Strict Parents!

Morello227 · Apr 11th 2007, 5:31pm

Howdy

I am an only child of two parents who have a very strict hold on me, while my other friends experience a lot more freedom.

As a 16 yeard old these are my parents rules:

- I have to be in my room at 10:00 pm on a school night, with no exceptions. If I am late getting into my room and shutting the door I get in trouble, and if for any reason I am out of my room past 10:00 pm I get in a lot of crap, unless I have a good excuse for it.

- I have a STRICT curfew of 10:00 pm on a school night, non-negotiable. I am usually asked to be in by 9:45 pm.

- I have a curfew of 10:30-11:00 pm on weekends, big difference eh?:mad: If I ask for an exention I would get 11:30.. maybe, while other friends of mine get a standard curfew of about 12:00 pm on weekends.

- I am not allowed to drink, or party.. though I do anyways whenever I can sneak it, I am also not allowed to be affiliated with people who drink and party. A best-friend of mine who I have known since I was in elementary school's parents have just recently allowed him to drink and party when the situation arises and my parents tell me to "not hang around with him anymore because he's a bad influence."

- I am not allowed to stay overnight at friends houses, with few exceptions. I would probably stay overnight at a friends house maybe once every two months, a 'no' is usually given regardless if parents are there, or if other friends are staying there aswell..

- I am not allowed to have friends in the house when my parents are not home or will get in MAJOR trouble, or am allowed in any house that does not have parents in it or I will get in MAJOR trouble aswell. My parents have even gone to houses I was going to before without me knowing just to see if I was lying about parents being home.

- I am not allowed in parts of town that my parents don't like, even with my friends.. such as 'downtown' for instance, basically places outside my neighbourhood are a no-no.

- I am not allowed to go to a friends house right after school without getting in trouble by my parents, I am to come straight home after school before going out anywheres. If I do go anywheres after school it's usually after a large fight on the phone with mom about it.

At this point I'm basically going insane, all my other friends are allowed so much freedom compared to this. I've showed these rules to friends, friends parents, relatives. And NONE have said that these rules aren't ridiculous.

But I don't get it, I'm an only child, why do my parents think that they are raising me right while all other parents are in the wrong? I'm there first shot at raising a kid.

I just need some feedback on it, I'm going crazy. And it's not in my character to tell them off about it either.

Tell me what you think, maybe I can show it to them sometime and they can start to realize that they aren't always right.:mad:

$ air $ · Apr 11th 2007, 7:23pm

WOW, I thought I had it bad. Not gonna go into my parents' unwritten rules cuz they are nothing compared to this. I'm sorry if your parents are reading this, but these rules are absolutely crazy. It's not you that's crazy as you said above, it really is your parents. OK, I understand you're their baby and they love you, but I know from seeing this happen right infront of me before that the more parents restrict their children, the more their children rebel. Give the kid a bit of freedom and they don't want it. I'm still reeling in shock after reading your post above, man I feel so sorry for you. Some people will post and say 'Talk about it with them.' but I know how hard it is to talk to parents who refuse to listen to a word you say, so I'm saying now, don't listen to them.

If you wanna talk about this PM me or something man, I seriously feel like talking this over with you big time, or add me on MSN, [email protected]. I really don't know what else to write here, plus I gotta go make food. Take care x

Morello227 · Apr 11th 2007, 8:25pm

Yeah, definatley.

Thanks for the words too, I'd appreciate if I could get some more feedback, tell we what you guys think.

peachypotpies · Apr 11th 2007, 10:47pm

Hmm. I dunno if I'm as bad off as you, but here are my rules:

In bed for any day, unless I'm out with friends: by 10:30
Get up by 9:30am on weekends and breaks.
Must do some sort of excercise for atleast 1 hour a day. (I walk from school to our tennis center which is about 1,5 miles everyday, but that doesn count.)

