I was hoping that someone might be able to give me some advice about what to do with a problem that has developed recently between my dad and I. First of all, you should know that both me and my dad are extremely stubborn and have a hard time admitting that we were wrong about something. We're also both really independent and hate to be told what to do.
My parents have always said that as long as I'm attending post-secondary, they'll pay for my tuition and let me live at home for free. Now that I'm 18 and ready to start college next year, this issue has become much more complicated. My dad is still willing to pay my tuition, but he's using it as a huge guilt-trip for me. In Canada, I'm legally an adult at 18, but he still gives me a curfew and a bed-time, and tells me what to do all the time. If I object, he says he has a right to control these things because he's paying my tuition and letting me live at home for free. Also, I have a job for the summer, which I work at for 8 1/2 hours every weekday, and I wanted to take two weeks off at the end of August before school starts; I was going to use this time to renovate my room and get ready for the upcoming semester. He won't let me take any time off, because he says I'm lazy and being ungrateful about how much money he's spending on me. He says that I'm demonstrating to him that I don't know how valuable money is and how hard it is to earn it, so if I take time off he is going to make me pay my own tuition and start paying rent so I'll "understand".
He also wants me to work the whole summer because he says he's going to make me help with some of the payments for college, which I don't mind doing. The thing is, I've already saved up $10, 000 from working my butt off during previous summers. So I think I can afford to take a few weeks off work, while still having enough money to help pay my tuition. Every time I tell him this, though, he says "how long would that money last if I made you pay everything, including rent?"
In addition, he's making me attend the summer semester at college so I can get ahead in my schooling. This means I won't have a break from school for the next 2 years. And I have no say in this whatsover because, again, he's paying for everything.
So I need to know; am I being unreasonable/ungrateful? Because I'm not sure anymore. I really do appreciate the fact that my dad is planning on paying my tuition and letting me live at home for free, and he's right: I can't afford to pay rent and my own tuition. My 10 grand would be gone at the end of the year, and I've worked too hard for that money to waste it on one year of schooling. But I want nothing more than the chance to be a little bit more independent, and learn to make my own decisions (now that I'm an ADULT). I feel like as long as my dad is paying for me to go to school, I'm not going to get the chance to make my own decisions. And I don't know if I can wait for the 4 years it'll take to get a bachelor's degree before being able to decide on my own bed-time and choosing if I can afford to take some time off work. So what should I do?
My parents have always said that as long as I'm attending post-secondary, they'll pay for my tuition and let me live at home for free. Now that I'm 18 and ready to start college next year, this issue has become much more complicated. My dad is still willing to pay my tuition, but he's using it as a huge guilt-trip for me. In Canada, I'm legally an adult at 18, but he still gives me a curfew and a bed-time, and tells me what to do all the time. If I object, he says he has a right to control these things because he's paying my tuition and letting me live at home for free. Also, I have a job for the summer, which I work at for 8 1/2 hours every weekday, and I wanted to take two weeks off at the end of August before school starts; I was going to use this time to renovate my room and get ready for the upcoming semester. He won't let me take any time off, because he says I'm lazy and being ungrateful about how much money he's spending on me. He says that I'm demonstrating to him that I don't know how valuable money is and how hard it is to earn it, so if I take time off he is going to make me pay my own tuition and start paying rent so I'll "understand".
He also wants me to work the whole summer because he says he's going to make me help with some of the payments for college, which I don't mind doing. The thing is, I've already saved up $10, 000 from working my butt off during previous summers. So I think I can afford to take a few weeks off work, while still having enough money to help pay my tuition. Every time I tell him this, though, he says "how long would that money last if I made you pay everything, including rent?"
In addition, he's making me attend the summer semester at college so I can get ahead in my schooling. This means I won't have a break from school for the next 2 years. And I have no say in this whatsover because, again, he's paying for everything.
So I need to know; am I being unreasonable/ungrateful? Because I'm not sure anymore. I really do appreciate the fact that my dad is planning on paying my tuition and letting me live at home for free, and he's right: I can't afford to pay rent and my own tuition. My 10 grand would be gone at the end of the year, and I've worked too hard for that money to waste it on one year of schooling. But I want nothing more than the chance to be a little bit more independent, and learn to make my own decisions (now that I'm an ADULT). I feel like as long as my dad is paying for me to go to school, I'm not going to get the chance to make my own decisions. And I don't know if I can wait for the 4 years it'll take to get a bachelor's degree before being able to decide on my own bed-time and choosing if I can afford to take some time off work. So what should I do?