...Help!

    • ...Help!

      Havent been on here for a while thanks to school! But anyway,

      This girl I havent talked to in like a month (I'll explain later on) just texted me today. To give you a summary (very short).

      We met online, can you say urbanchat. The site blows with haters though. Anyway I met her and thought she was cool and we exchanged numbers (First day). I'll say she has problems and I don't know, but I feel like helping her through them, but I never experienced these things.

      We did meet physical (thank god!). I'm 19 and she's 17 and she's like a model (you know wears stuff and markets them). I live pretty far and when I heard she was coming near me I drove to the place. We met and to say the least we hit it off like texting we be doing. When she wasn't shooting pics she was messin with my lips :D FunFunFun.

      I hung out at her rented place and we just cuddled...Naked (no sex)(I wasn't mad)(This is not the problem).

      She left a week later (Hung with her for a week). We kissed that I want to eat you kiss and she left. Now I don't wanna say I'm in love, but if I had to say I wanted to stay with only her my whole life; I'd do it in a heart beat.

      The problem is she has mental problems. Im not saying she's crazy, but too emotional. I can deal with helping her with these problems, but she won't let me. She will say she is mad, sad, and stuff, but...

      This is a small I believe text to show you:

      Right now she texted me back after two months and explaning why.

      Girl: I was in a controlled facility...Why? For my depression.
      Me: What happened how the ****you end up there?
      Girl: My mom actually started to notice how sad I was.
      Me: What were you sad about

      She tells me see misses her dad and doesn't see him around much. I don't know how to help on this, but i try to comfort her (Cause I care for her). So I tell her if she told her mom if she could let her dad see him and she writes.

      Girl: Yeah I do. But enough about me. How you been since I been gone?

      I don't push her into explaining anything, because I worry for her. I make her feel special and she should. I tried talking to her, but she always says she's sleepy.

      How do I help her on this?
      [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
      How far do you want me to suppress myself so that you'll be satisfied?

    • Re: ...Help!

      I don't have any experience with anything like this personally, but I really think that you're doing the right thing with not pushing her into explaining everything but still showing that you're caring. Being put into a facility, I'd imagine that her situation can definitely get better and that there isn't anything for you to really input to help with her depression directly- you probably can't solve her problems as well as the professionals, it's good to know that her mum had taken good action for it already.

      Keep in contact with her and kinda double check with how she is I suppose. The fact that she's texted you without knowing you for *that* long compared to other people she could also know makes me think that she might not have that many people to turn to where she is. I dunno- just taking a shot at guessing. So that means she obviously is turning to you as someone to talk to about this, she started the conversation.

      So yeah. You seem like an awesome guy with completely right intentions but there isn't that much to do other than talk to her about it once in a while I suppose. Let the facility do its thing.
      PM me to ask questions, say hi or whatever! Oh and friend me while you're at it :D
      Forever alone? teenhut.net/dating-relationshi…t-always-been-single.html

    • Re: ...Help!

      Thnx. Ive been thinking if A lot about this lately. I be hearing distance relationships don't go well, but when your in one your not really thinking about the odds.

      And yes you pretty much hit all the points right. She says all the guys over there want her for her body and there are some that try, but they show they're true colors soon. She had her heart broken many times thnx to all those dramas and thn met me.

      I also have this question.

      Because we live so far apart and she is truly beautiful. She has a lot to deal with. Guys after her, girls saying stuff, and home not being that great. She texts me this now and then and trust me I jump on those honestly, "no lol, rofl, etc" it a straight forward text. Only sometimes I wonder if my words are helping. Can words help someone in a situation like that?
      [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
      How far do you want me to suppress myself so that you'll be satisfied?

    • Re: ...Help!

      We sounds very depressed, you are right in trying to do everything you can to show that you care for her, it will definitely help her out. As for relationship, that depends on the distance, how often you would be able to see each other, and how much each of you trust each other. Long distance relationships heavily rely on communication (Which she has a slight problem of), trust, and commitment. You need to think about those things before you rush into a relationship with her.

    • Re: ...Help!

      Thats why Im in this undefined relationship with her. I mean I understand she needs a guy thats willing to listen rather than a guy just in it for the physical thrill. Guys where I live have seriously become unemotional beings it kind of scares me.


