Overprotective Parents

    • Overprotective Parents

      My mom won't let me handle anything on my own. I'm turning 17 soon, and I'm ranked 3rd in the nation for my age in my sport. However, my parents will give me no freedom at all. AND they have no experience whatsoever in anything athletic. They dictate everything I do at competitions (even though I hardly listen and do the thing I know I"m supposed to, cause what they tell me to do are pretty bad). Whenever I have any political problems dealing with my sport, they don't let me have a say in it at all even though the outcome could affect me for the rest of my athletic career and wouldn't affect them in the slightest. They always complain about the cost of going to out-of-town competitions even though they only have to pay for themselves (I'm paid for by my team), but they absolutely won't let me go alone. Why? No idea. Oh, they ALWAYS talk smack about me when I try to confront them about it, eg. things like 'you're so disrespectful of your parents' or 'youre so irresponsible and unthankful of what we've done' and stuff. And I do respect what they've done, but its not much to ask for just a bit of freedom, is it?

      This stretches outside my sport as well, but it doesn't seem as bad because most of my social life (or whatever hasn't been controlled by them yet) happens during my athletic life.

      What can I do to convince them I'm not a baby anymore? I'm losing my childhood and the great experience of traveling the nation while being responsible for yourself... the experience many of my teammates have had since they were 12 or younger.

      Help...

    • Re: Overprotective Parents

      .......................... Thinking...........................

      I was also in that state. I remember waiting till I am 18, then I started talking to my mom, asking to let me have a boyfriend, and she let me.

      I think parents won't let you go until they see a sense of responsibility in you. I remember asking them why aren't they giving me freedom. They say it's just because I have been very lazy, and I do not show a sense of responsibility, like cleaning the house, etc.

      If they see that you are starting to take charge on most work in the house, they will be kind enough to let you have your "freedom" as what you say.

      This is just my opinion. I don't know if it will work on you, but it doesn't hurt to try.....

    • Re: Overprotective Parents

      Just because you are ranked 3rd in your nation for your age group in sport it doesn't mean that your parents are automatically going to think your responsible enough to deal with it all. However, I do agree that they sound over protective.
      I think what you need to do is sit down and talk with them in a *calm* and rational way about why you want more freedom. Tell them that you want to be involved in the decisions regarding your sport because after all, this is your future, not theirs. If they still accuse you of disrespecting them and being unthankful for what they've done, then I guess there's not much you can do other than to keep on trying. Eventually, their stubborness will have to budge.

      In regards to them complaining about paying to go to out of town competitions but not letting you go alone - that's typical of most parents I would think (not complaining about sport specifically but complaining about things they can change but not changing the situation). They complain irrationally about almost everything it seems and then call their children bratty, which doesn't make sense. My mum does it all the time about many things.

      What can you do to convince them your not a baby anymore? Well, I think you've already proved that to me and if your parents can't see it, they must be blind or in denial. Some parents want to keep their children as young as they can for as long as possible. For all I know, your parents could just be too scared to admit that your growing up and will soon be independant.
      [SIZE=3]"If you visit the killing floor of a slaughter house, it will brand your soul for life." :( [/SIZE]
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    • Re: Overprotective Parents

      heres what i would do:
      -start forcibly giving myself my own freedom, and if they try to stop you, tell them to fuck off.
      -call up my friends and get rides to town (i live way out of town)
      -segregate myself from my parents until they agree to some sort of compromise
      -if all that fails, move out

      probably not the best way to go about it, but the compromise part is a good thought. if they put you down like you said they do whenever you confront them, just say if you're such great parents, you'd listen to your child instead of depriving them of freedom. their ignorance towards your thoughts sounds quite high. just tell them your thoughts about what you should do. if it doesn't go well... choose the last option! good luck
      We sing the Death Song kids
      Because we've got no future...
      And we want to be just like you...

    • Re: Overprotective Parents

      Kraizee wrote:

      My mom won't let me handle anything on my own. I'm turning 17 soon, and I'm ranked 3rd in the nation for my age in my sport. However, my parents will give me no freedom at all. AND they have no experience whatsoever in anything athletic. They dictate everything I do at competitions (even though I hardly listen and do the thing I know I"m supposed to, cause what they tell me to do are pretty bad). Whenever I have any political problems dealing with my sport, they don't let me have a say in it at all even though the outcome could affect me for the rest of my athletic career and wouldn't affect them in the slightest. They always complain about the cost of going to out-of-town competitions even though they only have to pay for themselves (I'm paid for by my team), but they absolutely won't let me go alone. Why? No idea. Oh, they ALWAYS talk smack about me when I try to confront them about it, eg. things like 'you're so disrespectful of your parents' or 'youre so irresponsible and unthankful of what we've done' and stuff. And I do respect what they've done, but its not much to ask for just a bit of freedom, is it?

      This stretches outside my sport as well, but it doesn't seem as bad because most of my social life (or whatever hasn't been controlled by them yet) happens during my athletic life.

      What can I do to convince them I'm not a baby anymore? I'm losing my childhood and the great experience of traveling the nation while being responsible for yourself... the experience many of my teammates have had since they were 12 or younger.

      Help...


      Hey Kraizee,

      In answer to your question - no, its not much to ask for a bit of freedom, but your parents, and not only just yours, but most parents are this way with thier children, its a fact of life really. Course, there is protective and over protective.

      Have you tried chatting to your parents about how you feel? Rationally and sensibly? Sometimes, you have to prove something to your parents before they realise for themselves, you know the whole "Well, he's growing up afterall.." and they I will realise eventually. Some take longer then others, and this might be your case. But, don't give up.

      I know its stressful and so annoying, but you have to keep your cool. Difficult? Yes, very, and i'm not denying that. Yes, you are growing up, and you yourself know that, maybe your parents know that already, but, just don't want to accept it because they aren't ready to let you 'go'. Know what I mean?

      Take care,

      Support Leader,

      SimpleGirl*