It just seems that after my brother, Andrew, died everything started to go downhill. I can't even stand being awake knowing he's not going to come see me today. At least when I go to sleep, I have him there & he can't leave me. He was my world, he was my father figure when I was little bitty. & he's always watched out for me no matter what I did wrong. & it just seems now that he's gone everyone is filled with so much angst & bitterness that we can't even stand to be around each other anymore. My whole family is falling apart now. I feel like I have no one left but my nephews & niece he left behind, along with his wife. I try so hard to make sure that everyday they're doing okay, but it's so hard to try to keep up with them when I can't even keep up with myself. It seems when everything was going great, everything goes wrong. I just don't understand why it fucking had to be him. Whatever kind of "higher power" there is up there is fucking twisted & sick. Ahh. I need to quit now...

I won't cut anymore, I refuse to.
Exactly why I posted this thread here.
I realized how fucking dumb it made me feel a long time ago.
Not only that, I realized how bad it hurt everyone around me, including myself.

& I won't chance hurting eveyone around me more than they already are.
Which, once again, is why I am venting.

Thanks.
I'll add you sometime when I'm on the other computer.

Aweee.
Let me get that eyelash out for you.
I'd add you now but there's no AIM on here.

lol. Jingle Bell Rock is the shizz.

Thanks, sweetie. <33

I know it.
Thnx baybay.
(That so made me think of A BAY BAY!)