I have had a continuous depression and thoughts of suicide for almost a month now. I dated this guy that I had nearly everything in common with. We dated for 13 months, and nearly a month ago, he suddenly told me he needed some time alone to think (a break). We had talked about marrige, living together, our future plans, etc. since as long as I can remember. Also, he and I were eachothers first (I would hope you know what that means). He is the only guy I have ever felt completely comfortable around. He is my best friend; I told him everything. We had only gotten in a few small arguments and one big one over something stupid. Anyway, so when this idea of a break hit me all at once, I broke down. I cried and begged him to please rethink this decision and just work things out with me, and if that didnt work... take a break. That Thursday, (this idea was on a Monday; 19 Nov), I finally just told him that I would give him time. I didnt think he was going to budge on that decision, so I just gave up. He didnt talk to me. I texted him that Sunday and asked him if he would please come over and talk to me (I hadnt seen him since 18 Nov and we had been together almost every day for a year). He hesitated, said he had things to do, and drove away from home and in the opposite direction of my house to go to town with a friend. I asked him to please come over and told him that I just wanted to talk about the situation in person... he refused.
I called him and begged him to please just do this one thing for me... he still refused and was pretty mean to me. I picked up a friend from her home and brought her back to mine. By the time I got back home he said that we just needed to break up because of the way I acted that day. I cried all night, could barely sleep. I didnt go to school the next day.
The next couple of days went by. I had no urge to hang out with friends, do my hair or makeup for the public, or do anything for that matter. I started falling into a depression. My friends and aquaintences (sp?) at school noticed. I had thoughts of suicide and cried every day. One night I went outside to think and my mom thought I had run away. I would cry myself to sleep every night thinking of the thought that he may never come back. I had to promise my grandmother I wouldnt do anything to hurt myself. My mom grew angry and would get mad with me if I cried. She would storm out of the house, cussing because I wouldnt stop crying. I would cry out, "I just want him to come back!"
I have tried talking to other people since, and it hasnt worked. Ive been out with friends to keep my mind off of it. It did help the crying all day, every day, but I still cry like every other day. Im not happy with life. My happiness left with him. I put on this "mask" at school and in public so people cant see that Im dying inside from this horrid situation.
I have texted him since. He has said that he still wants to be friends, but when I tell him Id like to hang out, play some video games together or something, he doesnt reply back. He hasnt said he misses me at all or said he still loves me since the week the situation started. Although, he did tell me that week that he still loved me, he just needed some time alone.
I dont know what to do, where to go, how to handle this.
I dont want to be with anyone else; he is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with, and he knows that. Ive asked for advice but no one seems to help much. I have very few friends that I can count on.
Please help me and give me your opinions.
---------- Post added at 03:53 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:49 PM ----------
Oh! And also, we started dating my freshman (his senior) year of highschool. I am now a sophomore (very mature for my age) and he is a freshman at a local college.
I called him and begged him to please just do this one thing for me... he still refused and was pretty mean to me. I picked up a friend from her home and brought her back to mine. By the time I got back home he said that we just needed to break up because of the way I acted that day. I cried all night, could barely sleep. I didnt go to school the next day.
The next couple of days went by. I had no urge to hang out with friends, do my hair or makeup for the public, or do anything for that matter. I started falling into a depression. My friends and aquaintences (sp?) at school noticed. I had thoughts of suicide and cried every day. One night I went outside to think and my mom thought I had run away. I would cry myself to sleep every night thinking of the thought that he may never come back. I had to promise my grandmother I wouldnt do anything to hurt myself. My mom grew angry and would get mad with me if I cried. She would storm out of the house, cussing because I wouldnt stop crying. I would cry out, "I just want him to come back!"
I have tried talking to other people since, and it hasnt worked. Ive been out with friends to keep my mind off of it. It did help the crying all day, every day, but I still cry like every other day. Im not happy with life. My happiness left with him. I put on this "mask" at school and in public so people cant see that Im dying inside from this horrid situation.
I have texted him since. He has said that he still wants to be friends, but when I tell him Id like to hang out, play some video games together or something, he doesnt reply back. He hasnt said he misses me at all or said he still loves me since the week the situation started. Although, he did tell me that week that he still loved me, he just needed some time alone.
I dont know what to do, where to go, how to handle this.
I dont want to be with anyone else; he is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with, and he knows that. Ive asked for advice but no one seems to help much. I have very few friends that I can count on.
Please help me and give me your opinions.
---------- Post added at 03:53 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:49 PM ----------
Oh! And also, we started dating my freshman (his senior) year of highschool. I am now a sophomore (very mature for my age) and he is a freshman at a local college.