Being gay gives me depression..

    • Being gay gives me depression..

      So hello ..
      I don't want to give u out my personal background because I'm afraid some of my friends are Teen forum's user too.
      Anyways im 16 yrs old.
      I'm gay.
      I was born gay..when I was little I used to like the same sex
      I always hang out with my straight friends..I keep denying that I'm gay.. I know that I'm gay..but I really DONT want anyone to know..not my mom.. not my friends.. not even to the person I trust the most.
      I have a very low self esteem.
      I try to act straight, try to dress straight.
      I can't be 'be yourself'..I listen to music that people think is not gay..I do things that people think are not gay.. The point is I'm gay but I don't want to be..
      Plus I'm a christian..
      I don't know..all these things make me depressed. I have depression because of this.
      Can any1 help me please?
      P.S: If some of you homophobes want to mock me, please don't.. not right now..I'm feeling really down

    • Re: Being gay gives me depression..

      First of all I would like to say;
      Anyone that bags this guy out for being gay expect -rep because its unfair and nasty, he has done nothing to any of you.. He just wants some friendly support.

      Okay back to basics;
      So you are gay, its good that you have found your sexuality and that you are happy with this.. It must be really hard for you to keep it a secret and not be able to tell anyone, but I can see where you are coming from and keeping such a thing locked up inside you must just make it hard.
      you say you dress like a straight, listen to straights music and do everything to keep the secret locked up and this must be hard not being able to let yourself be free and dress/look like you wish you could.
      Hopefully some time, maybe when you get a little older and you don't care as much what people think you may announce your sexuality. Then you will be able to dress, listen to music you like and do what ever you feel like without feeling guilty and locked up.

      Have you ever thought or seen a counselor about all of this, because I haven't been to one myself but I have heard some great feedback from people that have gone and seen them. If you go see someone at your school or on a weekend they might be able to give you some heads up and pointers to letting it all out and not feeling so upset about it all.

      Remember, I am here to help so if you need any support please just contact myself over PM and I will give you what ever help you need if its practical, or just anything.
      Good on you my friend.
      [CENTER][SIZE=7][SIZE=6]TeenHut[/SIZE].net[/SIZE][/CENTER]
      [CENTER]A Place For Teens[/CENTER]

    • Re: Being gay gives me depression..

      hmm, this one sucks.

      im not gay myself, nor homophobe, what pleases the mind, pleases us, do what you like.
      society needs to snap the fuck out of their own contradicting, hypocritical lives.

      just because you feel one way or another about a sex, dont let yourself think its "wrong" or "disturbing" its a natural animal fact, humans "beleive it or not" are animals, even to an extreme sometimes, and you said your Christian? shit, i wouldn't worry bout that, 60 year old Catholics are fiddling with 5 year old girls, now that shit is wrong. there's more in this world than religion, and what "others" beleive to be proper and right. chill.

      i'm 19, i've already come to realise, its not what people think of you, its what YOU DO that matters.
      [CENTER][SIZE=4][/SIZE][SIZE=2]Can you imagine what I would do if I could do all I can?[/SIZE] [/CENTER]

    • Re: Being gay gives me depression..

      What others have said before me is true, this is the type of advice you need to listen to and you need to follow. You need to accept the fact that you're gay to be truly happy with who you are. Being gay isn't a problem, as long as you still love yourself. You need to give yourself time to accept this fact and you don't need to necessarily tell people right away that you're gay. How do you expect people to accept you for who you are when you can't accept it yourself?

      Violette, this world is really full of judgement and hatred. You will come across people who won't like the fact that you're gay, but you need to be strong and come through it. Life is all about learning and life is certainly about finding yourself. The fact of the matter is, whether or not you like this about yourself, you know who you are and nobody can't tell you otherwise.

      Love yourself and others will love you.
      [CENTER]You bitches are beautiful. :hugs:[/CENTER]

      The post was edited 2 times, last by armyforthebroken: Adding more stuff. ().

    • Re: Being gay gives me depression..

      Dude, you remind me of myself few years back.

      Except that I was depressed because of other issues.

