Okay, so I guess ever since I was 3, I was abused by my father. I don't mean spanks, I mean hitting against walls, choked with wires, drowning me etc.
He really hated me and wanted me to die, up until I was 8 he stopped the abuse, but still hit me and slapped me. I would usually make up lies to my friends and teachers when they ask, such as I fell, etc. My father and mother would insult me, call me ugly, fat, stupid, worthless, a bitch etc. When I was 8, I cut for the very first time...I tried to kill myself, 8 years old....yeah, I knew a lot...I was a book reader, and as alone all the other kids...I would bottle it up inside. By the time I was 13 I had tried suicide over 13 times. I am now 15, and I have attempted suicide 16 times. I self-harm and have an eating disorder.
Bullying started in Grade 4, from my cuts, bleeds, and eating disorder.
I'm actually glad I'm alive. You know why? Its because it could have been my sisters fighting for there lives, cutting, eating disorder, trying to kill themselves. thats the last thing I'd want. My sisters mean everything to me, and I never plan on letting them go.
Yet cutting is addictive, I am depressed most of the time...my dad went to prison, for child abuse. The self-harm....I can't stop, theres a voice in the back of my head saying I'm horrible, fat, disgusting, ugly etc. I choose to believe it...because I can't stop believing it...you have no idea what it feels like...nobody understands my pain.
I can't be happy anymore like I used to, actually...I don't think I've had a real smile on my face before. Its hard to believe, but I am not a humerus person...I'm fun...funny myself, just I don't feel it.
I used to have a boyfriend, I loved him...but when I told him this, he immediately left me...I feel lost and alone. I feel like nobody loves me.
I'm not a therapist, but I will promise you this, if you go through what I do, I promise I will care. I will listen to you.
I'll always be here for anyone who needs me, I'll always be a helping hand or a listening ear. Because I know what it feels like to believe nobody cares. I know what its like to feel alone, suffocated in your own thoughts. I know how just one person can change someones life. I'm here for anyone that needs me, just to prove that compassion still exists. I'm here for you.
I am worthless, nobody cares.
He really hated me and wanted me to die, up until I was 8 he stopped the abuse, but still hit me and slapped me. I would usually make up lies to my friends and teachers when they ask, such as I fell, etc. My father and mother would insult me, call me ugly, fat, stupid, worthless, a bitch etc. When I was 8, I cut for the very first time...I tried to kill myself, 8 years old....yeah, I knew a lot...I was a book reader, and as alone all the other kids...I would bottle it up inside. By the time I was 13 I had tried suicide over 13 times. I am now 15, and I have attempted suicide 16 times. I self-harm and have an eating disorder.
Bullying started in Grade 4, from my cuts, bleeds, and eating disorder.
I'm actually glad I'm alive. You know why? Its because it could have been my sisters fighting for there lives, cutting, eating disorder, trying to kill themselves. thats the last thing I'd want. My sisters mean everything to me, and I never plan on letting them go.
Yet cutting is addictive, I am depressed most of the time...my dad went to prison, for child abuse. The self-harm....I can't stop, theres a voice in the back of my head saying I'm horrible, fat, disgusting, ugly etc. I choose to believe it...because I can't stop believing it...you have no idea what it feels like...nobody understands my pain.
I can't be happy anymore like I used to, actually...I don't think I've had a real smile on my face before. Its hard to believe, but I am not a humerus person...I'm fun...funny myself, just I don't feel it.
I used to have a boyfriend, I loved him...but when I told him this, he immediately left me...I feel lost and alone. I feel like nobody loves me.
I'm not a therapist, but I will promise you this, if you go through what I do, I promise I will care. I will listen to you.
I'll always be here for anyone who needs me, I'll always be a helping hand or a listening ear. Because I know what it feels like to believe nobody cares. I know what its like to feel alone, suffocated in your own thoughts. I know how just one person can change someones life. I'm here for anyone that needs me, just to prove that compassion still exists. I'm here for you.
I am worthless, nobody cares.
[COLOR="Black"][FONT="Courier New"][SIZE="4"]"The pursuit of happiness is a most ridiculous phrase; if you pursue happiness you'll never find it."[/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR]