I don't care if he reads this..
Im so fucking confused.
My past boyfriend who i was with for a year and 5 months.. we loved eachother soo much.. had alot of laughs whatever. Well I broke up with him a month ago .. first was a brake so he could sort out his life.. get a job put his ass in gear. Well I started to like another boy at the time.. then liked him alot. To the point we've kissed a few times.
I've had my past boyfriend cry to me on the phone saying he wants me back hes been so depressed and unhappy.
I've tried to get over the relationship and move on. Not think about it and play video games. Well the past few nights.. I havent spoken to him as he went away to his grandmothers 4 hours away..

I miss him..... alot..
I love him alot..
But I don't know if he'd change.. I don't know if our fights would stop..
if he'd stop being so fucking lazy..

This new guy we have alot in common. we've been acquaintances/friends for a little bit. Hes sweet, caring, gentle.

But me and my ex have this connection I've never had with anyone else. I can be myself 100% and.. I dont know if I would ever have a connection like that with anyone else.

No matter what happens.. I really cant see myself marrying anyone other then my ex.. I can't.

But wtf do I do for now?

I wish it was that simple.. ^_^; the new guy really wants to date me right now but he fully understands how I feel.. and I wouldnt' mind having a little fun relationship with him... Its just i wanna go back with my ex.. soon.. after? .. I don't know

and im going to the new guys house on new years eve >_>

I dont even PLAN on Sex. The new dood is a virgin he doesnt want to for a long time.

All I had in mind was kissing anyway.

And I already let the new guy know that this MIGHT be rebound.. I've been honest with him 100% .

I dont know, but I dont think he'd go cry in a corner over it.

Maybe I should just do whatever.. till ryan sorts things out.... :\

I talk to both.. tomorrow night That is when i make my choice..