Ok so.... i just feel like writing about this for some reason, writing about my shit tends to give me a tiny sense of relief so... please don't comment... please don't even like either
Sigh* Remembering all those memories we had when we were younger.
About 11 years ago I met Olivia, we weren't very fond of each other at first,
the first thing she said to me was "BEANIE! THATS MINE!" as she ripped "The Rainbow-fish" book out of my hands,
i remember us always bickering and annoying each-other.
Then lol one day we were assigned to write "what we like about ???" and i got Olive.
i wracked my brain "what was there to like about Olivia?". saying that "i like olivia because we both liked reading" wouldn't work, it just wouldn't suffice.
I didn't really understand it, it was easy to think about what i liked about Aliesha and Courtney, i could even think about something for "Monkey ears" Brently, but... i was assigned Olive.
I sat closer to her to see what she wrote for her person, turns out she was like-wise assigned Me to write about.
I remember seeing her fidgeting in her chair, the lines of the paper still completely empty, whats weird was that she was a better writer than I, and even she couldn't think of something to write about.
When she noticed that i was looking at her piece i gave an awkward smile and she gave me this huge grin and giggled. I had what i wanted to write.
"I like Olivia because she has a nice smile"
After, she came up to me and said "Hey Smiley Boy, what did you end up writing about?"
I say "your smile", she smiled again and said "i wrote about your smile too"
The word "Cooties" is forever branded in my mind. what was bad about playing with a girl?
i remember protesting with the other boys to allow her to play 4-square with us.
"Cooties arent even real" i defend, and see her smile again, i pass the ball to her and we walked off.
THEN effing (what ever his name was) sprints towards her, knocks her over and takes the ball(I WAS FUCKEN INFURIATED) what-ever-his-name-was the stoops over her and says
"See you're just a little girl with coot-"
WHAM!
i punched him in the face.
haha when i helped her up she said "You're gonna get in troubblllllleeeeeee" i gave her a huge smile and said that it was worth it.
she smiled back and said "you're not worried about cooties?"
we became very very close friends,
we were inseparable, always getting each-other into trouble and laughing about it later.
On our first day of high-school my father dropped us off and thankfully we were in the same core class: 9TU
she was such a weirdo in highschool,
i started noticing* girls and whenever a girl would walk past us and smile at me, olive would always pretend to choke on something.
her criticisms were always just "Really Smiley boy? HER?"
in year ten, when i traversed into the other side of the teenage world, i developed a "reputation" with girls and
at lunches i would sometimes ditch to pursue ummm "things" and olive wasnt really proud of having that kind of friend and started to drift away.
We would still smile at eachother when ever there was a chance, but we were too endorsed in different worlds of the teen society.
When the 2013 FAHS ball was announced we had 5 months to ask someone out, i wasnt planning on going, i didnt really "like" anyone enough for them to actually go out with me.
but one day when me and my mother were going grocery chopping i noticed someone i hadn't really noticed before.
there she was absolutely stunningly beautiful.... sweet,funny and her smile lighting up the room, beckoning me forward.
When i asked her to go to the ball with me she said "took you long enough smiley boy"
we started to actually date. We then began a 4 month relationship that I can only describe as the
highest of highs and the lowest of lows....in the beginning all was
good- the woman of dreams, she wanted the same things I did. All was good.
we went to the movies and saw "the Great Gatsby" we sat right at the back, practically laughing the entire time, just remembering all the fun things we got up too. It was blissful heaven being with her.
The day of the ball i hired a limo(yes i'm classy)
she wore a very pretty purple dress with a black waist thingy, and i wore a tux.
the funniest thing about the dance was when they started playing the "Macarena", some girls dance erotically to the most strangest things.
then the song "Aloha oe" came on, thats when me and olive kissed for the first time(well the first time i kissed her on the lips)
The school spent nearly $7000 on this amazing band afterwards and that was fantastic too.
The Catering was great, they had Cherry pie... flwnelnflwenljwgnwjeg so effing good.
