So I've know this guy, Gavin since I was about five years old. We met in Maine because my aunt's boyfriend owned one of the trailers in this small trailer park. (The trailer park is like a mini summer getaway place) Gavin's one year older than I am, which means he's also a grade ahead of me. About 6 years ago(I was 10/11, he was 11,or 12) we had a summer fling only nothing really happened because 1)I stayed at the trailer park for about a week and 2) a friend and him didn't get along (friend vs boyfriend thing).
Anyways, over the years, we've kept in touch. I haven't actually seen him since then, but I've talked to him online and over the phone. Lately, I've developed somewhat of a crush on him. I mean, he's a great guy and I can always confide in him. We tell each other almost everything. We're best friends. Not only that, but I also have the chance of seeing him around the end of July/beginning of August, because I'm finally returning to Maine for almost 3 weeks. Which means I get to see him about three weekends (I usually only go up to Maine on the weekends because the relatives are working).
Before I told him I liked him, I brought up this movie "My Best Friend's Wedding". The basic plot is this girl and her best friend(who's a guy) make this pact when they're kids that if they're both single by the time they're 28, they'll get together. Only the guy turns out to be engaged 3 weeks before the girl turns 28, she gets all jealous and tries to break-up the marriage. After this, he was like "We should do that" (the hookup thing if we're still single) and in response I joked "Hah, you know, we'd do that and wouldn't remember it until we're 98" and he said "Yeah, I'll be in a wheelchair and using one of those talking robot keyboards".
This is where I feel things go wrong. Early yesterday I confessed that I liked him. Don't get me wrong, we're both chill and nothing's awkward. We were talking about how he lived in New York, I live in Virginia, but we should hang out in Maine when I go up. Now that I've thought about it and told him, I regret telling him, even though I like him. What I id, seems unfair to him, in my opinion. I feel like I put the memory of him from when I was ten with talking to him and basically said "This is what I want. This is what I'm going to get, now." I feel that it's unfair to him, especially when he's already interested in two girls that live near him. I mean, I haven't seen him in 6 years and it's like all of a sudden I'm saying "Let's hook up like we did back then". That and I don't even know what he looks like! And he's only seen me from recent photographs, but you can't know someone completely through photos! I just assumed that after all these years, we'd pick up where we left off and live happily ever after. Boy, did I get a wakeup/reality check.
I've talked to a few friends. One told me that people say things at the time that just makes so much sense, and then afterwards they realize they should've have said it. He also said that since I have such a good friend like that, I should just to everything I can to keep the friendship, not ask for more, because he did that once and lost the friendship. Another friend told me that there's nothing wrong in telling a person you care about them, as long as I put it in a certain way. He also told me I got caught up in the moment. I asked him "What am I supposed to do now?" and he said "You're not 'supposed' to do anything. Just tell him what you told me"(the whole regretting my confession).
So the thing is...I'm not sure exactly what to do from here. I mean, I know I should apologize for confessing and explain why, but when I actually see him, what do I do from there? Should we hook up when we see each other though it'll most likely be a summer fling? Or should I actually ask to be more then friends, knowing we live so far away? Take the risk of ruining a friendship or keep safe and just stay friends?
Anyways, over the years, we've kept in touch. I haven't actually seen him since then, but I've talked to him online and over the phone. Lately, I've developed somewhat of a crush on him. I mean, he's a great guy and I can always confide in him. We tell each other almost everything. We're best friends. Not only that, but I also have the chance of seeing him around the end of July/beginning of August, because I'm finally returning to Maine for almost 3 weeks. Which means I get to see him about three weekends (I usually only go up to Maine on the weekends because the relatives are working).
Before I told him I liked him, I brought up this movie "My Best Friend's Wedding". The basic plot is this girl and her best friend(who's a guy) make this pact when they're kids that if they're both single by the time they're 28, they'll get together. Only the guy turns out to be engaged 3 weeks before the girl turns 28, she gets all jealous and tries to break-up the marriage. After this, he was like "We should do that" (the hookup thing if we're still single) and in response I joked "Hah, you know, we'd do that and wouldn't remember it until we're 98" and he said "Yeah, I'll be in a wheelchair and using one of those talking robot keyboards".
This is where I feel things go wrong. Early yesterday I confessed that I liked him. Don't get me wrong, we're both chill and nothing's awkward. We were talking about how he lived in New York, I live in Virginia, but we should hang out in Maine when I go up. Now that I've thought about it and told him, I regret telling him, even though I like him. What I id, seems unfair to him, in my opinion. I feel like I put the memory of him from when I was ten with talking to him and basically said "This is what I want. This is what I'm going to get, now." I feel that it's unfair to him, especially when he's already interested in two girls that live near him. I mean, I haven't seen him in 6 years and it's like all of a sudden I'm saying "Let's hook up like we did back then". That and I don't even know what he looks like! And he's only seen me from recent photographs, but you can't know someone completely through photos! I just assumed that after all these years, we'd pick up where we left off and live happily ever after. Boy, did I get a wakeup/reality check.
I've talked to a few friends. One told me that people say things at the time that just makes so much sense, and then afterwards they realize they should've have said it. He also said that since I have such a good friend like that, I should just to everything I can to keep the friendship, not ask for more, because he did that once and lost the friendship. Another friend told me that there's nothing wrong in telling a person you care about them, as long as I put it in a certain way. He also told me I got caught up in the moment. I asked him "What am I supposed to do now?" and he said "You're not 'supposed' to do anything. Just tell him what you told me"(the whole regretting my confession).
So the thing is...I'm not sure exactly what to do from here. I mean, I know I should apologize for confessing and explain why, but when I actually see him, what do I do from there? Should we hook up when we see each other though it'll most likely be a summer fling? Or should I actually ask to be more then friends, knowing we live so far away? Take the risk of ruining a friendship or keep safe and just stay friends?
[CENTER]Darling, you look so beautiful to these invalid eyes of mine. [/CENTER]