OK i am a 14 year old guy and i have not have a girlfriend since grade five. in grade five my girlfriend dumped me hard and ever since I've been very shy and unconfident around girls. i cant even tell if girls like me any more.since it has been a while since i did something with a girl a couple years ago i started fantasizing about guys. watching gay porn, thinking a bout guys instead of girls and shit.i have even done sexual things with a guy i had a crush on.the thing is that I'm a smart guy that over analyses thing and i only feal that homoarousel to "jocks" jockstraps, sport gear, sniffing jockstraps. so i thing that i thought that i was gay because i was attracted to naked athletic men but i think that all along i have been attracted to their jock straps (espeshially hockey jocks). so i when and finally watched straight porn were the girl was with a hockey player and sniffed his jock and then they had sex. i liked this. but the main reason i cant be gay is because when i had those gay interactions(wich NOBODY knows about) i always was strongly disgusted by it. and when i watch gay porn after I'm done masturbating i think this is disgusting, and i would hate to be gay.i also think how awesome it would be to have a girlfriend. i guess what I'm trying to say is do you think my lack of confidence over time lead to the discovery of a fetish which was masked by homosexuality? and the main question is am i gay? and if i was, i am a fighter (in this case mentally) if i want something done i will get it done no matter what i have to do . so if i terned out to be gay do you think it would be possible not to surpress it but to completely fight it off.
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