Is it ok for me to be mad, and what should I do with him??

    • Is it ok for me to be mad, and what should I do with him??

      So one of my very close friends that I've had a crush on for a while now finally asked me on a date this weekend. We planned this a week ago. Naturally, I was excited, and I agreed to it. However, two days before we were supposed to go out, he said that he wouldn't be able to make it because 1) it was his best friend's birthday the night before, and they were going to go partying and 2) he has exam finals the upcoming week, and his mom wants him to spend the rest of the weekend studying.

      Of course I was disappointed but I understood (though the first reason kind of made me upset). We rescheduled our date for next weekend. However, I still wanted to see him, so we agreed that we'd hang out at a local parade the day after his friend's party this weekend.

      He just told me he won't be able to make it because he's recovering from his "crazy night" with his friends. I don't normally get mad, and I had a feeling this was going to happen, but I'm starting to get really upset with him. This isn't the first time he's flaked on me. If we were just friends, I'd be ok with it, but things are starting to develop romantically and I'm not sure if this is what I want in a relationship. I've never been in a real relationship before, so I don't really know what I should do. I've been told just to be mad at him and ignore him completely, but I'm not sure if that's right... so what should I do?

      I've never been in a real relationship before, and I have a feeling that if things work out it will be a long and happy relationship, since we've been best friends for four years. I want this to work out, but I'm not sure. Please help. D:

    • Re: Is it ok for me to be mad, and what should I do with him??

      You haven't truly gotten involved romantically a whole lot yet, you're still just best friends with incentives that you like eachother; but that doesnt shy away from the fact that he ditched out on you.

      Now now, dont worry. I myself know how frustrating it is to have someone cancel plans abruptly before, and actually, I've had it happen 4 times in a row with cancellations only hours or minutes before the time we designated (obviously I called her out on it), but the fact of the matter is; just be patient.

      He asked for one date, and he opted out for legitimate reasons. Studying is important. Unfortunately. xD

      The second date however, not so legitimate; though still. This is where patience comes into play. While this is the second time he's done it; have you ever heard of the baseball rule? Three strikes, you're out? I believe in this situation, thats the best way to go about it.

      The first opt out was understandable. The second opt out was makeshift at best. Now, if there is a third; call him out on it, no hesitation; and just truthfully and plainfully ask "What's going on? We were supposed to date three times, and we havent. I'm really starting to get frustrated". If he doesnt opt out again, then you got a date, and I hope everything goes well :)

      Just give him one last chance before calling him out on it. The first time was beyond his control after all.

    • Re: Is it ok for me to be mad, and what should I do with him??

      I'd say give him 1 more strike; if he flakes once more, then he isnt worth your time, because you arent worth his. Studying i'd understand, but the rest is just BS. The party can fly MAYBE, except that if hes getting so hammered that he needs a day to recover he isn't the best thing that's going to happen to you.