1. New beginings.

    • 1. New beginings.

      Comments please: =]
      wc [word count]: 717


      The sun rose through her window, you could hear Big Ben going off from not too far away. “Bella, please get up it’s time for school. Her mother said smiling knocking on the door. Bella rolled over and looked at the door. “Alright, in a sec.” she said putting her hand on her pillow looking at the clear blue sky. “Bella please get up.” Her mother said. Bella rolled her eyes and sat up yawning and rubbing her eyes. She got herself a quick a shower and headed down for breakfast. “As she came down the stairs, there was a ring at the door. Kelsi looked at Bella and shrugged. ““”Who would be at the door this early in the morning.” Kelsi asked. Kelsi opened the door to find it was her neighbor with a batch of cookies.


      “Oh, good morning, welcome we thought you would like some cookies.” Kelsi smiled and gently took them. “Thank you, I’m Kelsi and this is my daughter Bella and my husband is already at work.” Kelsi introduced. “Hi, I’m Nancy & this is my husband Stephen.” Nancy replied. “Would you like some tea?” Kelsi asked. “Sure, I’d love some.” Nancy said walking in. Kelsi walked her into the kitchen putting the cookies down. Bella on the other hand grabbed a cookie to go. “ I got to get to class, I think I have to take the tube to get to the part of London I need to be, Till later mom bye.” Bella said grabbing her messenger bag and heading on out and out the door. With her headphones in her ear listening to her iPod as she walked the streets checking her purse getting money out for her tube pass, once she got her pass she took the tube to right spot where she later got off and headed down the street and found herself in front of the school. Bella stopped in-front of the school pushing her brunette hair back looking up. She sighed once and walked into The American school in London. Bella got her schedule out of the front office and looked for her homeroom class. Room 202 “ Bella spoke to herself as she continued to walk, She opened the door to the classroom and everyone started to get quiet a few whispers now and then. “ This is Isabella Barnes.”
      The teacher introduced. ‘Bella, I go by Bella.” Bella corrected quickly before sitting down and listening to the teacher go on about the events that were going on in the school. A note had been placed on Bella’s desk. She picked up it up slowly started to unfold it looking around and then down.

      “Ello, Bella, and Sorry about what happened a few months back I know you probably won’t talk to me. But I hope we can still be my best.”
      Nathan.



      Bella looked around and then behind her to see Nathan waving, she rolled her eyes and looked forward sighing. Once the bell had rung she rushed out of the classroom trying to head to her next class before dropping her stuff off into her lockers. “Save it Nathan, You broke my heart, after I confessed my love to you and you going to go back to your ex. No.” she said closing her locker and walking away. “Bella look I’m really sorry I want to make it up to you.” Nathan said rushing after her standing in front of her. “How is that?” Bella asked. “How about during Lunch.” Nathan spoke before walking away.
      Bella shook her head and headed to a couple of her classes before lunch; she grabbed her bagged lunch and looked around for Nathan whom he was sitting with his group of friends and his girlfriend. “Ew is she really sitting here.” Laura asked. “Uh,” Nathan said softly. “Oh no don’t worry Nathan, I won’t sit here, by the way you look a little hot.” She said picking up a milk carton and opening in and pouring it on his head. “You better cool off.” She said sitting the carton back onto the table and smiling before walking away. The whole cafeteria started “OOOOH,”: and laughed. As the day ended Bella headed home. “How was your day Bella,” Nolan asked. “ Good daddy, “ she said before walking upstairs.
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    • Re: 1. New beginings.

      I read the whole thing and honestly it didn't captivate me entirely. Also I'm guessing you named the character Bella due to Twilight which is a big time TL: DR and I'm sorry to say but that's kinda how this story is going so far. I think your story needs first of all to be written better, when I say better I'm referring to grammar, punctuation, etc. The story would work better with more descriptive imagery as well, there were next to no adverbs or adjectives.

      I think with fair bit of work it could have potential, but until then I give it 4.5/10.

      The post was edited 1 time, last by doolie ().

    • Re: 1. New beginings.

      doolie wrote:

      I read the whole thing and honestly it didn't captivate me entirely. Also I'm guessing you named the character Bella due to Twilight which is a big time TL: DR and I'm sorry to say but that's kinda how this story is going so far. I think your story needs first of all to be written better, when I say better I'm referring to grammar, punctuation, etc. The story would work better with more descriptive imagery as well, there were next to no adverbs or adjectives.

      I think with fair bit of work it could have potential, but until then I give it 4.5/10.



      Actually I've liked the name Bella for awhile, not because of Twilight. But thanks for your review.
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