Hows this love poem?

    • Hows this love poem?

      Hi, new here, so take it easy?
      Anyway, there is this girl I really like and in a moment of sappiness a while back, I wrote this about her. She will most likely never see it (since it would be kinda wierd/creepy. Still, I would like to get some input. So, how is it?

      When I first met you a while
      back, ________[I removed the name. Suffice to say it rhymes with 'be']
      I wondered who that beautiful girl could possibly be

      Then I got to know you, and came to understand
      There was none like you in all the land

      (Cliche, I know, but what can I do?
      It's what comes to me when I think of you)

      So I wrote you something (hope it doesn't sound hollow
      It's a little poem, and goes as follows:

      As I gaze up at night at the stars in the sky,
      I am fondly reminded of your shining eyes

      Your smile could open hearts like doors
      And all beauty pales when compared to yours

      Your laughter fills the whole world with joy
      And brightens even the worst of days

      You're so kind, and nice, and friendly too
      In fact, I've never met a girl quite like you

      If there another way to say it, I don't know how
      So I'll go ahead and stop writing now :)




      So that's it. Its not really complete since it was a kind of spur-of-the-moment thing, and some of the rhyming might be sort of weird but whatever. :)

    • Re: Hows this love poem?

      thatbobguy wrote:

      I don't know. I just figured that showing this to a girl who I'm not dating would be kinda creepy


      Simply depends on your relationship with the girl, how well you known her, her feelings towards you and so forth. I'll be the first to be completely honest with you, it's a sweet gesture but I'd never let the poem itself see the light of day, at least not until things work out (if they do at all.)

      You never know how someone is going to react, everyone is different. Generally, you're not going to share something like this unless you're completely confident in your relationship with that person, extremely comfortable. As I said, sweet gesture but don't show it to her, not yet anyways.

    • Re: Hows this love poem?

      Raylan Givens wrote:

      Simply depends on your relationship with the girl, how well you known her, her feelings towards you and so forth. I'll be the first to be completely honest with you, it's a sweet gesture but I'd never let the poem itself see the light of day, at least not until things work out (if they do at all.)

      You never know how someone is going to react, everyone is different. Generally, you're not going to share something like this unless you're completely confident in your relationship with that person, extremely comfortable. As I said, sweet gesture but don't show it to her, not yet anyways.


      Exactly my feelings.

    • Re: Hows this love poem?

      Raylan Givens wrote:

      Well then, what about the girl herself, what's the situation with her? If you're willing to share.


      Sure, I guess. Why not?
      I've known her for about a half a year. We have a couple classes together, and we talk quite a bit. We've got a couple inside jokes already, she laughs at certain things I say, occasionally she'll doodle a thing or two on one of my papers (a cat, a dash of glitter, etc? She's just that kind of friendly person, so I don't know if it means much) (I'm really just throwing things out now) I asked her to an upcoming dance, but found out that she isn't planing on going at all(still bummed about that). I would rate us somewhere between close aquaintences and casual friends? Maybe a bit closer to the second one? Not ideal, I know, but maybe I'm being conservative. As for how I feel about her, well, does the poem explain that? :)
      So, what's the verdict?

    • Re: Hows this love poem?

      thatbobguy wrote:

      Sure, I guess. Why not?
      I've known her for about a half a year. We have a couple classes together, and we talk quite a bit. We've got a couple inside jokes already, she laughs at certain things I say, occasionally she'll doodle a thing or two on one of my papers (a cat, a dash of glitter, etc? She's just that kind of friendly person, so I don't know if it means much) (I'm really just throwing things out now) I asked her to an upcoming dance, but found out that she isn't planing on going at all(still bummed about that). I would rate us somewhere between close aquaintences and casual friends? Maybe a bit closer to the second one? Not ideal, I know, but maybe I'm being conservative. As for how I feel about her, well, does the poem explain that? :)
      So, what's the verdict?



      I'd say the verdict is, you're at that point where you need to decide what you're going to do. If you're willing to jeopardize your friendship to admit your feelings towards her or not. Everything is easier said than done so. I don't expect you to be able to come right out and tell her that you like her. I'd advise you try to get closer with her, maybe text her, if you don't already. (I'd figure after half a year that'd be okay/cool/normal.)

      Find out as much as you possibly can about her, eventually though you're going to have to come out and tell her, if you plan on actually attempting to date her at all. Rejection isn't the best thing in the world but I don't believe you should go into a situation with such things on your mind, it hinders your ability to be yourself, which is most important.

      Man-up pretty much, and hope for the best. I'm not telling you anything you don't already know, it's just based on how you handle the situation and if you're willing to take that next step.

      The post was edited 2 times, last by Raylan Givens ().

    • Re: Hows this love poem?

      A lot of it is a little mushy gushy... the part where you were like "cliché but I don't care" was pretty awesome.. Uhm, idk just tone down the mushyness. At the end of the day people are gonna care about the story. Not how much you were infatuated with her.

      Not coming from an expert or anything. I'm no poet... just my opinion......

