I'm just looking to see if this is any sort of a normal feeling, as it's been getting just more intense for the past six months and I haven't really been able to talk to anyone about it. I apologize in advance for the length! I'll try to be as clear as possible for ease of reading.

In the beginning of the last summer I met a guy at a two week long exchange student camp. He was outgoing, attractive, and I really enjoyed talking to him. Now, since I'd promised myself not to develop any feelings toward someone who lived across the ocean, I was didn't realize right away that I was developing feelings beyond being extremely attracted to him. I just figured that my annoyance at him talking to other girls was just because they were annoying or something. At any rate, I went through the entire camp plus a week back at home in denial about it; my best friend alerting me to the fact that I was talking about him an awful lot for me to reevaluate my feelings. Once I did I realized that my irritation was jealousy I was forced to admit to myself that I actually liked him.

This wouldn't have been bad and would have completely disappeared if it didn't turn out that he was staying in my hometown with my relatives for a month after the camp. I ended up seeing him everywhere, talking to him, flirting outrageously, and generally just having an excellent time. I hadn't had such butterflies around anyone ever in my life, despite having been in a relationship before. He complemented me near perfectly, and if I was one to believe in love at first sight, I would have labelled it that. It felt, and still does, feel like fate. I've met guys after who have shown interest in me, but none of them measure up to the level of intense emotion I felt with this foreign boy.

We never actually confirmed any feelings. He asked me out on a non-date that didn't end up happening. I asked him out on one, which didn't end up working out either. He left without me getting to tell him how I felt, or even just tell him goodbye. It was extremely painful for two or three weeks afterward until I found a way to mentally "stick him in a box" to keep me from missing him so much. II didn't contact him again, nor he me. It was just like our entire interaction never happened.

Now, just this past week I found out that I actually got accepted to the school in his country that I applied at during the camp last summer. I'm going to be there for a year. When I posted about it on facebook he commented on my status telling me that he was happy about me coming and that he'd see me there. It immediately brought back all of the feelings I'd worked so hard to suppress, and now I'm stuck here wondering yet again if he's truly worth all of this. I have a niggling feeling that he might be (for lack of a better term) "the one", but I'm really afraid to think that.

Could I seriously dream up all these feelings by myself? It's still a half a year until I leave, and I don't want them to sit inside me simmering and multiplying if it's likely that he doesn't feel similarly. I guess I just want some insight on whether this is a normal situation for a teenage girl and whether or not I should try to squash these feelings back into their box or not!

Thanks for reading. Much love.

Ahh, that's a relief to hear! Sometimes things feel all blown out of perspective when you don't talk about them. I think I'll probably just deal with the feelings. Hopefully admitting them and the possibility of them being very one-sided to myself stop them from being so bittersweet.

We'll see about whether they're absolute or not when I see him next. As of right now I'm just trying to not stop myself from thinking about them! No more shutting them up for me!