im like genuinely curious if im just overthinking or my friend is being petty. so i have a friend and she's a year older than me, and in a grade above me but we go to the same school, live in the same neighborhood and hang out almost everyday. she's my childhood friend and our families are quite close too. we've been on trips together and i know her really well. she's been acting differently after the pandemic. i am insecure, like really insecure and she knows that, she also knows what caused my insecurities (i've talked to her about them.) but she still chooses to joke about them. like the usual ''haha you look ugly.'' or if i tell her someone has a crush on me she'll be like ''is he blind?'' and much more. im really sensitive so i get hurt by stuff like this alot and i know thats an issue with me. but i don't say stuff like that to her, never will you find me telling her you look ugly when she is genuinely asking me about how she looks. now i hate it when people bodyshame others and people do bodyshame her, but if i am there and they are insulting her i never keep quiet, i will always say something back to them. but when someone says something about me like ''you've been gaining weight.'' or calling me a pig, she never says anything and just laughs. i've starved myself in the past because of this and had to go to a doctor because i got anemic. look i don't want to make her out to be bad person but as im writing this, im realising how much i've overlooked the situation. i hate it when she does that. it feels like she doesn't care about me.

i can't blame her though. i never can. our parents compare us a lot and i know for a fact her parents compare her to me alot. in academics, mannerisms, and even health. she's told me about it once, she said that her parents are compelling her to make a decision on her career path because i've already decided mine and that they talk about my grades a lot. that made me feel so guilty.

she's also only once complimented me, saying im one of most good looking girls in the girls around my age. (i was crying over a boy rejecting me for another girl, who i think is really pretty in my grade) and that made so happy. it was really a big thing for me. i love her a lot and i cant afford to lose her.

this has caused us to drift apart a lot, like theres a wall between us both that is separating us. i know the cause of her personality may just be an inferiority complex but i dont know for sure. what can i do to reassure her and restore things back to how they were?

i will try but whenever i talk about such topics she says no depressing talks and avoids talking about it and i don't want to push her if she isn't comfortable. but thanks for the advice!