that im truning into those girls i make fun of.
okay, well im going out with this boy Alexis(idk if i still am] but hes one of my best friends. so we started going out on Febuary 26, 2008. we had some purdy good times. but with most of my "boyfriends" well it only lasts for like 2 weeks or so. but the reason why i aint break up with Alexis was b/c i was already starting to fall for him. so right now (hopefully] its 4 months. but like 4 days after my birthday (may 26] we end up "doing the nasty" like it just happened. so his mom found out and she doesnt want him with me anymore. so i think thats stupid. like i belive what he says and i knoe its the truth b/c i could tell by how he says it and how he looks at me. i knoe im only 14 and stuff but i aint too young to knoe what the hell love is. love is ageless basicly. and plus its call "young love" and/or "teenage love". like most boys i go with always wants some ass but he like never tried to make me do something i didnt want to do. but im not saying that i did it with the other boys. but anyways, i thought this sumnmer was gonna be effin AWESOME but no. shes messing it all up! like i just wanna see if hes okay and i just wanna hear his voice again. i miss him like Fu@k!!!! and i havent talked to him snice like the 28. and im flipping out on everyone. i cant eat and i cant sleep. and now im cutting myself even more, punching walls and other stuff, like i dont wanna break up with him. i do love him, i love him more than my crab! and thats some crazy shizzel! this crap is killing me. i dont knoe what to do. and yesterday he came over my house but i was at the movies so i just started flipping out on everyone. like alot of ppl say that i look good but i dont belive em, but he makes me feel beautiful. i never felt the way im feeling now with anyone before. like i lost my best friend in a car accident on January of this year and he was like so important to me. like, im not trying to lose another important person in my life. like his mom gotta understand that hes growig up, hes gonna be 15 in like 3 months. she gives em EVERYTHING that he wants, and i asked em if he wanted to be with me for a long time and he said yea so i dont em to tell his mom "you give me everything i want, and i wanna be with her so why cant i get that?" idk if he did tho. and she thinks imma get em into trouble or hurt him and i knoe i aint, why would i wanna hurt or get someboy in trouble that i love? like last time my moms found out bout my brotha and his gurl doing like she was mad but she let them keep on going out. and now they been together for a damn effin year! i want that, i want him. ahhhhhh!!!!!!!!!! i wanna kill myself. but heres the thing, like in my head i knoe that he has to leave but its my heart that cant accept it. i just dont knoe what to do. and last time she told me that im still young and just stay with my friend-boys and then one of em is gonna be the one i wanna be with, and her son was my damn best friend and now look, im head-over-heels for em.
can somebodie just help me???
okay, well im going out with this boy Alexis(idk if i still am] but hes one of my best friends. so we started going out on Febuary 26, 2008. we had some purdy good times. but with most of my "boyfriends" well it only lasts for like 2 weeks or so. but the reason why i aint break up with Alexis was b/c i was already starting to fall for him. so right now (hopefully] its 4 months. but like 4 days after my birthday (may 26] we end up "doing the nasty" like it just happened. so his mom found out and she doesnt want him with me anymore. so i think thats stupid. like i belive what he says and i knoe its the truth b/c i could tell by how he says it and how he looks at me. i knoe im only 14 and stuff but i aint too young to knoe what the hell love is. love is ageless basicly. and plus its call "young love" and/or "teenage love". like most boys i go with always wants some ass but he like never tried to make me do something i didnt want to do. but im not saying that i did it with the other boys. but anyways, i thought this sumnmer was gonna be effin AWESOME but no. shes messing it all up! like i just wanna see if hes okay and i just wanna hear his voice again. i miss him like Fu@k!!!! and i havent talked to him snice like the 28. and im flipping out on everyone. i cant eat and i cant sleep. and now im cutting myself even more, punching walls and other stuff, like i dont wanna break up with him. i do love him, i love him more than my crab! and thats some crazy shizzel! this crap is killing me. i dont knoe what to do. and yesterday he came over my house but i was at the movies so i just started flipping out on everyone. like alot of ppl say that i look good but i dont belive em, but he makes me feel beautiful. i never felt the way im feeling now with anyone before. like i lost my best friend in a car accident on January of this year and he was like so important to me. like, im not trying to lose another important person in my life. like his mom gotta understand that hes growig up, hes gonna be 15 in like 3 months. she gives em EVERYTHING that he wants, and i asked em if he wanted to be with me for a long time and he said yea so i dont em to tell his mom "you give me everything i want, and i wanna be with her so why cant i get that?" idk if he did tho. and she thinks imma get em into trouble or hurt him and i knoe i aint, why would i wanna hurt or get someboy in trouble that i love? like last time my moms found out bout my brotha and his gurl doing like she was mad but she let them keep on going out. and now they been together for a damn effin year! i want that, i want him. ahhhhhh!!!!!!!!!! i wanna kill myself. but heres the thing, like in my head i knoe that he has to leave but its my heart that cant accept it. i just dont knoe what to do. and last time she told me that im still young and just stay with my friend-boys and then one of em is gonna be the one i wanna be with, and her son was my damn best friend and now look, im head-over-heels for em.
can somebodie just help me???