      There is nothing better than getting active when it comes to depression.

      You could join a gym like me, and hit the weights. If you pay more respect to your body, other people will respect you more too.

      I don't think you should mentally torture up yourself for unwillingly being gay. As others made it clear, you should like yourself. If you are confident in your own skin and have great personality, I don't see why people would diss you just because you are gay.

      Good luck.

    • Re: Being gay gives me depression..

      CJ, I hang out with people like u.
      Would it shock u if one of ur 'straight' friend happens to be gay?
      Isnt it weird haha
      And yes, I have a self-hatred because of this.
      I -NEVER- Open up to anyone..I lock my emotions inside.. I'm not emo though lol
      I want to look tough, like u know..
      I don't know guys.. There's just alot of things i have in my mind..
      And you know when guys would say''oh that sht is gay..oh thats fkin gay...etc'' I would say 'yeah it is..' and I jst keep it to myself..
      I don't really think I'm 'fully gay'.
      I think girls are cute too.
      Idk.. weird

    • Violette I feel your pain for being a believer in God while carrying the can for homophobes and probably - even churchgoers themselves. As our support leader 'Army' said, you need to give yourself time and not tell others of your sexuality. And I say the same, for one day you can walk free and be seen and accepted for the person you choose to be.

      One of the chief reasons for my ex-communication from my church was because I am gay. I carried a load of retribution and hate, even hate mail from the priests in my church, and life was difficult, still is but I let things roll and so should you. For you also can rise above all of them. You have to believe in yourself, walk forward being proud in who you are, not what others expect you to be a mirror of their selfish selves. Coming from them - that's not love, and it would be a pretty poor church if the people you know there are acting like haters.



      Best,
      Poppi

      Adding... because you are gay doesn't mean you have to give up on your faith and beliefs. :)



      Sometimes the best memories people make, are new ones.

      The post was edited 1 time, last by Glamour Puss ().

    • Re: Being gay gives me depression..

      U're right access thanks for replying.
      it's just that for my whole entire life I never opened up as a gay person or portray one. My family may or may not know I'm gay I'm not sure.. But i'm pretty sure they're not open-minded.
      I'd be open when I live by myself and when I'm ready to settle down I think..

      I have never wished to be gay.. Seriously..But you can't fight yourself..

    • Re: Being gay gives me depression..

      VioLeTTe wrote:

      So hello ..
      I don't want to give u out my personal background because I'm afraid some of my friends are Teen forum's user too.
      Anyways im 16 yrs old.
      I'm gay.
      I was born gay..when I was little I used to like the same sex
      I always hang out with my straight friends..I keep denying that I'm gay.. I know that I'm gay..but I really DONT want anyone to know..not my mom.. not my friends.. not even to the person I trust the most.
      I have a very low self esteem.
      I try to act straight, try to dress straight.
      I can't be 'be yourself'..I listen to music that people think is not gay..I do things that people think are not gay.. The point is I'm gay but I don't want to be..
      Plus I'm a christian..
      I don't know..all these things make me depressed. I have depression because of this.
      Can any1 help me please?
      P.S: If some of you homophobes want to mock me, please don't.. not right now..I'm feeling really down


      you cannot change who you are.

      all things that are fact go through 3 stages, first its ridiculed: you scream at yourself no doubt, try to deny it.

      then it is opposed: you hate yourself, try your hardest not to be what you are but all it does is make you miserable.

      then it is accepted as self evident: you need to do this, accept it.

      your friends are supposed to be true friends, and true friends stick by each other.

      your bible was written by man as their interpritation of gods word, but god did not write it himself. a lot of their views were put in, and a lot of it is false and wrong.


      you need to stop tormenting yourself. accept what you are, ease it into others lives. start to drop hints...slowly. ease the idea in their minds.

      if they cannot accept you, they do not deserve you.

      "treat thy neighbour as thy would expect to be treated."

      your human, you deserve happiness, not misery.
      [SIZE=2]Gay and looking for a friend? Hell, any sexuality is welcome. PM ME FRIENDS VERY WELCOME! hehe[/SIZE]

      Reliving life as I should. :)

    • Re: Being gay gives me depression..

