To start off, I'm not sure if this is in the right forum or not. For one, I'm not forum savvy, two - this is my first post on here, so forgive me if it's out of place, or three, if this is too inappropriate for a place such as this, feel free to delete it. I'd appreciate no trolls or flaming, heh.
Now, onto the real question.
I don't do drugs, and I stopped drinking a while back. I got caught up in that whole thing, and I shouldn't have, blahblah.. whatever. Anyways. I always found it okay for me to do it. But when other people I care about do it, I become frightfully indignant and belittling in the process of them telling me about an "experience" or some story involving substances of any sort.
I have an alcohol-abusing mother, and I've had a few close friends who've warped a classically conditioned mindset that you become this horrible, evil person when you use or drink. Now, I like to see myself as an open-minded person, but sometimes, things like this, especially when a close friend (one of the FEW I have) or a significant other tells me - it just hurts me to no end.
I know for a fact that this isn't true, that the people I'm close to NOW don't abuse anything, but the once in a long time they DO it and tell me, I get irrationally belligerent and upset. The first thing that comes to mind is, "Oh, that's bad for you, that's terrible, you really shouldn't do that.." etc. I'm certain, after a while of hearing this, it's a buzzkill and it hurts people close to me, as well as confuses them.
When I did do anything with them, it was alright for me in MY head to do it while I was there.. so I'm not sure why it's not alright when I'm not there.
First suggestion was jealousy in its purest, ripest form, that I rarely get out of the house often enough to hang out with anybody to begin with, that when I hear all these other stories about people going to have fun and do the whole party scene, I feel left out or jealous.
Another suggestion is that I've been taught all my life that substances, when handled by other people, are BAD, and even though I know what people are like, they still give me this awful negative vibe about how I should feel about substance use. So I instantly respond with their "I had a great time having a few drinks with such-and-such" as a blatantly negative reception of emotion. And I'm not sure how to feel differently.
I believe I've a few things wrong with me in that aspect to probably not help - post-traumatic stress disorder, anxiety and social paranoia, and low self-esteem issues don't help, but this is what I see. Some people just find it a part of who you are. Maybe this isn't a considerable factor, initially.
I'm not sure how to change, or who to talk to about this. How do I feel differently? How do I set limits on my emotions, or wean myself away from such a negative feeling?
I'd appreciate CONSTRUCTIVE feedback, I'm quite serious, as well as lost, on the topic above.
Thank you,
Amanda
Now, onto the real question.
I don't do drugs, and I stopped drinking a while back. I got caught up in that whole thing, and I shouldn't have, blahblah.. whatever. Anyways. I always found it okay for me to do it. But when other people I care about do it, I become frightfully indignant and belittling in the process of them telling me about an "experience" or some story involving substances of any sort.
I have an alcohol-abusing mother, and I've had a few close friends who've warped a classically conditioned mindset that you become this horrible, evil person when you use or drink. Now, I like to see myself as an open-minded person, but sometimes, things like this, especially when a close friend (one of the FEW I have) or a significant other tells me - it just hurts me to no end.
I know for a fact that this isn't true, that the people I'm close to NOW don't abuse anything, but the once in a long time they DO it and tell me, I get irrationally belligerent and upset. The first thing that comes to mind is, "Oh, that's bad for you, that's terrible, you really shouldn't do that.." etc. I'm certain, after a while of hearing this, it's a buzzkill and it hurts people close to me, as well as confuses them.
When I did do anything with them, it was alright for me in MY head to do it while I was there.. so I'm not sure why it's not alright when I'm not there.
First suggestion was jealousy in its purest, ripest form, that I rarely get out of the house often enough to hang out with anybody to begin with, that when I hear all these other stories about people going to have fun and do the whole party scene, I feel left out or jealous.
Another suggestion is that I've been taught all my life that substances, when handled by other people, are BAD, and even though I know what people are like, they still give me this awful negative vibe about how I should feel about substance use. So I instantly respond with their "I had a great time having a few drinks with such-and-such" as a blatantly negative reception of emotion. And I'm not sure how to feel differently.
I believe I've a few things wrong with me in that aspect to probably not help - post-traumatic stress disorder, anxiety and social paranoia, and low self-esteem issues don't help, but this is what I see. Some people just find it a part of who you are. Maybe this isn't a considerable factor, initially.
I'm not sure how to change, or who to talk to about this. How do I feel differently? How do I set limits on my emotions, or wean myself away from such a negative feeling?
I'd appreciate CONSTRUCTIVE feedback, I'm quite serious, as well as lost, on the topic above.
Thank you,
Amanda
Live till the end, and in the end, Hope that others will appreciated what you've done.