I do. And it's making life so difficult it's ridiculous.
I'm at a point in life where I'm trying to figure myself out and the world, much like most teens I guess. That entails making mistakes, inevitably, and learning from them, too.
The problem with that is that we all have ego/pride (whatever you call it) and sometimes, it just stands in the way.
Admitting that I’m wrong to other people just feels so wrong. So embarrassing. So humiliating. It’s to the point I grew up to be one of those annoying people that even keep defending something that they know is incorrect just so that they wouldn’t have to acknowledge that they are wrong in a debate, sometimes.
Or when I’ve adamantly been defending something I truly believed to be right and my opponent just strikes me down with that argument I would have never seen coming to which the only thing I can reply is silence… I just feel like dying . Right there.
Apologizing… The situation of the other person being “above” me, looking down upon me thinking about whether they should reject me or not… It’s surreal. The awkwardness I feel is too big to put into words. It’s that disgusting feeling that mercilessly wrenches your insides and drains you of all your energy. It’s just pure humiliation.
Even acknowledging my wrongs to myself is a problem, so how could I find it easy to acknowledge my wrongs to others? When something goes wrong I always do everything to convince myself that it was other people who were at fault. The idea that I might have been wrong just awakens the viscera-eating monster feeling again and so I double my efforts to look for ways to prove that I’m right to calm it down.
And only to make it worse, I have pretty low self-confidence, so even when I’m right during an argument I tend to have a feeling that the other probably knows better and that I’m talking nonsense.
This is why I feel an enormous amount of stress when I have to debate something with other people. I’m just scared of being wrong again, of coming across as stupid, of feeling stupid.
The worst part is that I don’t even know why I feel so bad about making mistakes and admitting it to others. When I re-read myself, I have a feeling that I’m making a huge deal out of something ludicrously insignificant, yet no matter what my brains tell me, my emotions just keep acting stupid and making me feel bad.
It’s making it really hard for me to evolve and mature with time, for you need to learn from your mistakes and thus have to be able to admit that you made a mistake in the first place.
My fear of humiliation and embarrassment also makes it so that I have social anxiety (kind of) which makes it also really hard for me to just go out there, make friends and have fun without caring so much.
I feel like I’m missing out on life.
It just ruins my life and gets in the way.
I’m sorry for repeating and writing so much, but I’m frustrated and venting…
So my questions are:
1. Do you have trouble admitting you were wrong to yourself and others and apologizing for your wrongs, too?
Please, tell me how you feel then, even if you don’t have advice, just reading that there are other people like me could be comforting already.
2. Or do you, much to the contrary, admit you’re wrong and apologize without a blush or even a hint of embarrassment?
If you do, know that people like you are a myth to me… Tell me more about it in your post, please. I’ve always thought that feeling at least some embarrassment in such a situation is something everybody does, but maybe I’m unfairly generalizing my experience. And I hope I am! Reading your posts might give me more hope that I’ll be able to stop acting so crazy and just be a normal human being one day.
3. Do you have advice with regards to how I could stop feeling so humiliated, embarrassed and awkward when I’m wrong (and have to acknowledge it and apologize for my mistake)?
4. Do you know too why feelings of embarrassment and humiliation often result from admitting to making a mistake and being wrong?
I’ve always thought you need to identify the cause of a problem before being able to solve it, hence the question.
I'm at a point in life where I'm trying to figure myself out and the world, much like most teens I guess. That entails making mistakes, inevitably, and learning from them, too.
The problem with that is that we all have ego/pride (whatever you call it) and sometimes, it just stands in the way.
Admitting that I’m wrong to other people just feels so wrong. So embarrassing. So humiliating. It’s to the point I grew up to be one of those annoying people that even keep defending something that they know is incorrect just so that they wouldn’t have to acknowledge that they are wrong in a debate, sometimes.
Or when I’ve adamantly been defending something I truly believed to be right and my opponent just strikes me down with that argument I would have never seen coming to which the only thing I can reply is silence… I just feel like dying . Right there.
Apologizing… The situation of the other person being “above” me, looking down upon me thinking about whether they should reject me or not… It’s surreal. The awkwardness I feel is too big to put into words. It’s that disgusting feeling that mercilessly wrenches your insides and drains you of all your energy. It’s just pure humiliation.
Even acknowledging my wrongs to myself is a problem, so how could I find it easy to acknowledge my wrongs to others? When something goes wrong I always do everything to convince myself that it was other people who were at fault. The idea that I might have been wrong just awakens the viscera-eating monster feeling again and so I double my efforts to look for ways to prove that I’m right to calm it down.
And only to make it worse, I have pretty low self-confidence, so even when I’m right during an argument I tend to have a feeling that the other probably knows better and that I’m talking nonsense.
This is why I feel an enormous amount of stress when I have to debate something with other people. I’m just scared of being wrong again, of coming across as stupid, of feeling stupid.
The worst part is that I don’t even know why I feel so bad about making mistakes and admitting it to others. When I re-read myself, I have a feeling that I’m making a huge deal out of something ludicrously insignificant, yet no matter what my brains tell me, my emotions just keep acting stupid and making me feel bad.
It’s making it really hard for me to evolve and mature with time, for you need to learn from your mistakes and thus have to be able to admit that you made a mistake in the first place.
My fear of humiliation and embarrassment also makes it so that I have social anxiety (kind of) which makes it also really hard for me to just go out there, make friends and have fun without caring so much.
I feel like I’m missing out on life.
It just ruins my life and gets in the way.
I’m sorry for repeating and writing so much, but I’m frustrated and venting…
So my questions are:
1. Do you have trouble admitting you were wrong to yourself and others and apologizing for your wrongs, too?
Please, tell me how you feel then, even if you don’t have advice, just reading that there are other people like me could be comforting already.
2. Or do you, much to the contrary, admit you’re wrong and apologize without a blush or even a hint of embarrassment?
If you do, know that people like you are a myth to me… Tell me more about it in your post, please. I’ve always thought that feeling at least some embarrassment in such a situation is something everybody does, but maybe I’m unfairly generalizing my experience. And I hope I am! Reading your posts might give me more hope that I’ll be able to stop acting so crazy and just be a normal human being one day.
3. Do you have advice with regards to how I could stop feeling so humiliated, embarrassed and awkward when I’m wrong (and have to acknowledge it and apologize for my mistake)?
4. Do you know too why feelings of embarrassment and humiliation often result from admitting to making a mistake and being wrong?
I’ve always thought you need to identify the cause of a problem before being able to solve it, hence the question.
Sorry for such a long post though, I was just.. reflecting and realizing more things. 