I somewhat dont even know where to begin....
Over the past few years I have been stuggleing with depression and with low self estem issues. I go to a small school, where everyone knows eachother and everybody always knows whats going on. and due to that, I have always felt the need to fit in...and I am terrifidy that I will be rejected and outcasted by everyone. More importantly because we live in such a small town...everyone is extremly rasict, and hate gays, lesbians, and bisexual people. It hurts a lot, now knowing I can not come out and tell people "Oh hey I like both men and women"...I would be ridiculed and probaly be beaten up by a few people at my school.
I also cut myself, a lot, and lately I have been wanting to just drag the razor blade so deep into my skin that I bleed to death...I cant take it anymore.
I feel outcasted by my fellow peers, and I already am being made fun of because i cut myself...everyone calls me "emo"... but really wtf does that even mean !?
I'm just tried of waking up and going to a place where I try to fit in, but clearly I do not, and it hurts not having someone close to be able to tell these things too.
I cant even tell my own mother, if I did I would break her heart, and destroy her. If I told her that I am Bi, she wouldnt look at me the same ever again... neither would my dad...
I'm scared of that happening, cause all I have is my mom and my dad, and if I lose anymore people I'll break down and end up sliting my neck cause I am really unhappy.
I feel so alone and scared, yet I cant tell anyone.
Cause im attracted to woman, and men....I will never be able to fit in at my school...and I will never be able to fit in even at my own home.
I really have no true friends....they all ditched me for some bitch with huge tits...yes, they are huge, unnatural for a 16 year old girl....they are all to busy trying to get laid and drunk out of thier f-ing minds to realise that I am not there, I am at home, probaly sliting my wrists, cause thats what "emo" kids do.
I really did not ask for this....I really did not...because of the kids at my school I now fear of going out to places. I fear people now, because of all my insecureities, and low self estem. I stay locked away, with no one but myself and my mind...which leads to thoughts of suicide a lot... Because of all those f-ing bitches and bastards, I am more broken then I already was...I cant even go outside that much anymore. all because people terify me...
I am thinking of just staying in my room, staying safe and to keep from getting my heart ripped out of my chest... I'm just tired of it all....i really am...
I really want to just f-ing end it all....right now.
Over the past few years I have been stuggleing with depression and with low self estem issues. I go to a small school, where everyone knows eachother and everybody always knows whats going on. and due to that, I have always felt the need to fit in...and I am terrifidy that I will be rejected and outcasted by everyone. More importantly because we live in such a small town...everyone is extremly rasict, and hate gays, lesbians, and bisexual people. It hurts a lot, now knowing I can not come out and tell people "Oh hey I like both men and women"...I would be ridiculed and probaly be beaten up by a few people at my school.
I also cut myself, a lot, and lately I have been wanting to just drag the razor blade so deep into my skin that I bleed to death...I cant take it anymore.
I feel outcasted by my fellow peers, and I already am being made fun of because i cut myself...everyone calls me "emo"... but really wtf does that even mean !?
I'm just tried of waking up and going to a place where I try to fit in, but clearly I do not, and it hurts not having someone close to be able to tell these things too.
I cant even tell my own mother, if I did I would break her heart, and destroy her. If I told her that I am Bi, she wouldnt look at me the same ever again... neither would my dad...
I'm scared of that happening, cause all I have is my mom and my dad, and if I lose anymore people I'll break down and end up sliting my neck cause I am really unhappy.
I feel so alone and scared, yet I cant tell anyone.
Cause im attracted to woman, and men....I will never be able to fit in at my school...and I will never be able to fit in even at my own home.
I really have no true friends....they all ditched me for some bitch with huge tits...yes, they are huge, unnatural for a 16 year old girl....they are all to busy trying to get laid and drunk out of thier f-ing minds to realise that I am not there, I am at home, probaly sliting my wrists, cause thats what "emo" kids do.
I really did not ask for this....I really did not...because of the kids at my school I now fear of going out to places. I fear people now, because of all my insecureities, and low self estem. I stay locked away, with no one but myself and my mind...which leads to thoughts of suicide a lot... Because of all those f-ing bitches and bastards, I am more broken then I already was...I cant even go outside that much anymore. all because people terify me...
I am thinking of just staying in my room, staying safe and to keep from getting my heart ripped out of my chest... I'm just tired of it all....i really am...
I really want to just f-ing end it all....right now.