We went to an after party which was crap because the school decided to ring the police and tell them to patrol the town, so the party ended very quickly.
Olivia's father and mother were on holiday and she had a spare key to the house so we spent the rest of the night there.
Then... little things started happening. She would blow off dates at the
last second. She would have weird feelings about things she loved, ignore my attention, she would miss school for days, or just out of the blue go home during class.... I can go on and on- but the long
and short of it was, that she was pregnant. the one and only time we had sex together got her pregnant.
When we discovered this... our entire lives turned upside down.
My father kicked me out, my brother kicked himself out, my mother gave me the silent treatment for ages, olivia just shut me out and neglected me, no matter how i tried to support her, i even asked if we should get married. Her father said that i ruined her life, he was a stupid imfgwngwng OF A FATHER! he decided it was in her best interest to abort the baby and leave. LEAVE! AND SHE AGREED! my beloved friend was willing to leave just leave me like that. I wasnt able to change her mind. on the 25th of november she agreed to meet me... but it was just to say goodbye, The only and last thing she said to me was "Goodbye B'ni" NO HUG, NO KISS, just... just a stupid "goodbye" it wasn't enough. she got in her dads car and left. that was the last time i ever saw her. Its been 3 years now. i had to go back to the normal B'ni. no-one i have met since then has remotely amounted to the appreciation i gave olivia. People arent really interested in just being friends either. i'm just a "score"
My school also didnt know why she left, they thought "oh she just had to move to a better school". some people even thought it was a good thing she left for some reason. that was the year i sorta went over board.
it wasnt until the end of this year they learned what actually happened and i was immediately shunned and isolated and i was categorized as a stupid slut that gets girls pregnant. I have never been treated worse. i dont really care tbh. I'm not phased by peoples opinions of me. i just dont like it when they talk about her in the same manner. i miss her.
i wonder if she's happy, if she still smiles that cute smile
if she's met someone. If i could see her again.
and If she misses me.
doubt it.
i ruined her life.
Just another one of my many mistakes.
Sigh* Remembering all those memories we had when we were younger.
About 11 years ago I met Olivia, we weren't very fond of each other at first,
the first thing she said to me was "BEANIE! THATS MINE!" as she ripped "The Rainbow-fish" book out of my hands,
i remember us always bickering and annoying each-other.
Then lol one day we were assigned to write "what we like about ???" and i got Olive.
i wracked my brain "what was there to like about Olivia?". saying that "i like olivia because we both liked reading" wouldn't work, it just wouldn't suffice.
I didn't really understand it, it was easy to think about what i liked about Aliesha and Courtney, i could even think about something for "Monkey ears" Brently, but... i was assigned Olive.
I sat closer to her to see what she wrote for her person, turns out she was like-wise assigned Me to write about.
I remember seeing her fidgeting in her chair, the lines of the paper still completely empty, whats weird was that she was a better writer than I, and even she couldn't think of something to write about.
When she noticed that i was looking at her piece i gave an awkward smile and she gave me this huge grin and giggled. I had what i wanted to write.
"I like Olivia because she has a nice smile"
After, she came up to me and said "Hey Smiley Boy, what did you end up writing about?"
I say "your smile", she smiled again and said "i wrote about your smile too"
The word "Cooties" is forever branded in my mind. what was bad about playing with a girl?
i remember protesting with the other boys to allow her to play 4-square with us.
"Cooties arent even real" i defend, and see her smile again, i pass the ball to her and we walked off.
THEN effing (what ever his name was) sprints towards her, knocks her over and takes the ball(I WAS FUCKEN INFURIATED) what-ever-his-name-was the stoops over her and says
"See you're just a little girl with coot-"
WHAM!
i punched him in the face.
haha when i helped her up she said "You're gonna get in troubblllllleeeeeee" i gave her a huge smile and said that it was worth it.
she smiled back and said "you're not worried about cooties?"
we became very very close friends,
we were inseparable, always getting each-other into trouble and laughing about it later.
