So, me and this guy, we're friends and we were friends before we ever had sex. We have the same close knit group of friends so we spend a lot of time together and things were normal. And then we started hooking up for mindless sex and I was fine with that, I knew all he wanted was the sex and it didn't bother me. Thing is though, I was more of a booty call. Sure, when we'd all been out we'd hook up or if we're at a party, but the rest of the time he'd call me up and I'd be there. And everything was good, I was getting great sex (well sometimes). But then, I started to catch feelings for him and began to and still am crushing on him. Even though I knew it was still meaningless in that sense to him, these feelings got stronger. I'd drop everything I was doing to go to him for a quick 5 minute bone whilst he got himself off, it would be over before I was even properly turned on. Sometimes it lasted a little longer, and he'd focus a bit more on pleasuring me too but that was less common than the quickies, still quite regular though, and they started to mean everything to me.

But then, he moved onto a new girl. I don't mean like a girlfriend, I mean a new main go-to hook up. We're still friends obviously and we hang out a lot, but things just hurt now. I liked the one on one time I had with him, it was as close as I could get to satisfying my feelings for him. I knew he was occasionally sleeping other with other girls whilst we had our friends with benefits thing going on but I didn't care because I still had him. And now, when we're out at a club, or a party and I see him with another girl it hurt so much. Even though he'd never care about me in any way other than friendship and sexually, I'd do anything to get close to him again. If he called me right now I'd go straight over there just to feel like I was something more to him again. And because I want him.

I hate the way I feel, it makes me sound so pathetic. But these feelings are so hard to shake, I spend half of my life with him there but I can't show anything because he's incapable of having something more than sex. I've fallen head over heels for him, and I just don't know what to do.

Yeah, I'm jealous and I want him back because now I have these feelings that just won't go away.
And he does have good qualities, even if they're considered bad I know him because he's been and is my friend.
I'm just desperate to have him again, even though the sex would still be completely meaningless to him, it's as close as I'd be able to get.

That's what I mean, I wasn't just in it for the sex near the end, I do genuinely like him now. That's the problem.

Telling him that I've developed feelings for him would do nothing but send him running. And I don't want to ruin our friendship for everyone. It's so hard, I don't even know what advice I'm looking for because it's easier to listen to things than it is to actually put them into play.

I know I sound so difficult it's just such a frustrating situation. We're all going out tonight anyway, so who knows what will happen. I'd be open to more than a few things.

I should of stopped as soon as I started to really like him. But I didn't. So I'm partly to blame for all of this.

Sex doesn't always result in feelings. It hasn't for me in the past. Only this time it's fucked me over.