brother underwent surgery today to remove the infected intestinal, is awake and drugged on painkillers.
of course i'm happy for him, i really, really am.
but i want to disappear, to not feel selfish for trying to look out for myself. but what about me? why do you only seem to care when it involves him?
will people stop calling me to ask how my brother's doing? please, just stop it...
call girlfriend or even gods-forsaken mother, and not his younger sister who you distant relatives contact just to ask how he's doing.
..
i'm here too.
i'm so fucking sorry
i'm sorry for existing
i am so, so sorry that i can't take in your situation, dear brother
mom won't do anything about my wellbeing, never has. she just ignores the problem even when i drop it directly in front of her nose, trying to tell her- help.
i need help, anybody to talk to would be enough, somebody who would know of only me and not my brother. i'm so fucking exhausted.
i feel like sixteen is too young to want the easy way out.
of course i'm happy for him, i really, really am.
but i want to disappear, to not feel selfish for trying to look out for myself. but what about me? why do you only seem to care when it involves him?
will people stop calling me to ask how my brother's doing? please, just stop it...
call girlfriend or even gods-forsaken mother, and not his younger sister who you distant relatives contact just to ask how he's doing.
..
i'm here too.
i'm so fucking sorry
i'm sorry for existing
i am so, so sorry that i can't take in your situation, dear brother
mom won't do anything about my wellbeing, never has. she just ignores the problem even when i drop it directly in front of her nose, trying to tell her- help.
i need help, anybody to talk to would be enough, somebody who would know of only me and not my brother. i'm so fucking exhausted.
i feel like sixteen is too young to want the easy way out.