coming out - how to tell friends and family I am with another boy

    • coming out - how to tell friends and family I am with another boy

      I guess everything is in the title
      I've started to date another boy, I dont know how tell my friends, my parents, my older brother (the younger is too young to understand I guess)
      I'm afraid of their reaction, especially my parents who are catholic and against gay marriage

      For those of you who made their coming out, just a basic question : jow did you do it ?HHow did your family and family react ? How did they accept it ?

      Any advice is welcome thanx

    • This is a complicated thing.

      First and foremost, you need to be comfortable in your own skin with being gay and in a relationship before involving others. For me, it was an evolution of sorts, for lack of better words. I was 13 when I came out to my parents. They already knew. Thing is your parents and closest friends know you better than you think.

      But to just come out one day and say I'm gay requires a lot of thought and it isn't an easy decision. Why do you feel the need at this point to tell them? What's the risks, what's the benefits? You mentioned you are catholic (as am I) and that they are against gay marriage. You are 13 so that is a long way off I reckon.

      I didn't ever really formally come out to my friends with an announcement, but they knew the whole time, or they said they did. My public outing was more or less "announced" when I got involved with the GSA at my high school at the beginning of 10th grade.

      My point is, in this rambling response, is that you need to be comfortable and sure of yourself first and foremost before you involve others. Write out on a piece of paper what the benefits of doing so are, and what the risks are and then take it from there.

    • They might already know :lol: parent's especially mum's pick up on stuff we think we're keeping secret

      Maybe not come out one day. But try getting their opinion on being gay (and other similar stuff) if there's something on TV or in the news, or just notice a same sex couple in the street. Asking their opinion you could get a sense on how they'd react, then if it's going positive you could add your own feelings, and liking boys yourself

      Good Friend :play: Kinda Romantic :love: Ready to Rock :zomg:

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    • Dracaufeu wrote:

      I guess everything is in the title
      I've started to date another boy, I dont know how tell my friends, my parents, my older brother (the younger is too young to understand I guess)
      I'm afraid of their reaction, especially my parents who are catholic and against gay marriage

      For those of you who made their coming out, just a basic question : jow did you do it ?HHow did your family and family react ? How did they accept it ?

      Any advice is welcome thanx
      Idk I havent told my parents Im dating my bf and Im not sure I wanna for a while cause they let me be alone with him and stuff and thatd probably change if I told them. I know theyd be fine with it but I think I just wanna wait a while

      And idk if any of this is good advice cause I havent done it, but I dont wanna make a big deal about it when I come out. I just wanna say "hey Im dating ....." and leave it at that. But again, idk if thats an actual good idea

    • its different for everybody. ive told my coming out story a zillion times, here, and other forums and in my GYA group in school. Me and my bf both were kinda forced to come out when i was 14, he was 13, when my lil bro caught us after school, and threatened to tell our secret if we didnt give him $20. crazy huh?

      Anyway, we decided to come out to our parents first, which we did and got alot of support but i think they already suspected, moms always know. Since it was the end of the school year (june) we had all summer to tell our friends and by the end of summer when school started up again, it was old news. most of our friends are very cool with it, but some are weird about it, but who cares about them. Now were both in our schools Gay Youth Alliance group (GYA) and help other kids deal with it some are out but most arent yet.

      I guess alot depends on where u live.. Im in a very progressive state and city so it was easier than what others have to deal with.
      :gay:

    • BJade wrote:

      They might already know :lol: parent's especially mum's pick up on stuff we think we're keeping secret

      Maybe not come out one day. But try getting their opinion on being gay (and other similar stuff) if there's something on TV or in the news, or just notice a same sex couple in the street. Asking their opinion you could get a sense on how they'd react, then if it's going positive you could add your own feelings, and liking boys yourself
      THIS. My parents knew but were waiting for me to tell them!

      I told my story here. :)

      Coming out story

    • @collin13
      @BJade
      @ImAidesP
      @corey_stratton

      I dont think my parents know because I had severall gf before so I guess they dont think I'm gay
      In fact I'm not sure myself. I was always attracted to girls, never even considered being with a boy, so why do I suddenly have a crush on a boy I have no idea. It just doesn't make sense.
      Some here said I'm bi but why I'm suddenly attracted to boys while it had never happened before ?

      Why do I need to say it ?
      My bf lives not far from me we often play together with other friends, so if someone caches us being together or like kissing, I think it's better if they know first and we have talked rather that start some undelicate random guy launches rumours in my school

    • corey_stratton wrote:

      its different for everybody. ive told my coming out story a zillion times, here, and other forums and in my GYA group in school. Me and my bf both were kinda forced to come out when i was 14, he was 13, when my lil bro caught us after school, and threatened to tell our secret if we didnt give him $20. crazy huh?

      Anyway, we decided to come out to our parents first, which we did and got alot of support but i think they already suspected, moms always know. Since it was the end of the school year (june) we had all summer to tell our friends and by the end of summer when school started up again, it was old news. most of our friends are very cool with it, but some are weird about it, but who cares about them. Now were both in our schools Gay Youth Alliance group (GYA) and help other kids deal with it some are out but most arent yet.

      I guess alot depends on where u live.. Im in a very progressive state and city so it was easier than what others have to deal with.
      the only person put out here is ur bro not getting $20! Seriously though, this is how life should be for all. People should be ab;e to live freely like this

    • that’s a little tricky to answer. i guess i officially told my parents about it when i was 11 but i hadn’t really been hiding anything from them. since i was like 5 i would tell them bout my crushes on boys and other things like that. i guess that helped cuz even thought they were raised religious, i think it gave them some time to process it before i ever made told them for real. i told my brothers soon after, even the young ones. i don’t really think there’s a such thing as too young to understand. my family was all very supportive and accepting. after that i told my friends. i don’t think any of them were particularly surprised since i have been pretty open bout who i like since i was really little. they all for the most party reacted positively or at least indifferent and any that didn’t weren’t my friends anymore.

      one thing i’d say is only come out if you’re in a safe environment. i’m lucky to have the parents i have but i know not everyone is so lucky. also a friend isn’t supportive or accepting don’t be afraid of just cutting them out of ur life. i know it can be hard but it’ll be less painful in the long run.