I'm going to attempt to shorten this story, so I don't drive away readers, bc I'd really love some advice.
Basically I was in love with this girl for a while, longer than I'd like to admit without being embarrassed. And I did (and I guess I still do) consider her the ideal girl in my mind (maybe bc of my limerence, debatable). Recently I decided it was time to move on, so I told myself I did and tried to forget about her. But I ended up slipping, and regressing. Which I hated.
So just before midnight on December 20th (c'mon, the world was going to end) I told how I felt, and she responds the next day saying she's never felt anything more than a close friend towards me (we're good friends on a swim team together). So I thought that was it, and I just had to get over it.
Now if we backtrack to November, I commit and enter a relationship, which is technically a gay one, though I still identify myself as straight, as does he. But he and I have a healthy relationship, coming up on 5 months. I love him to death, I really do. I feel so strongly towards him, and I just care so much.
The issue I've been having lately is that I keep looking at my life and regretting not taking other opportunities, opportunities to date girls I liked or could have liked. Is it bad to feel this way? I don't want to break up with him, it would kill us both, but idk, sometimes our relationship just feels different.
Any ideas?
Basically I was in love with this girl for a while, longer than I'd like to admit without being embarrassed. And I did (and I guess I still do) consider her the ideal girl in my mind (maybe bc of my limerence, debatable). Recently I decided it was time to move on, so I told myself I did and tried to forget about her. But I ended up slipping, and regressing. Which I hated.
So just before midnight on December 20th (c'mon, the world was going to end) I told how I felt, and she responds the next day saying she's never felt anything more than a close friend towards me (we're good friends on a swim team together). So I thought that was it, and I just had to get over it.
Now if we backtrack to November, I commit and enter a relationship, which is technically a gay one, though I still identify myself as straight, as does he. But he and I have a healthy relationship, coming up on 5 months. I love him to death, I really do. I feel so strongly towards him, and I just care so much.
The issue I've been having lately is that I keep looking at my life and regretting not taking other opportunities, opportunities to date girls I liked or could have liked. Is it bad to feel this way? I don't want to break up with him, it would kill us both, but idk, sometimes our relationship just feels different.
Any ideas?