      Violette you don't have to "fight yourself"; be yourself. And enjoy the company of other gay people you encounter in the weeks, months and years ahead.

      Even today, many of our 21st Century people are homophobic. But it is their loss, except you need to be mindful as I am sure you are, of those who are shut-faced against anything "gay". In time, maybe those you know who are straight will accept you. If not, then shake the dust off the soles of your shoes and be apart from them, for they are ignorant and unforgiving.

      Cirrax wrote good encouragement.



      Sometimes the best memories people make, are new ones.

    • Re: Being gay gives me depression..

      Hi :)

      First of all I don't think you should be depressed about it (even though I know it's not easy..) But I suggest seeing things the other way around... Does living in denial make you happy ? Does keeping so many things to yourself make you happy? Does seeing everybody else feeling and expressing love , knowing that you can never be allowed to do the same make you happy? I should think not... So why live like that? Just try and ask yourself , if you lived in a place where nobody could judge you how would you choose to live? It's not society and homophobes who won't let you.. You won't let yourself.
      Give yourself the chance to feel who you are.

      It can be tough, but why should you care? Fuck em ! Everyone's free and you deserve to do whatever the hell you want!

      I do know that it's easier said than done especially when you're living under the rules of a conservative society. But, nobody has the right to tell you that being gay is wrong. I'd like to see one of those conservative priests dealing with one of their gay kids . ( Mind you , I do not have anything against priests or church and I'm not saying that all priests behave in the same way, I'm just mentioning them cos you did )

      I'd advice you to take things slowly. Don't try to rush coming out etc.( NEVER COME OUT WHEN ARGUING JUST TO SHOCK PEOPLE) Take your time accept yourself for who you are.
      Denial is only going to make you more miserable. The sooner you're fine with who you are the better for you.

      Also, I know you may not like this but I'm saying it to save you from pointless efforts, THERE IS NO WAY TO CHANGE YOUR SEXUALITY, AS MUCH AS YOU SUPPRESS YOUR FEELINGS THE ONLY WAY IS TO ACCEPT YOURSELF.
      You'll have to come to terms with the fact eventually... If you're not READY DON'T!
      But, still the choice is yours :
      The sooner you decide to deal with things the less sleepless nights in denial and panic...

      Good Luck :)
      [SIZE="4"]Don't want to wake up...[/SIZE]

    • Re: Being gay gives me depression..

      See_Right_Through_Me wrote:

      Hi :)

      First of all I don't think you should be depressed about it (even though I know it's not easy..) But I suggest seeing things the other way around... Does living in denial make you happy ? Does keeping so many things to yourself make you happy? Does seeing everybody else feeling and expressing love , knowing that you can never be allowed to do the same make you happy? I should think not... So why live like that? Just try and ask yourself , if you lived in a place where nobody could judge you how would you choose to live? It's not society and homophobes who won't let you.. You won't let yourself.
      Give yourself the chance to feel who you are.

      It can be tough, but why should you care? Fuck em ! Everyone's free and you deserve to do whatever the hell you want!

      I do know that it's easier said than done especially when you're living under the rules of a conservative society. But, nobody has the right to tell you that being gay is wrong. I'd like to see one of those conservative priests dealing with one of their gay kids . ( Mind you , I do not have anything against priests or church and I'm not saying that all priests behave in the same way, I'm just mentioning them cos you did )

      I'd advice you to take things slowly. Don't try to rush coming out etc.( NEVER COME OUT WHEN ARGUING JUST TO SHOCK PEOPLE) Take your time accept yourself for who you are.
      Denial is only going to make you more miserable. The sooner you're fine with who you are the better for you.

      Also, I know you may not like this but I'm saying it to save you from pointless efforts, THERE IS NO WAY TO CHANGE YOUR SEXUALITY, AS MUCH AS YOU SUPPRESS YOUR FEELINGS THE ONLY WAY IS TO ACCEPT YOURSELF.
      You'll have to come to terms with the fact eventually... If you're not READY DON'T!
      But, still the choice is yours :
      The sooner you decide to deal with things the less sleepless nights in denial and panic...

