Sorry this is such a long story. We're all in high school.

There's this guy Alan, one of my longtime best friends. A new girl came into our school last year, Sue. Alan started talking with her in the second half of the year and I talked to her too because of that, though I didn't know her very well.

That summer neither of us talked to Sue, but at the end of the summer Alan told me he wanted to get a girlfriend and asked who I thought, referring to a few girls who flirted with him. I told him Sue without thinking much of it.

That school year, Sue almost immediately became a great friend of both me and Alan, and I realized I liked her romantically as well; it was not to be. A few months into the school year, she and Alan walked into a bathroom together as the rest of us stared down.

That was the start of their relationship. We all stayed best friends and I fell more in love with Sue. Really, really, really in love. We talk and snuggle and say we love each other (she in a platonic way, I assume). I keep it hidden that I love her romantically for their sake. I try to be a good friend to Alan by supporting their relationship when a friend should, hurt me as it may.

But they're a very intimate couple; when they start making out in front of me I feel like a third wheel and my stomach is sick. They always say "sorry" and stop ashamedly when they realize I'm still there. I told Sue that I think I should get together with her and Alan separately, and they can be alone together the rest of the time so they can do that stuff. Due to jobs and priorities, the policy means I'm unlikely to see either more than once a week for the rest of the summer. She was saddened by this, she didn't want to drive me away, but she agreed.

I'm without my best friends. There's no chance of me going out with the girl that I love. I'm frustrated and getting depressed. I need help, or suggestions, or something. Please, anybody?

I can't find somebody else to love. I just can't. There are other attractive, smart, nice girls that I'm friends with, but they're not the same. I think if I were to try a relationship with them I couldn't stop thinking of Sue... it wouldn't be fair to them. Sue is perfect in every single way for me. I've got to be with Sue, impossible as I know it is.

I know it might sound crazy, and I sort of expected to get this, but I am absolutely positive I am in love with her. Quite possibly there is somebody else I could be in love with (I don't believe in "true love" or that one person is meant for one other person) but I definitely love her and she'll be in my life forever. We're going to try to apply to some of the the same colleges if we find ones that would fit both of us well, we're going to call each other regularly, we're going to keep talking until one of us croaks. We've discussed this for hours and hours on end.

Anybody else I could fall in love with (never as a replacement for Sue) definitely doesn't go to my school (I have a small class, I know everybody by now) or anywhere else I meet people. I don't think it's likely I'm going to meet somebody else I love like this for many years, and now I just can't be with somebody I don't love as much as Sue.