Now my life is on contract. In love with cousin; how to tell him?

    • Yes, in love. Not like family love, as I have had to explain this before. He's actually my First Cousin, Once Removed so he's the son of my First Cousin. Some people say that's your Second Cousin, well, yeah, same thing, but for some stupid reason the names are different.

      Anyway, I'm a freak, yeah, right, got that, don't mention it. I'm 15 he's 16. I know from the bottom of my heart what I feel, and that I've never felt this way before. Not even a crush or anything like it. He doesn't know and I'm going to tell him, but I have no idea how to [no sarcastic comments on this please!] tell him...Because I've never told anyone how I've felt before, because I don't feel very much [if you get what I'm saying?].

      I know every signal freakin' risk there is out there for my case, and I honestly do not care. I know he's my cousin, but love is love, am I right? Yes, I think I am.
      Another thing, I'm a highly religious person [may not seem like it] and it's true that in the Bible it says no close relatives and then the relatives are listed. Cousins never are.

      I'm not interested in sex, so get that out of your heads, because in my experience most think I only want to sleep with him. Heh heh~ Not true. Point blank.
      So can someone please tell me how to go about telling him?


      Dudsey...It's been a while now and I'd like at the LEAST for one person to answer. Aside from me. Dudes? Please? Halp....! Naw, I mean it, really, please, totally, lyke, seriously, serious help is being needed from Fredrika over here, and I'd like some advice and help. I have waiting issues, please?! I won't be an annoyance later on down the road, yo'kay? Sankyuu. I take my leave.
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    • Re: Now my life is on contract. In love with cousin; how to tell him?

      Well i dont know what to say. I've never really heard anything like this before. I wish I could help you. Well anyways ill do my best, first off i would not tell him, i would try to ignore it and hope it goes away because im sorry but it will most probably just freak him out and just cause problems in the family. But if you feel the absolute need to tel him I would tell him in person in a private place and tell him slowly

    • Re: Now my life is on contract. In love with cousin; how to tell him?

      While it's not immediate family, it really won't go down well with the family or modern society.

      If you do decide to ask him, be sure he feels the same way, is he religeous as well?

      You might have to look for signs he's interested.
      #1 pickup line of all time: "Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?
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    • Re: Now my life is on contract. In love with cousin; how to tell him?

      Well i dont know what to say. I've never really heard anything like this before. I wish I could help you. Well anyways ill do my best, first off i would not tell him, i would try to ignore it and hope it goes away because im sorry but it will most probably just freak him out and just cause problems in the family. But if you feel the absolute need to tel him I would tell him in person in a private place and tell him slowly
      Yeah...It ain't goin' away. Not when I think about him 24/7 and no other men are in my life, there used to be, but not any more. I'm Homeschooled, btw. lol, it's not like he'll hate me or anything, I know him well enough to know that much. Well, a private place is a pretty clear thing, yes? Ummm, what do you mean by slowly though?
      While it's not immediate family, it really won't go down well with the family or modern society.

      If you do decide to ask him, be sure he feels the same way, is he religeous as well?

      You might have to look for signs he's interested.
      Considering the fact society already hates me as is, for no reason what-so-ever, I may add. My Mom and Nanny [moms mom] know. My mom was freaking out because she thought it was my step-cousin [he's a little...ehhh, different], but calmed down when I said it wasn't...Then it was easy to guess who it was! I have a large family, but only 3-4 others in my age group and one's a girl...-_-

      Ask? What would I ask him? Oh, I ain't gunna ask him, just tell him. Yeah, he's religious too.

      What kind of signs? Love is not something I know much about...in my case, so I don't know much about signs or anything.

      But obviously sex would eventually be involved?
      Unlike the other Horn-Hors and Horn-Hounds out there, I'm waiting for marriage. So, if he feels the same way, then yeah. But not until we're older...like adults. But what I meant was, what I'm feeling isn't purely hormone driven, "I wanna lose my virginity", sort-of thing.

      Just as a funny side-note kinda thing, almost every time I see him I'm all like: :hugs:
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    • Re: Now my life is on contract. In love with cousin; how to tell him?

      Regardless, it's never a good idea to fall in love with a family member. Chances are he'd be as freaked about this as most people are. Rather than telling him your feelings, I suggest shifting your attention to something else, or someone else even. This infatuation will eventually pass, and some things are better off unsaid.