      Good Luck :)


      You hit the nail on the head!
      Well the thing i'm most afraid of is rejection.
      Especially since I'm depressed..
      What if when I come out people won't like me anymore? I will lose friends..lose my dignity..and confidence?
      I have a low self esteem already..and if I receive more denial..I will become worse.
      Yes I know I can't change my sexual orientation, but I wish I have never been gay..so I wouldnt need to deal with this kind of stuff..

    • Re: Being gay gives me depression..

      VioLeTTe wrote:

      You hit the nail on the head!
      Well the thing i'm most afraid of is rejection.
      Especially since I'm depressed..
      What if when I come out people won't like me anymore? I will lose friends..lose my dignity..and confidence?
      I have a low self esteem already..and if I receive more denial..I will become worse.
      Yes I know I can't change my sexual orientation, but I wish I have never been gay..so I wouldnt need to deal with this kind of stuff..


      I went through this, you need to look at it from the true side of things. what is the definition of a friend?

      someone who is there for you, helps you, and accept you for who you are. a companion that you share with the good times, and the bad.

      whats kind of friends are they if they dont accept you?

      now I don't know about you...but I would rather have no friends at all and be completely alone, than be surrounded by those that would never accept me for who I am, and are nothing but fakes.

      A friend is a friend for life, you will make new friends. :)

      Your religious..the lord is your sheapard and he knows your gay, he created you, so you have a purpose in his eyes. and it is not to be beaten down by society and false friends.

      Take a stand, obviously not yet see_right_through_me gave amazing advice. + rep for him/her. ^^

      listen to him/her, come out when your ready, accepot yourself. tell a close friend you believe you can trust. believe me, even one person knowing will make you feel all the better. :)

      btw, I left you a profile message. I want to be your friend. ;)
      [SIZE=2]Gay and looking for a friend? Hell, any sexuality is welcome. PM ME FRIENDS VERY WELCOME! hehe[/SIZE]

      Reliving life as I should. :)

    • Re: Being gay gives me depression..

      Hehe thanks alot for the advice Cirrax! I really appreciate it.
      Yeah but I dont think coming out when ure still in high school is the best idea..
      Peer pressure >> me lol
      I know..
      Well this is actually the first time i'm opening up..
      But this doesnt count does it? On the internet..noone knows about u..that makes me become comfortable of opening up.

    • Re: Being gay gives me depression..

      in addition to all this advice I'll point something out which may ease your psychological transition:

      you say you don't listen to gay music, don't dress gay, etc.- Thank god. don't EVER think that because you are gay you are now in a separate realm from "normal" society. that is the main reason many people hate gays. No one dislikes me for being gay, and that is because I don't try to conform to a gay stereotype. It pains me to think that many gays other than myself think that they actually have specific tastes in music, fashion, etc. just because they are gay, and that if someone makes fun of their lisp or hair then they are making fun of their sexuality. Those are very separate things.

      If someone says that you need to express yourself by liking gay music and wearing gay clothes, they are actually asking you to hide yourself and conform to a stereotype.

    • Re: Being gay gives me depression..

      Inside you must be ok about being gay, but you're also most likely going to be finding it difficult to accept because you dont feel comfortable telling many people that you know in person, maybe incase they judge it or something? I opened up my feelings for women, it took a long time i'll admit but once i did, i felt a lot happier. Not always, but sometimes its best to get things out so that people can learn to start accepting it, otherwise its kept inside. If you do ever fall in love with a guy in that way people would find out sooner or later, wouldnt they:)

      Dont be uncomfortable to be yourself though, you're you! You cant help being gay, its something we cant change, its just the way you are. And being a christian shouldnt make any difference, my mom is one, but she has never found it difficult to accept my feelings towards the same sex. It may be difficult and it may take time, but as you get older you may feel a sudden comfortable feeling of telling this out and learn how to be yourself around it.

      You should never feel depressed for how you are though, but i completely understand your position.

      support leader,

      kat