But my dad is pretty liberal about alcohol and stuff. I get to drink a bit at the dinner table, and I'm on a exchange program in Germany (the min. age for low content alcohol is 16) all he said was 'you know your limits.'

jpx · Apr 13th 2007, 1:50am

k, your parents are way over protective, its like if their trying to stop you from growing up any further. Like, they have obviously drank before when they where your age and done the same stuff, they are litterally fucking with your head, this is the kind of stuff you would do to your kid if you wanted them to cut their wrists open! Might aswell move-in to the nearest jail. Your parents have to give you some slack, your what, 16yo, your not a kid anymore, your a young adult, that means you should have the right to go around, stay out as late as you want, get drunk, hook up with random guys, and just have fun! They have to let you make your own mistakes.

Saved-by-Grace · Apr 13th 2007, 6:56am

jpx wrote:

k, your parents are way over protective, its like if their trying to stop you from growing up any further. Like, they have obviously drank before when they where your age and done the same stuff, they are litterally fucking with your head, this is the kind of stuff you would do to your kid if you wanted them to cut their wrists open! Might aswell move-in to the nearest jail. Your parents have to give you some slack, your what, 16yo, your not a kid anymore, your a young adult, that means you should have the right to go around, stay out as late as you want, get drunk, hook up with random guys, and just have fun! They have to let you make your own mistakes.

Pssh. Can't wait till you have children...
That's singularly the most pathetic, childish thing I've heard in... a long time.

Morello, quit whining. You're parents are strict, yes. But it could be a whole lot "worse".
I know far too many teens that would give anything for their parents to care enough to set some boundaries.
You don't have to believe it, but you're parents love you and only want what's best. (how's that for a retro statement!?)
Seriously though, you can live with it. I promise it'll only hurt you if you don't.

butterfsofie · Apr 13th 2007, 1:32pm

Morello227 wrote:

Yeah, definatley.

Thanks for the words too, I'd appreciate if I could get some more feedback, tell we what you guys think.

hmmm

i think that ur parents are way too strict and for no reason.
i m about the same age as u [16.5] and i think that its ok for parents
to set some boundaries, but there is a boundary in it too.
i mean, this is supposed to be the best age ad we are supposed to have fun and do crazy things.. ok, i dont mean overdo it, but u have to have things to remember...
some things they do, are really exagerate.
i really dont know what to advice, cause if u dont listen to them, they will say they can trust u and may be even stricter and wont let u do even more things.
u seem not to have done sth to betray their trust, so i really cant say why they are so strict and what u should do.

i m not sure that if u talked to them, sth would change, i suppose that u will have tried that allready.. maybe u should just demand some things, that are natural. but u should try a little bit a time, so there wont be a big change for them.. i think that if u tried to ask a few things, and insist, they will have to realize that u have allready grown up and allow some things to you.

and u could tell them that kids who are so overprotected by their families when they live home, they always overdo it, cause they have all those freedom, ubruptly, and they lose control. sometime u will leave the house too, and make them realize that they make u want to leave as sooner as possible..
mmm dont know if i helped u..
but, anyway... good luck

jpx · Apr 13th 2007, 5:55pm

saved by grace, your kidding right, how can this be good for her, yes bounderies are good, but not too mutch, and thats way overboard. And you say you can't wait till i have children, I wont raise my kids like fucking robots, my parents gave me freedom and tought me right from wrong and thats all i needed, i stayed away from drugs and all the bad stuff. I turned out great. Some of my friends where raised with really stict rules, and every chance they get they go out, get trashed, stonned, and fuck as mutch as they can just to get back to their parents. I just dont think its the right way to raise kids.

FutureNavyMan08 · Apr 14th 2007, 12:23am

Your parents are actually pretty lax. Curfew at 10? I would kill for that. You're only 16- you're not an adult. Drinking at that age is illegal. The rest of their rules are quit resaonable. Maybe if you stopped resisting so much they would lighten up. But you really have nothing to complain about and more to be thankfull for. Your parents odviousely care about you a lot, and theese rules are for your safety. Get used to rules; you'll always have to deal with them.

AffairesRisque · Apr 14th 2007, 4:34am

I think the first rule about you being in your room at 10:00 is absurd. I also think they might be a little strict on the sleepover thing.