    • Re: Now my life is on contract. In love with cousin; how to tell him?

      iphu wrote:

      Regardless, it's never a good idea to fall in love with a family member. Chances are he'd be as freaked about this as most people are. Rather than telling him your feelings, I suggest shifting your attention to something else, or someone else even. This infatuation will eventually pass, and some things are better off unsaid.
      Well, most people are freaks, which is a good thing. So that'll be my argument then. Look, I CANNOT shift my attention to something else, I have tried that LONG before I came here, if i go seeking help from others that means I have done everything & I am to the point where I'm excepting what the cards of life have dealt me. I already said i was telling him, and once my mind is made up, it's made up so nothing will change it. Someone else? I don't think someone who never sees the light of day can see another human being outside friends or family. Guys used to ask me out all the time, even some girls did [which I did not like], and as soon as I paid attention to them to 1 second they treat me like trash... After about 50 repeats of the same thing, one tends to learn, do they not? REGARDLESS, this is just how most people are... Freaks. I for-one have always been one for no reason at all. Anyway, "infatuation"? That's such a laugh, I don't know how to comment on it. It's not passing, not now not ever, your first love is always your first love, nothing can ever change that, even if they don't ever know it, that person taught you how to love, so even if you always deny it there will always be a place in your heart for them. This is not one of those thing that is better left unsaid.
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    • Re: Now my life is on contract. In love with cousin; how to tell him?

      I stand corrected. Being in love makes you stupid, and it seems that you're in love enough with him to not want to listen to rational advice from someone who isn't blinded by love. So go ahead, tell him you love him. Since you seem to have a close relationship with him, it should be easy to tell him: "I think I love you." We'll see how his reaction will be, and whether or not you'll lose him as a friend.

      On an unrelated note, you sound like you have some personal issues. You refer to yourself as a freak, and you implied that you can't trust anyone anymore. I hope those aren't the reasons that drive you to want to confess your love to your cousin. Some people look for love in the wrong places. They really need to realize the first step to happiness is to learn to love themselves.

      /oprah-like

    • Re: Now my life is on contract. In love with cousin; how to tell him?

      iphu wrote:

      I stand corrected. Being in love makes you stupid, and it seems that you're in love enough with him to not want to listen to rational advice from someone who isn't blinded by love. So go ahead, tell him you love him. Since you seem to have a close relationship with him, it should be easy to tell him: "I think I love you." We'll see how his reaction will be, and whether or not you'll lose him as a friend.

      On an unrelated note, you sound like you have some personal issues. You refer to yourself as a freak, and you implied that you can't trust anyone anymore. I hope those aren't the reasons that drive you to want to confess your love to your cousin. Some people look for love in the wrong places. They really need to realize the first step to happiness is to learn to love themselves.

      /oprah-like
      It does, doesn't it? And I for one, despise it. I'm not blinded, I know perfectly well what I'm doing. Just not how to do it. That wasn't really rational, no rational person I've told so far has given me that advice. I won't lose him as a friend, I've already said I know him better than that.

      Not really personal. More like anger. I called myself that, because that's how I've always been viewed as. I also said almost everyone is a freak, yes? Which means the ones who are not, are the real freaks. I've never trusted anyone, except for him, my other cousin [his little brother] and this one girl who used to be a good friend of mine [she moved]. I clinged on to them all for dear life at one point in my life, because I had no one else. Then she moved, and I stopped trusting my little cousin as much as I did, so he was all I had left. Some people naturally cling to the person who accepts them just as they are. For some it's more like dedication, for others, it's love. For all I know, that's the reason. But, I really don't care. "Pursuit of Happiness" is something we all have, and it would be wrong to attempt to take that away from me.

      I highly dislike myself, but at least I don't hate myself...anymore. I did at one point, but go ahead a guess the cliche as to why I don't. It's true though. You don't need to love yourself to find happiness, if that was the case, no one would ever be happy. I care only about him and myself, but I love only him. Caring and loving are 2 different things, but most people don't know that. Just thought I'd point that out.
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    • Re: Now my life is on contract. In love with cousin; how to tell him?

      You don't need to love yourself to find happiness, if that was the case, no one would ever be happy.

      Not true. You need to love yourself to be happy. Everyone who is happy has find a way to love him/herself one way or another. One day you will realize the importance of loving yourself, but judging from the way things are going, I doubt that will happen any time soon.

      Good luck.

    • Re: Now my life is on contract. In love with cousin; how to tell him?

      But, I don't love myself and I'm happy. I'm happy for the first time in my life. So, um, I think I know what I'm talking about here. You're not wishing me good luck, so why bother saying it. Your "good luck" and my "good luck" are 2 different things. The same as with happiness. I know it's important to love yourself, but I'm not worth loving, of myself I mean. I don't want to love myself, because one day I'll have no need to. It's like, you love someone, he loves you back, why bother loving yourself when he makes up for it? It may seem asinine, and it is, but it also isn't...Eh, hard to explain.

