Okayy, So 18 Months Today I Lost My Boyfriend Who Was My Closest Friend To Suicide, He Wasn't The Kind Of Guy You'd Eye Up In The Street But I Never Have Or Will Care About That He Meant Everything To Me . I Thought At First I Was Taking It Hardest , I Wasnt Sleeping And I Was Hearing Voices And Seeing His Body Covered In Blood Whenever I Looked In Windows , Mirrors, Or Anything Reflective , I Was Put On Medication For This 8 Months Ago And It Works 99% Of The Time , But Now I Really Seem To Be Taking It Harder, Im Not Eating Properly , Drinking , Sleeping Properly, Or Taking Care Of My Apperance ( Basically I Dont Mind If I Look Like A Complete ScruffBag ). Today I Went To A Huge Cathedral Near Liverpool City Center ( And Its Huge Has A Fucking Resturant In It And Stuff ) And I Lit A Candle For Him, And There Was this One Part Where You Write Something On A Heart And Stick It On A Metal Frame With All The Others And I Did That For Him And For The First Time Ever I Prayed.... And It Was To/For Him, I Do Talk To Him Sometimes But Today Was My First Proper Prayer . But Ever Scince I Prayed For Him Ive Had This Wierd Feeling Inside Me And I Dont Know What It Is Or What To Do , I Feel Like Now I Need Him More Then Ever , I Just Can't Let Go
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