My friend's in denial - how can I help?

    • My friend's in denial - how can I help?

      Okay, I'm pretty much 100% sure my best girl friend is a lesbian. Problem is, she won't admit it (even to me, and I'm the only person she trusts) I'm getting really worried about her. How can I help her through this? Please respond with ideas on how I can help her?


      Btw: I'm not asking for people's opinions on whether she is or is not a lesbian. I know it's her thing to figure out and not mine - hell, maybe shes not a lesbian and I've made a mistake. Either way, I'm not looking for judgement on wherther she is or is not, I'm not here to list the many things which have lead me to believe that she maybe be a lesbian.

      I'm just looking for advice on what I should/could do if my friend was in the closet and struggling with her sexuality.

    • Re: My friend's in denial - how can I help?

      Oh no don't worry, It's not about whether she's straight or lesbian or bi - I'm perfectly fine with whatever her sexuality. I'm worried because she's being acting worryingly lately, she never likes guys, therefore she treats them like they're disposable, plays them off against each other and it's resulte in some our guy friends getting pretty hurt. Also she started considering having sex with this guy who she doesn't even like just to "get it out the way" (long story)

      I'm worried because she can be quite homophobic, I doubt her family would be very accepting, but I can see her staying in denial forever, marrying a guy and messing him around to avoid it. I was just wondering how I can support her and make her see it's okay to be gay?

    • Re: My friend's in denial - how can I help?

      I think you should let her figure that out herself first if she if a lesbian.
      And to show her you are okay with it then just talk with her about some example that you maybe saw it somewhere (or in a movie/tv whatever) that ppl are or not accepting gay/lesbians and that you should be all okay with it. just to give her the idea that you are okay with it.
      [CENTER]It's the missing that will kill you,
      knowing you've missed your shot.
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    • Re: My friend's in denial - how can I help?

      (8)jaseyrae<3 wrote:

      Oh no don't worry, It's not about whether she's straight or lesbian or bi - I'm perfectly fine with whatever her sexuality. I'm worried because she's being acting worryingly lately, she never likes guys, therefore she treats them like they're disposable, plays them off against each other and it's resulte in some our guy friends getting pretty hurt. Also she started considering having sex with this guy who she doesn't even like just to "get it out the way" (long story)

      I'm worried because she can be quite homophobic, I doubt her family would be very accepting, but I can see her staying in denial forever, marrying a guy and messing him around to avoid it. I was just wondering how I can support her and make her see it's okay to be gay?


      She sounds awesome.

    • Re: My friend's in denial - how can I help?

      (8)jaseyrae<3 wrote:

      Oh no don't worry, It's not about whether she's straight or lesbian or bi - I'm perfectly fine with whatever her sexuality. I'm worried because she's being acting worryingly lately, she never likes guys, therefore she treats them like they're disposable, plays them off against each other and it's resulte in some our guy friends getting pretty hurt. Also she started considering having sex with this guy who she doesn't even like just to "get it out the way" (long story)

      I'm worried because she can be quite homophobic, I doubt her family would be very accepting, but I can see her staying in denial forever, marrying a guy and messing him around to avoid it. I was just wondering how I can support her and make her see it's okay to be gay?


      If she is a lesbian, her parents should accept she is, it isn't a choice, its what you're born as. You can't help but have a psychical connection to the same gender.
      [COLOR="Black"][FONT="Courier New"][SIZE="4"]"The pursuit of happiness is a most ridiculous phrase; if you pursue happiness you'll never find it."[/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR]

    • Re: My friend's in denial - how can I help?

      Mrs. Butterworth wrote:

      She sounds awesome.


      Haha, I'm sure she is :)

      Since she's homophobic herself, you might want to tread lightly on the gay topic, but somehow just let her know that you are okay with it. Maybe you can tell her that you know someone or you're related to someone who is gay and let her know that you still love and care for them the same way you would if they were straight. I have a cousin that came out to everyone and when I saw that my mom was okay with that, it kind of paved the way for me to come out to her, although she did find out on her own.

      Don't push the subject, if she's not interested in girls that's fine too. Hey at least maybe she'll see that it's okay if people are gay and she'll be less homophobic . Win - Win. Obviously nothing is wrong with being gay and if she thinks so it is probably because of people around her or her parents pushing their opinions on to her.
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