First of all, I want to thank anyone who's reading this. You all are beautiful people for sparing some of your time to read this.
Me and my mum are very close, but recently when i want to share something with her the conversation always ends up of her telling me why i'm not good enough (e.g I don't work hard enough, I'm impolite, I'm a lazy slob, I should be the best in my grade) Normally, these things don't affect me but a few months ago i had friendship troubles and a lot of stress and i think i became depressed (Crying everyday, feeling inadequate, dreading school, snapping at the slightest things) and this went on for about 2 months . I never talked about it and it caused me to become increasingly insecure (actually something similar happened a year ago but i never talked about it either). So now, whenever I receive any kind of criticism, I get really emotional and either get really angry and yell, or i burst into tears. So I tried to discuss something with her and it ended up with me in tears in my room.
Usually when I am really upset i let it out by venting on twitter. This time however, i did it through BBM (Blackberry messenger) and i put my status as "Remind me never to tell you anything again." I forgot I had her as a contact and she read it and we had a big argument via BBM. At first i didn't want to talk about it, but she got really angry, and when i tried to tell her how hurt i was when she said what she just told me that the world doesn't always agree with me and what good would i do by blaming her. Then something weird happened; all the bottled up feelings i had suddenly came rushing out and i started getting really angry i replied: "Fine. I'm sorry. I'm an egotistical bitch who is never right and always blames her parents." She deleted me off her bbm.
So now we are not really talking, and i feel really bad and i know i shouldn't have done what i did, but i do believe that this wasn't entirely my fault. Isn't she supposed to care when i say that she hurt my feelings instead of twisting my words and saying that I blame her for me being a wimp?
So there you go. I know this is a really long post but i needed to get it all out there. I tried to write it as unbiased as possible. Bless anyone who actually bothered to read up to here. Any advice would be great. Thank you so much for reading this.
-Cha
Me and my mum are very close, but recently when i want to share something with her the conversation always ends up of her telling me why i'm not good enough (e.g I don't work hard enough, I'm impolite, I'm a lazy slob, I should be the best in my grade) Normally, these things don't affect me but a few months ago i had friendship troubles and a lot of stress and i think i became depressed (Crying everyday, feeling inadequate, dreading school, snapping at the slightest things) and this went on for about 2 months . I never talked about it and it caused me to become increasingly insecure (actually something similar happened a year ago but i never talked about it either). So now, whenever I receive any kind of criticism, I get really emotional and either get really angry and yell, or i burst into tears. So I tried to discuss something with her and it ended up with me in tears in my room.
Usually when I am really upset i let it out by venting on twitter. This time however, i did it through BBM (Blackberry messenger) and i put my status as "Remind me never to tell you anything again." I forgot I had her as a contact and she read it and we had a big argument via BBM. At first i didn't want to talk about it, but she got really angry, and when i tried to tell her how hurt i was when she said what she just told me that the world doesn't always agree with me and what good would i do by blaming her. Then something weird happened; all the bottled up feelings i had suddenly came rushing out and i started getting really angry i replied: "Fine. I'm sorry. I'm an egotistical bitch who is never right and always blames her parents." She deleted me off her bbm.
So now we are not really talking, and i feel really bad and i know i shouldn't have done what i did, but i do believe that this wasn't entirely my fault. Isn't she supposed to care when i say that she hurt my feelings instead of twisting my words and saying that I blame her for me being a wimp?
So there you go. I know this is a really long post but i needed to get it all out there. I tried to write it as unbiased as possible. Bless anyone who actually bothered to read up to here. Any advice would be great. Thank you so much for reading this.
-Cha