, we are both virgins and we will have sex when we feel the time is right. i use two fingers and rub the wall of the vagina that is on the stomach side of the body. if i rub to vigorously with a kind of "come hither" movement. she says it hurts. i have tried going in and out with my fingers but i did not see any noticeable reaction and i asked her if it felt good and she said no. oral is a no go just cause we are not into that kinda stuff. she often tries to push my hand in further but then it still doesn't make much difference.

      do you think this is a problem with my technique or a medical problem with her??

      thanks for the support you guys.


      Oh, btw. I'll respond to this.
      You have to really pay attention to her. I would think that you should use more fingers if she doesn't feel anything. If it hurts, then obviously she is not wet enough. She may want you to go deeper, but only when she is really wet. Wetness is the key to go in farther. :wink:

      For instance, I tend to like starting out with two, and then I'll have my boyfriend put in more when I am really aroused.

      Sorry for the oral advice. Scratch all of it from me. :)
      This really isn't a problem. Trust me. You just have to learn what she likes. Your technique of the "come hither" could possibly hurt. Each vagina is different. It's not a medical problem with her, just use foreplay and do what she wants you to do to turn her on more and more. :)

    • Re: "i'm just not feelin it anymore"

      Does she masturbate? Does it feel good for her when she does it herself?
      I don't believe that cup or fact you did it 20 - 30 times van make it not so good for her. i did it.. Omg... more then 3000 times in life probably and it is still great.
      Maybe.... just maybe... she didn't like it from the begining and only now she has courage to tell you so?
      Try other things, try doing what she's doing when she masturbates. She can lead your hand and show you. Try new things. Try oral.

      ---------- Post added at 02:48 AM ---------- Previous post was at 02:44 AM ----------

      oscarius4 wrote:

      if i rub to vigorously with a kind of "come hither" movement. she says it hurts.

      It's normal. Idk how vigourosly yo do it, but if you do it hard and fast like when guys JO - it doesn't work like that for girls. Also, you can scratch her if you do it too hard.
      Try focusing more on clit. Ask her what she likes, how she does it herself.