Torn Between the Two

    • Torn Between the Two

      Ok, so I have this problem, well its not really a problem. Its more like who should I choose.
      I should really give you some background first. All the guy I have ever gone for are assholes. To be honest all they see me as, is boobs and legs. I've just recently went throught my ex telling me he loved me one minute, then the next dating my "best" friend back home. Its been a week since that happened.
      Ok so on with what I was orignially here to do.
      So I've been talking to this guy (guy A), for about 6 months, we've met up and we both really like eachother. I understand he's busy with his band and also his work. But we haven't talked for the last 3 weeks. At this point I'm thinking he blocked me or just really really didn't want to talk to me.
      Then theres this other guy (guy B). What can I say, he's amazing. We talk alot to eachother online, even thought we have class together. I've only just started really talking to him though about feelings etc.
      lol this is where it gets confusing. Guy B, what can I say whenever we chat, its like instant happy. He seems like he actually cares about me for me, and what he sees is just a bonus.
      Guy A, randomly pops up last night on my msn (like I said he hasn't been on in 3 weeks), saying he's missed me and he wants to date me... This hits me straight between the eyes, I'm more gobbsmacked than anything to reply. I thought he didn't want me, so I let it go. Then everything came back like how I felt about him, all the smiles, etc.
      So now I'm torn. If you need anymore information about either Guy A or B, just replie.
      My friends back home tell me to go for the one that makes me happy. They both do. Yea one may be closer than the other, but it doesn't mean anything.
      Please help!

    • Re: Torn Between the Two

      Well think of it this way: you start your description of guy A with something negative. Nowhere do you say anything about guy B that is negative. So where's the issue?

      Of course, that being said, you just had an issue with your ex sleeping with your friend a week ago? Seems like you're jumping ship rather early. Rushing into a new relationship, even with someone decent, right after you went through a semi-relationship crisis never seems to be a good idea. Taking some time off to gather your thoughts seems like a good plan. If either of these guys really does like you then they will understand, and they shouldn't have a problem with taking things slow before you jump in the dating boat.

      I did this with my current boyfriend and wouldn't have had it any other way. I broke off with a serious relationship (was living with my ex for two years) a month before I met my current. We dating non-seriously for a month, since I told him I was not ready for commitment because I felt like my mind was on my ex too much, and I felt that would be unfair to my current. Well it worked out, and we have now been officially dating for two months (and do not see any crisis on the horizons).

      Don't be afraid to be single. When I was in high school I would latch on to boyfriend after boyfriend, and looking back, it would have been nice to spend time without a guy. Don't get me wrong, being in a relationship is great, but there are so many other things going on for you right now, and if you keep choosing assholes perhaps that should be a sign that you really need to get other priorities in order so that you do not continue to make the same mistakes?

    • Re: Torn Between the Two

      First of all, be sure you're over your ex before you try going into another relationship.
      sorry to hear about what he did to you btw ; (

      It's really not a matter of what anyone else thinks, its how *you* feel. They all seem nice, maybe the one in the band isnt going to be able to make enough time for you, which may be a bit stressful, but thats just my opinion. The rest seem like lovely guys, but the question is, which guy do you truly feel you like in that way? You might love all of them, but im sure there's one you especially like.


      support leader,

      kat

    • Re: Torn Between the Two

      This is simple. Guy A sounds too busy to be in a relationship. Guy B is the one for you. You should date Guy B and have Guy A waiting online and see if Guy B is worth it. Then after a few dates with Guy B and you are sure of him. Tell Guy A, that you found someone. If Guy B does not work out with you in the first 2 to 3 dates, then go back to Guy A, like nothing happened and be like, so when am I going to see you. You can try both.

    • Re: Torn Between the Two

      Both of them don't sound that promising, considering you only talk to them online :p

      But here's the deal. Guy B sounds a lot more.....Safe (If you will) He's always talking to you, he makes you happy, and he doesn't seem to have any issues with you.

      Also, Guy A really didn't see you for a long time (As you said) and he could of changed a lot. This, meaning, that he could of picked up some bad habit, or really could of changed. So in a way, you really don't know Guy A anymore.

      My advice, is to go with Guy A.

      Good Luck :)

      Tony - Support Leader

    • Re: Torn Between the Two

      If you're unsure of who to date then i don't think you should start a relationship with either of them. There is no harm in being single, you should talk to both the lads, get to know them better and when you're sure who you want, one will stand out eventually, then you should consider a relationship.
      x x
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      The post was edited 1 time, last by x-mercedes-x ().

    • Re: Torn Between the Two

      JennyColada wrote:

      Well think of it this way: you start your description of guy A with something negative. Nowhere do you say anything about guy B that is negative. So where's the issue?

      Of course, that being said, you just had an issue with your ex sleeping with your friend a week ago? Seems like you're jumping ship rather early. Rushing into a new relationship, even with someone decent, right after you went through a semi-relationship crisis never seems to be a good idea. Taking some time off to gather your thoughts seems like a good plan. If either of these guys really does like you then they will understand, and they shouldn't have a problem with taking things slow before you jump in the dating boat.

      I did this with my current boyfriend and wouldn't have had it any other way. I broke off with a serious relationship (was living with my ex for two years) a month before I met my current. We dating non-seriously for a month, since I told him I was not ready for commitment because I felt like my mind was on my ex too much, and I felt that would be unfair to my current. Well it worked out, and we have now been officially dating for two months (and do not see any crisis on the horizons).

      Don't be afraid to be single. When I was in high school I would latch on to boyfriend after boyfriend, and looking back, it would have been nice to spend time without a guy. Don't get me wrong, being in a relationship is great, but there are so many other things going on for you right now, and if you keep choosing assholes perhaps that should be a sign that you really need to get other priorities in order so that you do not continue to make the same mistakes?


      Thank you, I do agree with you that, I should stay single for a while and get things straightened out before I rush into something new. But like it just feels as if I never really cared about my ex at all. Why it may seem like I'm rushing into things way to fast with either of these guys.

    • Re: Torn Between the Two

      hheartstrongg wrote:

      I agree, guy B sounds better automatically because he hasn't done anything to hurt you. Guy A left, who's to say he won't leave again?

      I also agree with Jenny when she says don't be afraid to be single. Wait until you're sure there is someone who won't be an asshole. But also remember that high school relationships don't last forever, so don't automatically think guys are assholes because they break up with you. Girls mature faster than guys anyway ;)

      Honestly though, go with your heart. You could go with the guy you're not sure of, the one you are or neither. Good luck.

      --Support Leader, Jess


      Thank you :) I'm trying its just my heart is going in two different directions.
      I know what you mean by Guy A leaving, and as of right now Guy B is the one I'm more willing to go for. But I think as of right now I'm just gonna wait things out, and see where things go.