      I also have another serious problem, Well its my friend. He doesn't have a TH yet, but he needs serious help (Well he thinks he does). His been talking to this girl recently back and fourth and things seem to be going good. His 18 and the girl his talking to is 16

      Recently the girl his talkin to sister adds him on facebook. She is 12-13 and my friend talks to her. He knew that she was her sister, she was young. They talked about the girl he talking to all very innocent. Not in a pedophile way. Then the girl (The 16 yr old) found out he was talkin to her sister and was mad. He didn't know what he did wrong...Honestly I don't know either. He tried saying sorry and all the stops but she wouldnt listen so he decided to give her space. Anyone understand what happened?
      [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
      How far do you want me to suppress myself so that you'll be satisfied?

    • Re: ...Help!

      Takumi Usui wrote:

      Recently the girl his talkin to sister adds him on facebook. She is 12-13 and my friend talks to her. He knew that she was her sister, she was young. They talked about the girl he talking to all very innocent. Not in a pedophile way. Then the girl (The 16 yr old) found out he was talkin to her sister and was mad. He didn't know what he did wrong...Honestly I don't know either. He tried saying sorry and all the stops but she wouldnt listen so he decided to give her space. Anyone understand what happened?


      She probably finds it invasive and that it is kind of creepy that he, being 18, would be talking to her 12 year old sister. If I was him, I would send the chat logs to her and write a "summary" note that says that the younger sister started up a conversation(s) with me and that I was merely giving her someone to talk to. I was just being friendly and there's nothing else more to the story. I apologise if you found it invasive and I hope that it doesn't create a negative impact between us. And then see how she responds to it.

    • Re: ...Help!

      Sometimes when you go through a lot like that it's hard to open up and trust people, and there is nothing you can say to reason with her or make her feel comforted. The fact that she was in a mental facility is also a hard thing to get past. I was in one and it was my own kind of prison. She just has a lot of skeletons in her closet and if she's been heartbroken many times before. It's extremely hard to want to open up and to give a piece of yourself to someone especially after going through something that has personally scarred you for life.

      Don't lose hope though. Who cares if there are guys after her and want her body. If she's not willing to open up to you I honestly don't think you have an issue with her getting with someone else. There's always going to be guys wanting to get all up on that, especially if she is a really special person. And you obviously think so. Just give her time.

    • Re: ...Help!

      Thnx guys!

      Well shes been kind of opening up to me more these days. I don't really know why, but she is. She even told me she doesn't want to love me too fast and that I understood. I did.

      Ive been thinking about if what I really feel is love for her or just pity. Before you grill me on this, just hear me out. At first I was attracted to her looks, but over years I find that looks alone are nothing much without charater. Now I find that underneth this beauty lies a lot of problems I want to fix (As best as I can from where I am). It bugs me that beautiful women as a whole have social problems and I dont understand it. I know I would never cheat on her cause no matter what kind of girl I see I always think about her and if she's alright.

      I even wonder if one day she decides to kill herself. I might say the wrong thing and thats all it takes. I'm never careful of my words (Its not my character). If shes done something bad of course I will tell her, if I'm mad at her (Which really happens) I'd tell her. Could this be love or just a form of pity?
      [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
      How far do you want me to suppress myself so that you'll be satisfied?

    • Re: ...Help!

      That's a very valid point. What you have to do is to keep those situations/thoughts separate from each other. When she is asking you for help about a situation, then help her. But if she's not asking for help, then you have to be think 100% as if she's a potential relationship and you are figuring out on whether or not you'd both fit with each other. Don't try to help her/feel pity for her when she is normal, only when she is asking for it or if you realise something is on her mind. Keeping them separate will eventually help you figure out your real feelings for her and if it is something you want to try out.

    • Re: ...Help!

      Okay today she told me she wanted to be my friend only, and I understand that, but on a level I cant really let it go like that. I think she needs a friend right now with all the things she's going through so Im willing to wait and still help her, but what do I do with the feelings that make me want to be more than friends with her?
      [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
      How far do you want me to suppress myself so that you'll be satisfied?

    • Re: ...Help!

      Takumi Usui wrote:

      I asked here why all of a sudden. And simply said I just want to be your friend. I'm confused about how to really approach this though...


      So would I, and It seems TH has let you down as of your last post being unanswered... Unfortunately I don't know what to tell you, but I will revive the thread with this post.