But, you're only 16 years old. You need some boundaries. I think 11:00 p.m. is a very lenient curfew for as old as you are. Just be happy with that!

And I see where your parents are coming from when they don't want you with people who drink or party. If I had a 16 year old, I wouldn't want him/her around that either. I also see where they're coming from about not letting you walk around downtown. I'm 19 years old, and I still don't like to be by myself in town.

You might think they're being very strict, but they're really not that bad. They just care about you and expect more from you because they care. They don't want you to get hurt. Maybe, if you show them that you are a responsible person, they will be a little more lenient with you as you get older.

Remember: there are kids out there who don't have parents or parents who pay attention to them. You're so lucky to have a mom and dad who love you and try to keep you safe!

butterfsofie · Apr 14th 2007, 1:24pm

jpx wrote:

saved by grace, your kidding right, how can this be good for her, yes bounderies are good, but not too mutch, and thats way overboard. And you say you can't wait till i have children, I wont raise my kids like fucking robots, my parents gave me freedom and tought me right from wrong and thats all i needed, i stayed away from drugs and all the bad stuff. I turned out great. Some of my friends where raised with really stict rules, and every chance they get they go out, get trashed, stonned, and fuck as mutch as they can just to get back to their parents. I just dont think its the right way to raise kids.

i think i would agree...
most of the kids that are raised with stricked rules, just wanna leave their homes the sooner.
i wouldnt like my kids to hate me.
my parents give me freedom up to a certain point, and they wont allow me to do some things that i like when they think its wrong..
i know whats wrong and right, and i will make mistakes too, but i wont do things that they told me not to.

more over, kids grow up and then they will have to face the world, and leave their homes, and it will be much worse, if they have no idea how to protect themselves out there.;)

$ air $ · Apr 15th 2007, 1:38pm

excuse me, please can i point out that there are a whole other bunch of rules that no-one is commenting on. bedtime and drinking have been stripped and discussed, if people are going to reply to this it may help to discuss the things that cant be waived (might have to be in the room by a certain time but you can stay awake, might not be allowed to drink but parents arent going to find out if you have a tiny sip of something - these can be waived) such as not being allowed to have friends over/go to friends' houses. yeah i know someone is gonna come out and say 'well those can be waived too' but come on, this guy needs advice on everything and the best we can do is give it to him

AffairesRisque · Apr 15th 2007, 5:27pm

boing789 wrote:

excuse me, please can i point out that there are a whole other bunch of rules that no-one is commenting on. bedtime and drinking have been stripped and discussed, if people are going to reply to this it may help to discuss the things that cant be waived (might have to be in the room by a certain time but you can stay awake, might not be allowed to drink but parents arent going to find out if you have a tiny sip of something - these can be waived) such as not being allowed to have friends over/go to friends' houses. yeah i know someone is gonna come out and say 'well those can be waived too' but come on, this guy needs advice on everything and the best we can do is give it to him

Could you clarify your point? I don't understand what you're trying to say. O.o

skynyrd214 · Apr 16th 2007, 4:51am

talk to your parents about it. my parents are pretty strict too. but you just got to deal with it sometimes. they want the best for you, and they ARE your parents. they can raise you in their way. and if you don't like it, tell them about it. if they don't listen, then get the hell out when you are in college. when you live in your parents' house, at least respect their rules (or act like you do =P).

you really don't have it that bad. it's a lot better than some people i know. it's nearly the same or maybe even better than the rules that my parents have. you just have to deal with it. it's not the end of the world. and you DO have college to look forward to.

kawaii05 · Apr 28th 2007, 10:55pm

you're luckier coz your curfew is 10:30. shit mine? ohh 7:00 sometimes they get mad when am outa home just for an hour or two. hmMmp thats why i stay at my room all the time coz i hate hearing sermons.,:thumbdown:

Saved-by-Grace · Apr 30th 2007, 7:34pm

jpx wrote:

saved by grace, your kidding right, how can this be good for her, yes bounderies are good, but not too mutch, and thats way overboard. And you say you can't wait till i have children, I wont raise my kids like fucking robots, my parents gave me freedom and tought me right from wrong and thats all i needed, i stayed away from drugs and all the bad stuff. I turned out great. Some of my friends where raised with really stict rules, and every chance they get they go out, get trashed, stonned, and fuck as mutch as they can just to get back to their parents. I just dont think its the right way to raise kids.

