....m e n t a l; H O S P I T A L

    • ....m e n t a l; H O S P I T A L

      [INDENT]
      What would I have to do to be admited to a mental hospital, i wonder, and what would I have to do to S T A Y in the hospital when I get there ? I'm starting to wonder that lately and I feel that it's sad....that's really about all I can say because I'm...just freakin' tired...not physically but emotionally. I can't really even bring myself to talk about what's going on..I can just blab away on random things....

      Nobody at school really cares about me. They're just fake bitches who thrive on being able to talk about people...especially me, every chance they get. Teachers don't give a damn that I"m starting to fail their classes because I don't understand and that I really want their help because it makes me depressed to hear a teacher go "Omgosh Raeyah, *whispers* her graders are horrible*" as if I really can't hear across the room. Since I've been back in public school, my hearing has become exceptionally good...I can hear when you're mouth opens practically..

      I want to go stay with my dad but..my mom won't let me. I'm ready to upgrade from making welps on my arm with push pins, to actually cutting myself with razors. My step dad is a barber so getting a razor is no problem at all.

      I'm gaining weight like hell because I'm actually eating a lot...so I've stopped eating so much..but im still eating a lot. Idk if it's because I'm depressed or what..but I don't like it. My thighs are getting horribly huge...and I don't even like showing the body that looked "good as hell" earlier this school year...but now is.."out of tune"..as I've been told.

      I talk to myself like hell now and visualize fighting everyone and snapping peoples necks...I hate myself...I get soo angry that i feel like hurting the walls and beds and covers. Which is impossible...because they're not real. But if they were..they'd be dead. No, i'm not dumb enough to hurt a person..because I could go to jail and ruin everything I work so hard for..

      I'm ready to run away..but I can't because I have no friends to run away to...I don't even have a body that could get me anywhere..my self esteem is soo low that even if I did..it wouldn't help because I wouldn't be able to show...

      I just...im hopeless at this point.

      But im scared to kill myself..because I don't want to go to hell for Suicide..that's a
      V E R Y long time to be there..it just never ends..and who wants to spend their life that way ?? I sure as hell don't..and PLEASE do not argue with me over that tiny detail about going to hell for suicide..I don't give a fuck what your opinion is over that...but yeah, i'm done.

      [/INDENT]

      The post was edited 1 time, last by whisperingsecrets ().

    • Re: ....m e n t a l; H O S P I T A L

      look okay im also facing the same thing and i can relate seriously..you need to hold on find a fwend or make up your own group of fwends even though its hard enough sayin elo to anyone at skwl without them givin you that look..

      i know things at home arent as good as you wish they where and you cant really confined in anyone widout them thinkin you a freak...

      i dont believe you need to go to hospital for this..your lonely,heart broken and depressed and noe its eatin at you on the inside and makin you cry...

      it's not the end of the world and if no1 will take the tym to ask you how you are? or if you want a fwend to talk to bout your prob? then i'll be the one to do that..coz you fightin a battle on your own...and im facin the same thing so if you wana tlk we can ayt..

      [email protected]

    • Re: ....m e n t a l; H O S P I T A L

      I had really horrible Teachers too in every single School I went to, who didn't care if I failed and wouldn't even help me. I know how terrible it feels. It's a reason I dropped out, but I don't advise you to drop out. Just stay in and try to concentrate more on your work and try your hardest. That's all you can do, and for that you're doing a good job and you're smart whether your Teachers tell you that or not. Everyone is smart in their own way.
      You may not think anyone cares, but they do. There is always someone who cares and is there for you. For example, I'm here if you need anyone to talk to because I've been through it all, hell and back. I know how it feels, and I'm willing to help anyone who needs help with depression or anything else even if it's just a random person like myself from the internet.


      You could be my [SIZE=3]someone,[/SIZE]
      You could be my [SIZE=3]sea...[/SIZE]

    • Re: ....m e n t a l; H O S P I T A L

      Thank you...both of you.
      I'll def. contact both of you...

      *U P D A T E [ since im on ] *

      I've decided to become an anorexic..
      I've joined groups and already have friends that will teach me
      how to keep myself from eating..
      I binged today though.
      My body didn't handle the not eating very good..
      as soon as my mom forced me to eat a piece of the
      cake..i just...BINGED. I ate it ALL, a pop tart, spahghetti, chips, and more..
      I just went OVERBOARD ! I feel soo sick too.

    • Re: ....m e n t a l; H O S P I T A L

      I guess, I mean i'm tired of the bullshit that comes with being "fat"
      ...and the thing is..IM NOT FAT. I'm just a BIT overweight. like barely..
      I have a little bit of fat on my stomach and a a bit of it on my thighs.
      I guess i just look a bit bigger. I mean...if you touch my thighs and arms and stomach
      you can clearly feel the muscel..but they still go on and on and on about it !

      It's annoying..i just can't take it anymore.

    • Re: ....m e n t a l; H O S P I T A L

      If you really want to be in a mental hospital, do some crazy shit...

      All you really have to do is call someone and threaten to kill them and depending on how old you are, you will be sent to a mental hospital, or jail. My cousin was sent to a mental home for threating to kill some people in his school. Only for 3 days though.
      [SIZE=4]Wtf...Is my rep bar green?
      [/SIZE]

    • Re: ....m e n t a l; H O S P I T A L

      okay well honestly if you really want to go to a hospital all you have to do is tell a consleor all of what you said ^^^^ up there..(trust me it works). i have kinda been were you are but not really but i do understand. i do suggest you talk to some one expesally a concerlor at you school.. i have been through the whole anorexic/belemic thing.. its not fun i sugest you dont do that but i know you cant completely control it.
      [CENTER][SIZE=4][/SIZE][/CENTER]
      [CENTER][SIZE=4]“I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells.”[/SIZE][/CENTER]
      [CENTER]-Dr. Suess[/CENTER]

    • Re: ....m e n t a l; H O S P I T A L

      whisperingsecrets wrote:

      Thank you...both of you.
      I'll def. contact both of you...

      *U P D A T E [ since im on ] *

      I've decided to become an anorexic..
      I've joined groups and already have friends that will teach me
      how to keep myself from eating..
      I binged today though.
      My body didn't handle the not eating very good..
      as soon as my mom forced me to eat a piece of the
      cake..i just...BINGED. I ate it ALL, a pop tart, spahghetti, chips, and more..
      I just went OVERBOARD ! I feel soo sick too.


      OKAY okay WAIT...y are you changin yourself for a group of fwends? jst coz they are or a majority of them is anorexic it doesnt mean you have to be aswell,they will except you for who you are and each of your differences shlodnt worry you or make you feel left out coz all of you have problems anyways.

      i didnt ask but how will you being in a hospital help you? wat difwens will it make? and why do you feel the need to have to go there?

      look think bout your probs more and think bout how you wld help someone in that prob. wat is the cause of them...try see things clearer..:wink:

      your not a bad person,you just not thinkin straight or talkin to anyone so you makin your prob bigga than wat it is..which is wrong..