On our first day of high-school my father dropped us off and thankfully we were in the same core class: 9TU
she was such a weirdo in highschool,
i started noticing* girls and whenever a girl would walk past us and smile at me, olive would always pretend to choke on something.
her criticisms were always just "Really Smiley boy? HER?"
in year ten, when i traversed into the other side of the teenage world, i developed a "reputation" with girls and
at lunches i would sometimes ditch to pursue ummm "things" and olive wasnt really proud of having that kind of friend and started to drift away.
We would still smile at eachother when ever there was a chance, but we were too endorsed in different worlds of the teen society.
When the 2013 FAHS ball was announced we had 5 months to ask someone out, i wasnt planning on going, i didnt really "like" anyone enough for them to actually go out with me.
but one day when me and my mother were going grocery chopping i noticed someone i hadn't really noticed before.
there she was absolutely stunningly beautiful.... sweet,funny and her smile lighting up the room, beckoning me forward.
When i asked her to go to the ball with me she said "took you long enough smiley boy"
we started to actually date. We then began a 4 month relationship that I can only describe as the
highest of highs and the lowest of lows....in the beginning all was
good- the woman of dreams, she wanted the same things I did. All was good.
we went to the movies and saw "the Great Gatsby" we sat right at the back, practically laughing the entire time, just remembering all the fun things we got up too. It was blissful heaven being with her.
The day of the ball i hired a limo(yes i'm classy)
she wore a very pretty purple dress with a black waist thingy, and i wore a tux.
the funniest thing about the dance was when they started playing the "Macarena", some girls dance erotically to the most strangest things.
then the song "Aloha oe" came on, thats when me and olive kissed for the first time(well the first time i kissed her on the lips)
The school spent nearly $7000 on this amazing band afterwards and that was fantastic too.
The Catering was great, they had Cherry pie... flwnelnflwenljwgnwjeg so effing good.
We went to an after party which was crap because the school decided to ring the police and tell them to patrol the town, so the party ended very quickly.
Olivia's father and mother were on holiday and she had a spare key to the house so we spent the rest of the night there.
Then... little things started happening. She would blow off dates at the
last second. She would have weird feelings about things she loved, ignore my attention, she would miss school for days, or just out of the blue go home during class.... I can go on and on- but the long
and short of it was, that she was pregnant. the one and only time we had sex together got her pregnant.
When we discovered this... our entire lives turned upside down.
My father kicked me out, my brother kicked himself out, my mother gave me the silent treatment for ages, olivia just shut me out and neglected me, no matter how i tried to support her, i even asked if we should get married. Her father said that i ruined her life, he was a stupid imfgwngwng OF A FATHER! he decided it was in her best interest to abort the baby and leave. LEAVE! AND SHE AGREED! my beloved friend was willing to leave just leave me like that. I wasnt able to change her mind. on the 25th of november she agreed to meet me... but it was just to say goodbye, The only and last thing she said to me was "Goodbye B'ni" NO HUG, NO KISS, just... just a stupid "goodbye" it wasn't enough. she got in her dads car and left. that was the last time i ever saw her. Its been 3 years now. i had to go back to the normal B'ni. no-one i have met since then has remotely amounted to the appreciation i gave olivia. People arent really interested in just being friends either. i'm just a "score"
My school also didnt know why she left, they thought "oh she just had to move to a better school". some people even thought it was a good thing she left for some reason. that was the year i sorta went over board.
it wasnt until the end of this year they learned what actually happened and i was immediately shunned and isolated and i was categorized as a stupid slut that gets girls pregnant. I have never been treated worse. i dont really care tbh. I'm not phased by peoples opinions of me. i just dont like it when they talk about her in the same manner. i miss her.
i wonder if she's happy, if she still smiles that cute smile
if she's met someone. If i could see her again.
and If she misses me.
doubt it.
i ruined her life.
Just another one of my many mistakes.
6/5/16 - The date i became permanently in love