Oh, who cares if this is late...

jpx, no. I'm not kidding.
And who's to say this kid's a robot? Wow... keeping a leash on a child for reasons beneficial to all involved is now some virtual tyranny... :rolleyes:

Alright then. What's right and what's wrong? Who are you to say, and how do you know your parents were correct?
Drugs and all that bad stuff... what bad stuff?
Who says drugs are bad? Marijuana is actually perfectly natural, and as long as you're not hurting anyone... who cares? (Note that I'm not condoning this, folks.)
And puh-lease. Don't go turning that "kids just go wild when they've been in a cage too long" scenario on me.
Newsflash: That would be the fault of the KIDS. Not the parents.
Whether the kids want to pin the blame on their parents for being too controlling or not, everyone ultimately has a choice. If I go and take a gun on a rampage in the mall when I'm done here, and say it's because my parents didn't let me stay up late to watch the SNL show the other night... that's not the problem of my mom and dad. That's completely my doing.
Get that much straight.
You have two options in a case like Morello's.
Respect your parents, and become a better individual because of it in the long run.
Or go off on a whining tangent on the internet before you disregard everything you know you should be doing and by your own will turn into some amoral lunatic.
Just don't go blaming the parents that gave you life and an understanding of love to begin with.

eyaf_sm · Apr 30th 2007, 9:04pm

Some people have mentioned that you're still a child at 16 and NEED strict rules placed on you. And to an extent, I agree. I agree that you should have some rules in place to keep you out of trouble and to show you how important you are to your parents.

But, at 16, you are probably only a couple years away from leaving home to live on your own. You deserve some freedom, within reason, so that you will know how to act in social situations and so that you are not "shell shocked" so to speak, when you get out on your own.

It is important to build a child's confidence and social skills before they leave home so that they can fit into society and behave in an acceptable manner. If you are given no trust growing up, it will not help you when you leave home. If your parents don't respect you as an individual 100%, it is not likely that you will respect them or their rules. It's unfortunate that your parents don't realize this, and there probably isn't too much you can do, other than try to build their trust in an attempt to lesson their hold.

The longer your parents treat you as a child, the longer you will behave as a child.

Kelly · May 17th 2007, 10:33am

my parents are kinda strict but then im only 13, my bedtime and stuff is not strict but mum suggests i should go to bed if i look tired. im not allowed out late and if i go out she makes sure she knows where i am and stuff and if i am late in even by a minute i am grounded for a week. i can have friends round anytime i like but on a school night they can only stay for a little bit but at weekends and holidays they can sleep over and stuff (not boyz tho!) and the same rules for me going to my friends houses

i cant drink but they let me try it and i dont realy wanna drink as i dont like it (guess that makes me sound well sad dont it!)

at 16 you can leave home and do what you like and mum and dad always say that at 16 i can do what i like as long as it is legal and responsible and i am lookin after myself, so sorry to be rude but your parents should lighten up a bit and let you free, thos as its there house you have to respect them too

rules are ok as long as they are fair my dad always says i should wait until im an adult and see the rules i have to live by then with paying tax and at work when they tell me to do sommat by a certin time and stuff!

Jenn · May 17th 2007, 9:53pm

I had the whole 10:00 curfew on weekdays until I was 18. And my curfew was 11:00 on the weekends until 18, too.

It will get better, but it usually helps if you have someone to go to bat for you. Do you have any older siblings or family members that could try to talk some sense into your parents?

mfcoolee · May 21st 2007, 3:34am

Wow. How wonderful I feel to find my twin. My parents let me close my door, when I want. and my curfew is worse than yours.

But I sympathize with you completely. How do you deal with it??

Have you done anything behind their backs??

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