      So can just answer my question instead of attempting to lecture me. Please?
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    • Re: Now my life is on contract. In love with cousin; how to tell him?

      I wouldn't tell him because it'll be very awkward and messed up.
      If you really can't forget about him then try and console yourself by spending time with him as friends. I honestly don't think it will work at all, and just try to find someone else about whom you feel the same way.
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    • Re: Now my life is on contract. In love with cousin; how to tell him?

      Trogdor_74 wrote:

      I wouldn't tell him because it'll be very awkward and messed up.
      If you really can't forget about him then try and console yourself by spending time with him as friends. I honestly don't think it will work at all, and just try to find someone else about whom you feel the same way.
      I'm sorry but *headdesk*. As I have explained, a few times: I. Am. Telling. Him. I just need to know how to go about it because I've never loved before. I can't find anyone else, because I know no one else who makes me feel like this. And I don't go to school, so finding someone there is out. I just need to know HOW to tell him. Not how to avoid telling him.
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    • Re: Now my life is on contract. In love with cousin; how to tell him?

      Well okay.
      Firstly try and get some pointers whether he has any remote feeling for you in this way.
      Not sure how to achieve this, but maybe try and flirt in a friendly way and see if he finds it awkward or if he responds in a good way.
      Just don't blurt it out to him because it will probably scare him.
      I don't rate your chances highly but good luck anyway.
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    • Re: Now my life is on contract. In love with cousin; how to tell him?

      Ah, thank you. But what exactly do you mean by "pointers"? Well, I tried that a bit last year, and he didn't really respond badly or anything...Then again, I'm not a flirt, and I lack ability to do so.
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    • Re: Now my life is on contract. In love with cousin; how to tell him?

      I don't really know
      You said you're close so do you hug him/make contact with him a lot?
      Try and increase that and see whether you think he likes it.
      And talk to him about his personal life and whether he likes any girls, to get closer to his emotions.
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    • Re: Now my life is on contract. In love with cousin; how to tell him?

      So can just answer my question instead of attempting to lecture me. Please?

      I did tell you. I said to tell him, "I think I love you." Straightforward like that.

      I'll let you go because most people will do stupid things when they're fifteen, and at least this isn't something that'll hurt you in the long run. It'll just be something you might blush over when you're older. Myself, I was the type of teenager who actually listened to experienced adults and didn't give in to my whims. So these days whenever someone tells me, "Oh, like you never did anything stupid when you were a teenager," I could in honesty respond, "No, never."

      Not being holier-than-thou, but sometimes it's good to listen. Just an extra tip.

    • Re: Now my life is on contract. In love with cousin; how to tell him?

      petriieplayspool wrote:

      a little help, dont ask for advice if your not gonna take it and start up an argument instead.
      Oh, I'll gladly take advice. When people give advice that answers my question. And you haven't, so yeah...You have no right to say anything at all unless advice is included. I live for arguments, but I was not trying to start any, I was merely replying to the so-called "advice" that was already given. Just rudely. Because they told me not to, and I've already stated I was going to tell him and telling me not to wasn't going to do anything, even if the most excellent point was made. I hope you know you posted Spam, btw.
      I did tell you. I said to tell him, "I think I love you." Straightforward like that.

      I'll let you go because most people will do stupid things when they're fifteen, and at least this isn't something that'll hurt you in the long run. It'll just be something you might blush over when you're older. Myself, I was the type of teenager who actually listened to experienced adults and didn't give in to my whims. So these days whenever someone tells me, "Oh, like you never did anything stupid when you were a teenager," I could in honesty respond, "No, never."

      Not being holier-than-thou, but sometimes it's good to listen. Just an extra tip.
      Sorry, must have missed that. Oh, ha-ha-hahhaha! I can't believe someone is actually telling me that! Sorry, if you really did know me, you'd find it funny. I'm not gunna do anything stupid, I wouldn't do this if I though it was stupid. I've gathered every fact there is out there to know about this, so far, and factoring in my family and my cousins personality, I have come to the conclusion that this is not stupid, and that's that. I listen to adults, and I take their word for it, but unlike most stupid kids now-a-days I know that you can't just take someones word for it and move on, you have to make your own mistakes. Kids and Teenagers were made to be stupid and get in trouble, and for other things that I should not say.
      I've never even had a whim, I think about everything and anything I do, just as I have this. So don't dare call this a whim.

      I always listen, I take in every factor, it just gets annoying when people tell you over and over what you already know and have been told 100x over. Sorry if I seemed all high-and-mighty, but really, don't imply I'm stupid and don't listen like that.
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