I May Be In A Toxic Relationship

    • I May Be In A Toxic Relationship

      Idk how to start this so ill just start it here. Hi, im 16, a girl dating a girl whos 15 and i have diagnosed ptsd and suspected bpd. I met my gf a year ago, starting as friends as we had similar interests and i started liking her while she was in a bad relationship. Time skip they break up, we both like eachother and my gf emotionally sending me into a inpatient ward after a fight.

      im not very mentally stable around my period, becoming very depressed and anxious about my relationships- especially with her the more we fight. And she becomes borderline verbally abusive and sends me into panic attacks bi-monthly. She tells me she doesnt mean it and does love me (side note she is unmedicated and unable to seek help due to familial reasons).

      I love her alot and we see eachother growing old together and i really cant see my life without her. Ik im young and blah blah teenage love wont last but i really do love her and cant think of my life without her in my life no matter how horrible she treats me.

      Now here comes were the title comes in.

      I see myself entering panicked states and fawning socially with her when i assume shes mad at me, ignoring me or overall not talking to me due to our previous fights. And i can compare it to other times i have had ptsd anxiety with other things and im scared.

      I really only came here for others to help me figure this out and yes i do have a therapist but i dont tell her about my relationship in fear she’ll tell me to leave.

      I believe my gf can get better and is just in a unlucky situation and understand my mentality is very “i can fix him”. Im very confused and worried i might end up in another inpatient because of her again- and i had the worst experience there.

      I dont think anyone will read this but if you do please understand this situation is very gray and we’re both not the best people when it comes to our hormonal emotions.

      Thanks, love Cyn.

    • I dont think I am qualified to give you advice on how to fix your relationship, all I can say is that you might want to reconsider talking your therapist about this, or concider breaking the relationship off before you spiral down to.an emotion state where you are hospitalized for a long period of time.

    • Like was said right above, you need to be honest and forthright with the therapist if you expect to get better. Consider the fact that if you aren't being honest and forthright with them, they can't really help you out. That is the first step. I think you need to learn how to deal with her behaviour and really figure out if this is healthy for you. That is the most important thing. Having been through a number of relationships myself, I know how first hand how hard it is when they come to an end but I can assure you that you will get through it and come out stronger and better and also know there are others out there that will make you feel loved and comfortable.

    • If your in a toxic relationship, please reach out for help from close family members, friends or professional help. I was in a good relationship that turned toxic by my partner. It was difficult to break away but after months of depression,guilt and so many emotions my family, friends and professional help, helped me mentally.

    • First, put the relationship on hold, and then go and worry about getting yourself better. It's kind of hard to do anything else of you are falling apart yourself.

      And yes, be careful of that "I can fix them!" mentality. I've heard of too many relationships that have ended badly because one person thought they could "fix" the other person's problems and it turned out they couldn't. If the other person is willing to get help, that's one thing, but if they won't (not sure if their family is really preventing them from getting help or if that's just an excuse for not really wanting help), then there's not much you can do, unfortunately.