    • Re: Hows this love poem?

      On an related note, though it's about the same girl: (you guys seems helpful when it comes to this stuff :))
      So last Friday I asked this girl to a formal, and she said she wasn't going, etc. So basically, she rejected me. I took it well enough, I think. I said it was fine, smiled, and we continued on our ways (it was right after class). Now, it just so happens that my family is doing renovating my room, so I had to move out of it and sleep on the couch. Keep this in mind.
      Continuing, along comes Monday, and I am exhausted. Like, I got 8 hours of sleep in three nights, combined. And during one of our classes together, I notice shes acting oddly. Not talking to me, not looking at me, etc. I figure whatever, might still be kinda awkward.
      Then today, a mutual friend tells me that this girl was going on and on to him that she feels kind of bad about rejecting me. I wonder why, and then it hits me. I've been acting lethargic, and unhappy, a byproduct of the sleep deprivation, but she must have taken it to mean that I was really depressed about it.
      So, my question: How do I stop her from feeling bad about it, without letting her know that I know? Sure I'm kinda bummed, but I don't want her to feel bad. That makes me feel horrible. Its her right to deny anyone she wants, without any guilt.

    • Re: Hows this love poem?

      thatbobguy wrote:

      On an related note, though it's about the same girl: (you guys seems helpful when it comes to this stuff :))
      So last Friday I asked this girl to a formal, and she said she wasn't going, etc. So basically, she rejected me. I took it well enough, I think. I said it was fine, smiled, and we continued on our ways (it was right after class). Now, it just so happens that my family is doing renovating my room, so I had to move out of it and sleep on the couch. Keep this in mind.
      Continuing, along comes Monday, and I am exhausted. Like, I got 8 hours of sleep in three nights, combined. And during one of our classes together, I notice shes acting oddly. Not talking to me, not looking at me, etc. I figure whatever, might still be kinda awkward.
      Then today, a mutual friend tells me that this girl was going on and on to him that she feels kind of bad about rejecting me. I wonder why, and then it hits me. I've been acting lethargic, and unhappy, a byproduct of the sleep deprivation, but she must have taken it to mean that I was really depressed about it.
      So, my question: How do I stop her from feeling bad about it, without letting her know that I know? Sure I'm kinda bummed, but I don't want her to feel bad. That makes me feel horrible. Its her right to deny anyone she wants, without any guilt.


      Hmmmmmm. I think u might be reading to much into it. Anything heard from behind someones back is risky info to use and you risk making a mistake basing a decision/move off it.

      but, lets say its good info and is true: I would stick it out a little longer and don't say anything or act like you know. If you were acting different than it makes sense why she acted different. Try returning things to normal if you can and see how she reacts. If things go back to normal let it go. If she still acts odd than maybe confront her about it.

      It's a real risk but it's worked for me on occasion. You confront her about acting strange and ask her if it's because you asked her to a dance. If it's why she was acting strange she will be caught off guard. Then you throw in something like, "You know, I kinda have been crushing on you to be honest. I don't know how you feel but getting to know you has been nice and your a really great person. But, If your not interested I understand so you don't have to act weird around me."

      more or less something like that. It's nice cause you get your feelings out in the open and give her a choice. Keep you as a friend (good option) or pursue a romance (best option) worst case scenario she's weirded out by you after that and the friendship is ruined. But if she was still acting odd toward you their is a good chance she was already turned off and u weren't gonna get anything out of it anyway.

      So basically see how it goes. and if things look odd still try and salvage your friendship directly and maybe toss in ur feelings for her to see as well.

      Idk if this is great advice but it's more or less what I would do.

      Good luck

    • Re: Hows this love poem?

      thatbobguy wrote:

      On an related note, though it's about the same girl: (you guys seems helpful when it comes to this stuff :))
      So last Friday I asked this girl to a formal, and she said she wasn't going, etc. So basically, she rejected me. I took it well enough, I think. I said it was fine, smiled, and we continued on our ways (it was right after class). Now, it just so happens that my family is doing renovating my room, so I had to move out of it and sleep on the couch. Keep this in mind.
      Continuing, along comes Monday, and I am exhausted. Like, I got 8 hours of sleep in three nights, combined. And during one of our classes together, I notice shes acting oddly. Not talking to me, not looking at me, etc. I figure whatever, might still be kinda awkward.
      Then today, a mutual friend tells me that this girl was going on and on to him that she feels kind of bad about rejecting me. I wonder why, and then it hits me. I've been acting lethargic, and unhappy, a byproduct of the sleep deprivation, but she must have taken it to mean that I was really depressed about it.
      So, my question: How do I stop her from feeling bad about it, without letting her know that I know? Sure I'm kinda bummed, but I don't want her to feel bad. That makes me feel horrible. Its her right to deny anyone she wants, without any guilt.


      There is only so much beating around the bush bruh, she could not be paying attention to you due to the fact that she feels bad, or you could be too worried about the issue. Eventually, you have to confront her about it, ask her, talk to her, do what you have to do because truly that's the only way you will figure out anything.