Argument with friend.

    • Argument with friend.

      I have a friend who was everything to me. She was often really quiet and never really talked, so I guess I always took advantage of her. She was my human diary, I was always spilling out my thoughts constantly. I thought of helping her like she has always helped me, but Everytime I offered to help she declined. Now that I think of it, maybe she was too scared of me.

      The last straw came when we moved school's and she met other friends, who listened to her and were much better friends than me. I did the usual, but I said that I came from a racist family (that is the truth) but I joked about being racist myself (that was a joke). The thing is, she is African American. I thought that she would dismiss it because that's what she always did, but this time she became upset. She yelled at me and blocked me.(although I have other ways of contacting her) and we have never spoke since this April. I miss her so much, and I realized I have never been a good friend to her, and I may seem like the bully in this story, but I am really hurt from her sudden anger at me (because she has never been angry at me). I don't know what to do! I never tried contacting her after that for 3 months, to give her time to cool off, but what do I do after that?
    • I don't know what you told her all the time, when you did most of the talking, but it sounds like it was very one sided. (yes, she declined your help but you didn't stop accepting her help)

      It's seldom a good idea to make racist jokes in front of someone who is targeted by such jokes. You only do that if you are absolutely sure they have no problem with that. And to be honest, racist jokes are only funny when you are racist. Otherwise they are just dumb.
      So i totally understand that she got upset about you at that point. No reason here for you to be hurt by that.

      You say you miss her and you regret not being a good friend for her. Those are good intentions. Forget all the racist crap your family things. Either don't mention it or say you are against it. If you have an open mindset, contact her and offer an apology and say you want to talk about everything. Tell her that you miss her and that you feel bad for how things went. Just in case: don't get loud or angry. Be honest with her and yourself. And ask her what exactly the problem is between you. Maybe you she tells you something you can work at.
      curious open-minded short but not so short guy from Germany. open for conversations/PMs, all topics, all ages, all genders